when your child announces they’re Spider-Man, you generally do things like buy them a Spider-Man costume and let them wear it. Or choose the spider-man wellies. Or whatever.
no one believes they are Spider-Man. But they can dress however they like.
Same if your son wants to wear a dress or have glittery trainers. He’s just expressing his interests. But people start acting like that’s incompatible with his sex and creating (then reinforcing) the idea that there’s something wrong with him and his body needs to change.
why can’t he just have glittery shoes and it be nothing more than that?
DS2 was a little magpie. At about 5 he wanted shiny gold high tops (which were to be found in the ‘girls section’). I bought them and he happily wore them. It meant nothing more than he wanted shiny shoes.
i was a total ‘tomboy’ throughout primary school. Looking back, it was mostly about me recognising that boys got away with more and could do things. And short hair and boys clothes were comfortable and practical. I didn’t think I was a boy and I’m so glad no one was there to try to trans me - and create a huge set of problems to go into puberty with.