Frugi (maternity + kids clothing) send email about mothers day...

[sacredfeminina]

Frugi are offering to not send any promotional emails regarding Mother's day as they say Mother's day is a 'sensitive time for some'.

Frugi is primarily a clothing company for children and parents with a big maternity range, therefore pretty much their entire clientele are MOTHERS.

Why on earth do they feel the day of mother celebration is 'sensitive'?

They didn't seem very bothered about their Muslim and Jehovah's Witness clients with their christmas + easter emails... And they didn't offer to protect their customers from the insult of fathers day last year.

I feel really angry, it feels like part of the attack on the word mother, a smear campaign against the word, like it needs to be hidden or we need to be careful to not offend anyone by using it.

I emailed them, I refuse to spend money with a company that suggests mother's day is in anyway negative.

Here is a better screenshot:

I understand some people have lost their mothers or have trauma, but this is a website specifically for mothers themselves. Although the email seems harmless and polite, just the mere offering is undermining the celebration or motherhood. It feels like one step in the direction of the day being hijacked as 'parent's day'

Similar thread a couple of weeks ago. I don't understand why people jump to the conclusion that it's trying to erase the word 'mother'.

Mother/Father's day is about one's own mother/father - not being a mother/father to someone else. Many people no longer have a mother/father so publicising the day to them is (i) irrelevant and (ii) possibly upsetting if they're bereaved. Some companies have been offering an opt-out from such marketing for years.

I disagree. There are threads running in AIBU about this.
It is an issue if they only give an option to miss out of Mother's Day rather than other big events too.

I actually like the new options to opt out (though I would prefer the requests to be made all together at a different time of year). I personally find myself very conflicted about Mothers Day.

Yeah this is a standard thing in the run-up to various events where promotional emails might upset people.
I might pop onto the frugi website to buy pyjamas without being reminded of my mum's death, but an email when I'm not expecting it might be unpleasant.
Not for me. I get triggered by very niche stuff.
But it seems to be a way companies perform sensitivity in general, rather than something designed to invisiblise mothers.

Uhm... this is nothing to do with gender stuff. Businesses have been doing this for years - the idea is that for some people Mother's day is sensitive because perhaps people had/have a shit relationship with their own mums, or they no longer have one and they might be upset by getting promotions about it. That's really all it is. No one's trying to make it 'Parents' day'.

And nobody does this for Christmas/Easter because, despite what the Daily Mail believes, Muslims, Jews etc are not 'offended' by the existence of these things. But Mother's Day might be a specific emotional issue for some people.

I appreciate this option. I lost my Mam nearly two years ago, Mother's Day is not what it was to me.

Not everyone who buys from them will be buying for themselves or their own children. My cousin buys from there for her nieces and friends, she lost her own mum years ago and was never able to have her own children mothers day is really difficult for her and for a lot of women.
This is not about erasing women/motherhood but being sensitive to the women who would be upset by the repeated emails, many shops do this for both mothers day and fathers day

This is nothing to do with replacing the word mother.

this has been requested by people who hate mother's day because their own mother recently died, or they have a complex relationship with their mother, or are adopted and don't know their mother etc.

also women who have lost a baby or child and feel distraught that they are not a 'mother' or will not receive a gift from their child.

there are many reasons why a woman might want to opt out of the mass of marketing that surrounds 'mothers day' and which assumes that a delighted child will give a smiling mum some flowers / chocolates etc.

So if companies give people an option to opt-out of marketing, that is GOOD. not everything is about gender issues.

There has been a big bandwagon of this, this year.
It seems that if one company sends a "if mothers day is sensitive and you'd like to opt out" email they all do it.
However as has been pointed out in AIBU - if you don't want to think about mothers day for whatever reason - you don't want loads of these in the run-up either.
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4502092-To-think-Mothers-Day-opt-out-e-mails-are-triggering-in-themselves

I'm opposed to this mainly because it's part of a creeping tendency to encourage people to be fragile about anything they might find upsetting, and edit their world accordingly. This is EXACTLY how women have ended up in this mess regarding trans rights. We are supposed to edit our spaces and identity and words so that some people don't ever have to experience discomfort. Fuck that.

Nobody's ever met a bereaved Dad who buys clothes for his kids? There are plenty of people who would prefer not to see Mother's Day promotional emails. It's an option, you can choose, I don't see what the issue is.

@Phobiaphobic

I'm opposed to this mainly because it's part of a creeping tendency to encourage people to be fragile about anything they might find upsetting, and edit their world accordingly. This is EXACTLY how women have ended up in this mess regarding trans rights. We are supposed to edit our spaces and identity and words so that some people don't ever have to experience discomfort. Fuck that.

Or, it is people being permitted to use technology to set their own boundaries, and say 'yes, I would normally like to have marketing from you, but actually I don't want it on this topic.'

I don’t subscribe to Frugi, but the companies who send me opt out emails for Mother’s Day also do the same for Father’s Day and Valentine’s Day (and maybe others I’ve forgotten) - days which can be emotionally charged. There’s just the recognition that an email headed ‘treat your mother to the best Mother’s Day ever’ or similar might be upsetting for many people for many reasons. It’s nothing to do with erasing mothers - I’m sure they have a full marketing campaign planned, don’t worry.

Its good to see all of your persepctive; though I have a bad relationship with my mother I am not triggered by mothers day references ( I tend to feel proud that I now fall in that category of celebration)...

I clearly do find the option of opting out triggering... I think that is because we are seeing the deletion of the word mother in maternity literature, the media and schools it feels like an arm of that.

It will be interesting to see if they offer no father's day emails aswell this year

It may be gender related if they are trying not to offend people who do not associate themselves with the word 'mother'.

You are being ridiculous. Children and husbands/partners don’t get the email (who are the ones who will be buying for Mother’s Day). The mother will get it, so unless she’s buying herself something for Mother’s Day (highly unlikely), it’s so if she has lost her own mother she’s not reminded that she has nobody to buy for.

I’d usually be the first to find offence in this gender stuff but I genuinely don’t see it here. It’s to do with dead (or very difficult) mums. Mine is dead (recently) and I appreciate these opportunities.

It isn't just about people who have lost their own Mother but also those who have lost a child, lost a pregnancy, struggled/struggling to conceive, or coming to terms with being childless when it isn't a free choice.

You can end up on these mailing lists without being a mother, by buying a gift for example or buying maternity clothes for a pregnancy that didn't result in bringing a healthy baby home.

I obviously have a different view of this celebration... I see it as a celebration of my motherhood and all mothers everywhere, not just my own actual mother. Possibly why I am not triggered by it in relation to issues with my own mother...

Yes, I hear you all! I stand corrected.

I wouldn't jump to the conclusion that this it to change the word 'mother'. I didn't even cross my mind.
But Mother's Day is a difficult one for me, having lost a child, and also my mum very recently.

Bless you all. I take this moment to reflect, and to give thanks and love to all mothers past and present, to the difficulties of motherhood, and to the mothering element in all women xxx