Unbinary - a possible new youth-friendly term for gender free

[AtrociousCircumstance]

Here’s a thought.

I often think young people connect with the idea of being non-binary to make a statement that they don’t conform to societal norms about gender (and in doing so, inadvertently reinforce patriarchal gender roles - because if you can’t be a woman and not conform, then that posits that woman = conforming to gender roles).

So how about a new term? Which encompasses the sex of the person AND their desire to represent themselves as free from gender stereotypes?

So I am a woman and I am unbinary. Smash the patriarchy

[Title edited by MNHQ at OP's request]

I get where you're coming from, but I think the best definition of 'doesn't conform entirely with either male or female stereotypes' is in fact 'human'. Because pretty much nobody ticks every single female stereotype and no male ones, or vice versa. Besides I don't want to have to label myself as a new category of person in order to show my opinions about stereotypes. I am a woman. That's it.

Yes o hear you and feel exactly the same. But if young people are searching for a term this one is better!

Nobody can be "unbinary". Sex is binary and immutable in human beings, as in all mammals.

Anyone can reject gender stereotypes, though. (How successfully and at what cost depends on the society they live in, of course.)

I'd be happy with the term unbinary. I also like 'genderfree'. both reflect the desire to smash the constraints of gender which are imposed by society while leaving biological sex untouched.

I see what you mean. It's also what we call gender non-conforming. But I agree with crazyjinglist that hardly anyone is gender-conforming. For a start - something gender ideology conveniently ignores - there are large areas of life, culture, activities, tastes, behaviours etc that aren't gendered either way. Pretty much everyone does a whole load of non-gendered or gender-stereotyped things.

I think people who gender ideology appeals to are often people who either have a need to feel special and superior, or who feel different and excluded and want a "thing to be" that will bring them a support group and admiration. I do agree that thinking about how to address those needs or feelings is a good idea. But the trouble with not being "binary" is that it actually applies to almost everyone. You have to make it into this special "I'm not a woman" type angle in order to claim your differentness.

Sex is immutable, that's just how it is. Announcing yourself as non binary does a rather rude and arrogant slam dunk of everyone else in rigid boxes in order to be able to demonstrate one's personal freedom and uniqueness to be outside those boxes and different.

I really don't have the time to ponder out these wondrous labels, this is a luxury of time and capacity I don't have, life just needs getting on with. And I don't treat other people this way, or demand this service of others.

Listen - I agree that these terms shouldn’t be necessary. Sex is immutable and trans activism undermines feminism.

What I was wondering was purely if a term might appeal to young people who are bing vacuumed into this debate.

My sex is, has always been, and will always be female, whether I like it or not.

I identify as gender-free, and the term means a lot to me. Gender = shackles of unnecessary social norms. Some people embrace them. I don't. The term is political, and that's how I like it. It's a statement for me, but also for all humankind: gender is a prison that we should all aspire to break free from.

Non binary or unbinary doesn't have the same bite.

I like gender-free Robot and feel the same way. Non binary means something else - I guess unbinary was a term to encapsulate the same meaning as gender free.

So unbinary = gender-free for teenagers who want a more relatable term

In fact I worded my title incorrectly - it’s not a new way of looking at it, it’s a potential new term.

I saw someone else suggest that if all of us say we are non-binary it will no longer be seen as special. I think there's something in that. I actually tried it out on Twitter when I was getting attacked for supporting women. When I declared myself non-binary my twitter-foe apologized - until he realized I was a non- binary mum. That doesn't count apparently.

The problem with non binary is that it lacks logical coherence by conflating sex and gender. Sex is binary so you cannot be a non binary sex. Gender is a socially constructed spectrum so therefore not binary which means you can't have a non binary gender.

There is sex and personality.

People have been ‘non binary’ since the dawn of time. It just didn’t occur to them to announce it - because it is such a non-event.

As others have said, pretty much everyone is non-binary when it comes to gender - which is not even ‘binary’ anyway.

