This is what "be kind" does

[DryHeave]

I saw a TikTok. A woman/girl (unsure of age, refers to herself as a girl) selling a checked skirt and receiving predatory messages trying to draw her into the "buyer's" fantasy.

What struck me was this "buyer" was totally upfront with being a cross dresser and the woman/girl told herself to approach this in a 'nice' and 'respectful' way.

This is what be kind does. It makes women and girls ignore their inner sense of safety and get into situations that are harmful.

I've transcribed below:

-gets a message on messenger about a skirt I'm selling-
Owen: Is this still available
Beth: Yes it is
O: I'm so embarrassed I'm a cross dresser
-Okay, be nice and respect him-
B: Don't be embarrassed it's perfectly normal nowadays
O: Aww thanks. Is this very short?
B: No not overly short, about halfway down the thigh on me
O: I'm 5'6
B: yes I'm 5'6 too
-Ooh maybe he wants the skirt-
O: Cool. Can I wear it out with knickers or just at home il prob flash
B: I wore it out and at home. If you're worried about flashing maybe wear a little pair of tight shorts underneath?
O: Cool did you flash
-HUH-
B: No
-Maybe he's just worried about the length of the skirt-
O: Any pics with it on
B: No sorry
O: OK cud I go commando underneath with this on would I be safe
B: yes
O: really just afraid I'll get hard. Did you wear anything underneath? What?
B: underwear
O: G string just asking so I'll no what to do
B: you can wear anything under it
O: ok did you wear a g string or what
B: I wore anything I felt like
O: ok this is after turning me on this is why I have to be so careful so embarrassed
B: what the fuck
O: just thinking of the skirt
B: No you are not
O: U tell me so???
B: you shouldn't be messaging girls about what underwear they wear and whether they flash people and certainly not saying you are turned on.

That's horrible. Poor girl.

Yes, “be kind” tells girls to ignore their boundaries and instincts because it’s not “kind” to scream and run away from an obvious pervert

I tried to sell a skirt once on marketplace. Guy messaged and asked how long it was. I blocked him instantly and didn’t reply. Creeps.

Oh god.

I hope someone has explained a few things to her now about her right to block anyone, anytime.

Awful

Bloody perverts are everywhere.

She managed that well I thought.

@FemaleAndLearning

Bloody perverts are everywhere.

.....And have always been. It's nothing to do with cross dressers.

I remember my mum getting "weirdo" phone calls when trying to sell my outgrown school uniform in the small ads in the local paper back in the 1980s.

Just block them (the 2020s version of hanging up the receiver).

When my mum was doing waxing and hair removal from home in the late 1990s, she got a booking from a guy who wanted a back, sack and crack.

I remember her unming and ahhing about it for ages, she obviously was not comfortable but didn't know how to say no.

She didn't do it in the end but I can't remember what she said.

We are teaching our teen girls to be the opposite of kind - in fact to be suspicious unfriendly and to put aside manners when men they don’t know speak to them. My 13 year old has already had verbal sexually abused on a bus - which she reported to the driver and got him kicked off. Be kind can get to fuck in this house.

@FemaleAndLearning

Bloody perverts are everywhere.

Aren't they? It feels like these revolting men are being churned out by the thousands in some grotty factory somewhere.

Used to volunteer on a listening charity line. That type of conversation was common and depressingly familiar.

This is the modern day version of a dirty phone call. Will always be weirdos out there. Sadly for the girl though, it will never change. She needs to learn at what point to slam the phone down/blow the whistle down the phone (remember that?) In this case just stop any communication. In 5 years time it will have morphed from Tik Tok videos into another form of wank fodder.

What is odd thinking about this is how this is not talked of. I experienced numerous grim pervy incidents as a young girl my daughters are now having the same and it started at 11. Yet it isn’t discussed in MSM or in society generally and still the “be kind” message is pushed to girls.

This sexual grimness is absolutely endemic for teen girls when out and about yet nothing is even talked about let alone done about it.

The week after my Dad’s funeral, my mum started getting dirty phone calls. You couldn’t block them or find the number in those days.

It must have been someone who knew us, too, and knew she was a widow with 4 kids.

Possibly they’d even been to his funeral.

That is horrible for your mum. I agree it must be someone she knows, how scary.

@Sazzasez

The week after my Dad’s funeral, my mum started getting dirty phone calls. You couldn’t block them or find the number in those days.

It must have been someone who knew us, too, and knew she was a widow with 4 kids.

Possibly they’d even been to his funeral.

That was so common (my mother similarly widowed at young age with young children).

Because we lived in an area with a lot of brothels (3 within a few doors of us on either side) and sex workers, it was astonishing how many more knocks on the door/window we had from men affected to have mistaken which house numbers the brothels were. They were plainly hoping that we were broke enough that my mum would need to earn extra money either through herself or us or vulnerable enough that they could push in if anyone had been stupid enough to open a door or accessible window.