Feeling like I’m failing by not speaking out more.

[Faffertea]

That’s it really.
Professionally I’m trying to tread the line of being an advocate for my patients but I can’t say what I really think without very carefully thinking it through and phrasing it exactly right. I’m looking after 3 teenagers with gender ID issues. One girl who is under CAMHs with significant MH problems, possibly ASD who thinks she might want to transition and magic! Problem solved.
Another girl has had an horrific childhood, has recently said she’s non binary and associates her (female) birth name with her previous life so now has a new gender neutral one. She lives in care and until I very carefully and cautiously suggested perhaps her new identity was a response to her trauma apparently no one had considered it. The third teenager is male, says he thinks he has gender dysphoria, lots of talk and analysis of his gender, his sexuality and now wants hormones, surgery, the lot. But can’t tell me why or what he thinks the end goal is. I can’t refuse to refer him to GIDS even though I worry there won’t be a thorough exploration of his feelings and he’ll be on a medical pathway I fundamentally have issues with.
And in the last 24 hours an online forum, specifically for female medics is now saying the case of the woman raped on a hospital ward is all transphobia, TWAW, transwomen are no more likely to be violent/sexually assault than other women etc etc and anyone who disagrees is an evil bigot equivalent to a racist. I know the arguments, I know they’re spouting TRA nonsense but the few times I’ve challenged posts like it before, and in fact the one time I posted in support of JKR after her first essay I got piled on (although I had lots of private messages saying they agree) so now I can’t even muster the will to fight it and I don’t want a target on my back as I’m on there with my real name.
Feel like I’m failing at standing up for my beliefs and for women’s rights I so strongly believe in (and will rant to my friends and DH about) while failing to call out their bullshit leaving those who know nothing about the situation to believe their lies. My heart rate goes up when I try and put a post together and teenage me is enraged at my lack of courage.

Concentrate on doing your best for those children as you are trying to do abs that's enough for me to think you are great

OP, we all do what we can. It is no small feat to stand up against the tide, to lay yourself open to the mob.

I agree with mudge, do what you can to best help your patients and the rest of it - well. Small steps. Social media makes a lot of noise but if that's not a good place for you to take a stand then you don't need to. More is probably achieved by writing to MPs, to be honest.

We pick our battles. Sometimes we decide to risk speaking out, sometimes not. This is a long fight, it won't be over for a good while yet.

I can’t say what I really think without very carefully thinking it through and phrasing it exactly right

This is probably no bad thing!

Stay strong, you are not alone.

For every person who shouts "transphobia" online (re hospital ward rape) there are at least two people staying quiet who are like you, planning how to negotiate this batshittery.

I’ve felt the same for a while, because there was no clear pathway where I felt I could make a difference.

Recently something of a pathway has presented itself, so it may be that time will solve the issue for you as well. Things still aren’t progressing fast, but I now have some contacts in my profession and we are working together.

If you are a medical professional, are you on Twitter? LaScapigliata is also a medic and trying to fight from within, to the best of her ability. I’m sure she’d be glad to hear from you.

In the meantime, with the young people under your care, please carry on protecting them to the best of your ability. Hopefully time will be your friend there too. Surely with Cass, changes are afoot.

Pick your battles.

I've been astonished at some of the people that I've known for decades who espouse these mantras and seem to have been subject to Lifton's 8 Criteria for Thought Reform. The people who specialise in sexual and reproductive health seem especially prone to believe things that would astonish their younger selves.

Many GPs seem to be trapped in #BeKind in a unidirectional way and encouraged to discard critical thinking or exploration in favour of affirmation. An attitude that would be discouraged in any other form of consultation.

I'm a long way from being able to follow Solzhenitsyn's advice. We all do what we can.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/4382551-Live-not-by-lies-Solzhenitsyn-no-tambourines-involved?

I really feel for you, OP. This is a truly appalling time we're living through.

Thanks for the replies. After writing the post I thought some more and decided to comment. I wrote what I hoped was a balanced post, pointing out the the main GC argument about opening same sex spaces to any male and the effect that has for some women. No pile on which was good.
This morning the whole thing has been deleted and a new post about transphobia in the group has appeared.

All we can do is keep on keeping on!

Ah, you're in a captured group, then. Take heart from the absence of dissent. Most people support gc principles even if they aren't feminists - it's pretty straightforward common sense. But most people don't speak up for the sake of a quiet life. So well done for standing up for your principles and for women. Bit by bit we'll get there.

I've been astonished at some of the people that I've known for decades who espouse these mantras and seem to have been subject to Lifton's 8 Criteria for Thought Reform.

www.cultrecover.com/sites/default/files/pdfs/lifton8criteria.pdf

Sorry to derail, but I've just looked this up and holy shit most of these are spot on in explaining the whole trans ideology and adherence to it. It's scary I suppose how easily led we are as humans into ridiculous thinking.

I believe small acts of courage, wherever and whenever we can, is making inroads.

I know the moral of the crow & the pitcher is about necessity and invention but to me it’s also about patience and perseverance, especially in situations that are incredibly threatening.

Every pebble of courage raises the water up.

Not everyone has to be a strident campaigner. A thoughtful word or conversation can go a long way. A nudge towards thinking a bit more widely and critically.

I actually think what you’ve done there is amazing. I work in a similar field and would be too afraid of backlash. I know when you look at people who are so openly GC in public it can feel small, but I am confident you will have emboldened others in that group, and made others think. It’s so sad and ridiculous how nervewracking this is. But you are doing great with the bits that you can, whilst keeping a job.

Have you read the Cass report? Help is coming. She has your back. Dont get into the political arguments about sport or single sex spaces, focus on the huge issues she has cited in her interim report.
Lack of evidence. GIDS is a shitshow. Exclusive focus on gender issues, not considering the child as a whole. Intimidation of medics (say you see this group as an example of that).

All of this is leading to poor medical practice. This has to be open to debate.

I bet SEGM, the Society for Evidence-Based Gender Medicine, would have some advice for you and maybe be able to connect you with others in your field who share your concerns.

segm.org/about_us

Marcus Evans, Michael Biggs, Richard Byng and other UK-based clinicians and academics are advisors to the group, which is international.

I forgot to add: you’re doing very well already, too! Your patients are very lucky to be in your care.

There's Thoughtful Therapists - thoughtfultherapists.org/ - who are working hard to counter this ideology, and a number of under-the-radar GC health professional groups where you could perhaps find support and solidarity (makes a huge difference).

And here's an article on La Scapigliata from last year which might at least cheer you up a bit: www.filia.org.uk/latest-news/2021/3/24/a-feminist-doctor-on-gender-identity-policies-institutional-capture-and-medicine

As others have said - please don't beat yourself up. You are doing a good job caring for those 3 young people. And brilliant that you posted on the group. Others will have seen it - and have seen that it was censored. Step by step.

I think with the rape case, something you could do is ask for some links to information about the case (if none presented so far). Or just post the link with 'link to the HoL speech' Then if someone posts a link to the speech at least whoever is on the thread will be able to read the speech for themselves.

I think you need to stand up for the truth for the sake of your own mental health and physical health the stress of plodding along essentially trying to not do your job and keep your mouth shut must be immense and frankly I dont think its worth it.