I think we need to focus on the ‘we’re all just humans’ aspect of it, as to me, ‘unbinary’ is just as meaningless as ‘non binary’.

Yeah it is meaningless but it’s an attempt to reach younger people who have been sucked into the need for labels for how they identify.

And it’s why I will never put ‘she/her’ in my email signature (or wherever else people put it), because not everything I do, or think, correlates with ‘sheness’ and/or ‘herness’. By any stretch.

I’m non binary when it comes to gender - because everyone is non binary when it comes to gender.

@Zerogravity

I saw someone else suggest that if all of us say we are non-binary it will no longer be seen as special. I think there's something in that. I actually tried it out on Twitter when I was getting attacked for supporting women. When I declared myself non-binary my twitter-foe apologized - until he realized I was a non- binary mum. That doesn't count apparently.

Which quite neatly illustrates how even those into all this are playing a surface level engagement wholly based on sex based beliefs.

The moment you mentioned 'mum' you became one of the people who don't get to be anything interesting or have any power or to define themselves, and who are they? They're the biological females.

Sex based thinking. Through and through. It's male supremacism in a mask, and engaging in any part of it is supporting all of it. I'm afraid my cynicism comes from bitter experience and I'm tired now, we've had years of this and the situation from women trying to understand, be kind, reason, rationalise, find better words..... yeah no. Tough love time.

The thing is though, although I am definitely "gender non-binary" (as gender isn't binary), I don't think I'm gender-free. I have gender expression, sometimes I do or wear more traditionally feminine things, sometimes not, and that's because I want to. I'm aware that I use gender signifiers to express who I am, even as a very GC feminist.And I think that's also generally true for people who want to be non-conforming - they are expressing a subversion of or challenge to a stereotype.

I agree that there's sex and personality, and personality may be influenced by or interact with gender and gender stereotypes. Most people are not at one end of a "gender binary" but I would argue most people are also not "gender-free", in that it does influence most of us.

I think what would help those who've been sucked into GI is to understand that whatever your gender expression/personality, you can have it independently of sex and it doesn't have to say anything about your sex. That's where this has all gone so wrong.

It comes back to the old paradox of non-binary tho'... if there's binary people and non-binary people, then that sets up a binary. In which case non-binary people are simultaneous binary and non-binary at the same time... a logical impossibility 😖

I completely get wanting a term the youth can adopt, both to express who they are and also to protect them. As a PP noticed, labelling yourself 'non binary' makes people back off....up to a point, and I think her problem there was not so much being female but being a mum, obviously terminally uncool.
I like gender free as I think it's more accurate and more logical than unbinary. Or what about gender rebel?
Whichever, we face an uphill battle getting it adopted. However, I think having a cool flag, that can be made into stickers and badges would be a start.

@StillWeRise yes! I’m not attached to Unbinary as a term, I just think kids and young people need some way to embrace not being sucked into trans ideology.

Happy for alternatives to be suggested. Gender rebel is good!

I definitely agree it's worth thinking about a new "identity" movement that means you're proud of your body/biology and not held back or ruled by gender stereotypes - especially for girls, if possible. It should be possible to see being female as an exclusive, special thing that is just as much about "lived experience" as other identities - if that's the way it has to be to help young people to be proud of it.

Obviously it's actually just the (real) feminism that's been around for ages, but rebranded - and if that might help girls to see they can be any kind of woman and not fitting in doesn't mean they're not a woman, it would be a good thing.

this new movement would also have to help boys see they can be any kind of boy/man they want to be as well

we need someone in- I don't know, marketing?- to seed the idea

and we must have a cool flag

this new movement would also have to help boys see they can be any kind of boy/man they want to be as well

Agree with this - let’s face it, it’s predominantly men who don’t fit into the tires gender stereotypes driving most trans radical activism, threatening women’s spaces and sports.

If more men could feel able to eschew damaging stereotypes and just be themselves, surely the world would be a happier place.

Yes it would be for everyone