Reddit thread: struggling with new non binary manager

[RoyalCorgi]

This is so bonkers it defies summary:

www.reddit.com/r/TheCivilService/comments/tecaqw/struggling_with_new_non_binary_manager/

Sounds like bollocks to me.

It sounds as bollocks as any other AITA account on Reddit.

Meet Philip/Pips.

www.diogo-duarte.com/pips

Are they meant to work in the civil service in the uk? Saying ‘I could care less’? I think it is bollocks

The I could care less statement stuck out to me too. Brits don't usually say this absurd statement.

But anyway, it's utter bollocks and awful and therefore probably true. Poor bastard.

I feel bad for the OP so I was trying not to laugh but the Reasonable Non Binary in the comments did me in.

Speaking as a non-binary person myself, can confirm. It's an unreasonable expectation and there's no way I would expect my colleagues to refer to me by a different name multiple times a day without at least agreeing a system to indicates what name should be used

I can’t really imagine how this story plays out in practice but lean towards thinking it’s not fake only because of the subreddit it’s in. Small subreddit with a limited specialist audience, and on a forum for people working in the Civil Service you’d expect them to be easily able to sniff out a troll who doesn’t work there.

And no one is calling bullshit in the comments over there. Even if it’s fake it seems like actual Civil Service employees find the story plausible.

Who uses "dump truck" in the UK? Maybe I'm showing my age and the youngsters all talk 'merican but I think it's fake. What???? Someone misrepresenting something on the internet???

I wondered if it was an American too because of "I could care less" and "dump truck". But then I was puzzled by "whilst" which is not something that Americans use. It's possible that someone in the UK has picked up American usage from spending too much time on the internet.

It probably is fake - but I did wonder. It's such a niche subreddit that it was an odd one to choose to put a troll post on. Plus the person gets the UK civil service grades correct.

@DogDaysNeverEnd

Who uses "dump truck" in the UK? Maybe I'm showing my age and the youngsters all talk 'merican but I think it's fake. What???? Someone misrepresenting something on the internet???

The young people IME do use these forms along with dumpster fire and such.

I don't find it implausible on those grounds and, like Royal Corgi , I note the correct use of CS grades.

It's interesting though, no one seriously calls out the concept as basically bogus. They seem to mainly take it for granted that he does in fact have an identity that changes multiple times a day.

@Alonelonelylonersbadidea

The I could care less statement stuck out to me too. Brits don't usually say this absurd statement.

But anyway, it's utter bollocks and awful and therefore probably true. Poor bastard.

Plenty of Americanisms have been creeping into the British lexicon though.

@MangyInseam

It's interesting though, no one seriously calls out the concept as basically bogus. They seem to mainly take it for granted that he does in fact have an identity that changes multiple times a day.

What does the like of Lee E make of this (Maya Forstater's tribunal)? Would LE deny that these were 'sincerely held' identities?

@allmywhat

I feel bad for the OP so I was trying not to laugh but the Reasonable Non Binary in the comments did me in.

Speaking as a non-binary person myself, can confirm. It's an unreasonable expectation and there's no way I would expect my colleagues to refer to me by a different name multiple times a day without at least agreeing a system to indicates what name should be used

Even having a system, it's batshit.

If one were a gender fluid NB (I admit that I'm not fully across this concept), I'd think one of the least dysphoric things I could do would be to call myself a name like Valerie which would notionally serve most gender identities and be very helpful for anyone interacting with me.

My kids call nappies diapers and it makes me want to cry at the same time as hating myself for turning into my Dad. Maybe the OP is transnational?

I used to work with someone like this.

Difference is they were the patient not the manager.

"Dear Sir/Madam"

Should do the job.

Im in the 'bullshit' category. None of this rings true. Screaming?

I'm not sure, it sounds so batshit crazy that it makes you think it is true. After all it is said that the truth is stranger than fiction.

If it is true it probably isn't doing the manager's heart much good.

Re CS grades - do they, though? I've not come across HO and AHO, and I've been CS for 8years. Is it a department specific one? The same as HEO and SEO, maybe?

I absolutely hate the way many now say “I could care less” when they actually mean “I couldn’t care less”. The 2 statements are complete opposites and it makes me wince every time - do people not read what they are writing? How can they not understand the phrase they are using?

Aside from that, I think the post is bollocks.

With the Grades, I wonder if AHO was an editing error: AO & HO are HMRC grades

I hope it’s made up, because nobody should have to put up with this; but it’s pretty horrifying that it’s so utterly plausible the sub are willing & able to advise. Even sounding fairly GC, some of them…

So, I just had a look at this guy's post history.

Seems he is English, but with a heavy consumption of US culture (super into the NFL / American football plus a load of American TV shows). He also says "HR have" (Americans would us have) and describes his weight in a totally different thread in stones (Americans would never).

I'm guessing he has picked the Americanisms up from TV or having American friends. My other half is American and you do end up repeating what you hear!

Final point - nothing else in his fairly lengthy (if occasionally a bit... eccentric) post history suggests this guy is a troll. All of his other posts and comments seem completely genuinely.

Totally nuts though, if that story is true! It does read like satire!

EDIT - Americans would say "HR has'

I worked with someone on a project who was non binary / genderfluid - biologically male. They always used the same female sounding name but sometimes they presented as a traditional female, sometimes as a traditional male, sometimes androgynously and sometimes with mixed elements (men's dress shirt and pants with full face of make-up and high heels). They did not use male or female pronouns or any pronouns and asked that we only refer to by them by their first name.

I found it somewhat stressful in ensuring I did and said everything right. There was always just a tension in the room as they were very assertive / outspoken and no one wanted to offend them. They were also on LGBTQ committees and advocacy projects so it just added an additional element of eggshells.