Flat share, female or non binary only

[TheDuchessOfBeddington]

I live in a popular for students city, and have so far seen two adverts for flat shares requesting female OR non-binary flat mates.

To my mind this means woman, OR women or men who consider themselves non binary, therefore what would be the point of requiring flat mates to be women in the first place?

When I was a student a lot of flat shares were women only, which I can personally understand as it could be a very different environment in a mixed sex flat.

I suppose what I’m trying to ask is, are young female students today feeling ‘forced’ to include non-binary people in their flat share? What is the difference between a young woman who is non-binary and a young man who is non-binary?

Forgive me my head is hurting trying to figure this out!

I've noticed some things, which I think are intended for girls, that say this as well - things like camps for teens. I believe they are trying to include girls who consider themselves non-binary, but I was rather curious as to how they would manage it if they got non-binary boys.

Well they could just say 'no rugger buggers or blokish boors' but stating negatives publicly like that that might annoy people. They want women or sensitive types, who they think they'll get one with, I imagine.

@MangyInseam

I've noticed some things, which I think are intended for girls, that say this as well - things like camps for teens. I believe they are trying to include girls who consider themselves non-binary, but I was rather curious as to how they would manage it if they got non-binary boys.

Thank you for the reply, I guess I would like to know what would be the case if a man shows up to the viewing and says he identifies as non binary?

They have clearly requested women on the advert, so what would they say?

I think this usually means "women only, including women who don't like the word woman applied to them", i.e. the intention is not avoid offending or excluding some women rather than to include some men. But they may well feel obliged to take a man if one pitches up.

I've noticed some local woke events using circumlocutions like "women and non-binary people comfortable with a women-centred space" which I assume is an attempt to avoid men with blue hair and/or nail varnish coming along.

The trouble is though that even if they say is women-only, they still run the risk of a male turning up and causing a fuss if not picked/included. It's slim, but these days existent. Non-binary just increases that risk.

And also if a male turns up there's a likelihood that one flatmates will feel obliged to accept him purely because she feels sorry for him.

The only way to be clear now is to list biological attributes without the word woman/female...

Many people don’t know really what it means. That’s how at an overnight camp a number of masculine looking adult “non-binary” men were able to stay in the same cabins as fifth grade girls. Just use they/them pronouns and voilà! Nobody dares say no.

I agree with you OP, to me it reads females and males. But hipper.

They may think it means ‘women who say they are women and those who don’t’ but isn’t reality they will have males rock up saying that they are NB and kick off if they aren’t offered a place.

It’s up to them if they think a male person who calls themselves they/them or ‘Enby’ or whatever is a desirable flatmate.

The sort of students who use a wording like that are probably TWAW so their 'woman' could include males too. Maybe the penny will now start to drop for them around the implications to women's safety of the 'blurred lines' trans activist push to change our language.

I wonder if many male student households would use that wording?

I mean if someone predatory and creepy showed up and acted predatory and creepy during the meeting, they will probably say "er.... let's not" to each other anyway. Just like if a woman showed up and acted really weird and creepy.

Nobody would say anything at the viewing. It would be part of the discussion afterwards. You don't have to give the room to everyone who views it?

Male student households tend not to be afraid of strange women and therefore they don't advertise for male only households so you don't get the same issue.

@BertieBotts

I mean if someone predatory and creepy showed up and acted predatory and creepy during the meeting, they will probably say "er.... let's not" to each other anyway. Just like if a woman showed up and acted really weird and creepy.

Nobody would say anything at the viewing. It would be part of the discussion afterwards. You don't have to give the room to everyone who views it?

Though even there you have just opened up your lives a tiny bit to a predatory male and sadly in my experience when a predatory male finds out where and how you live, your life may become very difficult.

Of the women are particularly young or ‘on trend’ the wind date to say no, especially if the person is rather forceful.

With adverts like that, the likelihood is that a "non-binary" male turning up will be a predatory chancer, and not gender confused/non conforming male.

I've seen several of these ads as dd is currently room hunting.

The people placing the ads are usually pretty "woke" for want of a better word so they are not bothered.

Why cant they just put female only?

If I was a student looking for a house share, at least I'd know which ones to avoid though.

the wind date to say no huh?? (Wouldn't dare?)

It's easy to just choose somebody else if the person isn't there and you've had several viewings.

hank you for the reply, I guess I would like to know what would be the case if a man shows up to the viewing and says he identifies as non binary?

They would probably just choose someone else. The system appears to be that when someone leaves a flat-share or house-share the remaining residents, pick their new housemate for whatever reasons they like. My dd was turned down several times for being too young, for being a performer, not liking to go out for bottomless brunches (yes really) etc etc

@Whatsnewpussyhat

Why cant they just put female only?

If I was a student looking for a house share, at least I'd know which ones to avoid though.

Because it is a sign that no people that believe in biological essentialism live there.

I suppose what I’m trying to ask is, are young female students today feeling ‘forced’ to include non-binary people in their flat share? What is the difference between a young woman who is non-binary and a young man who is non-binary?

No. They aren't forced. They're acting according to their own values and beliefs, just like you.

They'll interview housemates and chose one they feel comfortable with. No more dangerous than any other way of advertising for a housemate.

No need to hurt your head over it. They're fine.

I did steer dd away from the ad that said no TERFS, no SWERFS. (I had to look SWERF up)

It makes 0 sense :) There's nothing else to it.

@Comefromaway

I did steer dd away from the ad that said no TERFS, no SWERFS. (I had to look SWERF up)

Is this really the current state of affairs?!

It's because they know that most non-binary people are women, so they can appear inclusive by wording it this way, but still end up with a female flatmate, which is what they want.