Newsletter from school

[Grade8piano]

Hi there,

We’ve received a newsletter from school, highlighting LGBT month and exhorting us to not presume pronouns, and use they/them instead. Telling us to use the word partner and not husband / wife.

It goes on to tell us all about cisgender, (including how to pronounce it!), and that we can use the word queer to describe people, and on and on.

Should I say something or just let it lie?

@Georgeskitchen

I remember back in the days when calling someone queer would be deemed offensive and insulting I can't get my head round why it has suddenly become acceptable. Could anyone enlighten me?

There was a movement to reclaim the word from - I would say mostly gay men. In the past few years it's changed tho and is now often used to mean anything from bisexual to heterosexual with unexpected hair colour. Many people still find it offensive.

Sorry, 'by' not 'from' gay men!

I wouldn't remove my child for this but would challenge that they're presenting opinion as fact.
Opinion that won't be universally shared amongst parents, pupils or staff.
Husband/wife/partner have equal validity.
My lesbian friend makes a point of referring to her 'partner' as her wife because marriage was denied to them for a long time. Being able to say 'my wife' matters to her.
Similarly'queer' has not been fully recaptured and is still considered derogatory and offensive by many people.
Respect and consideration has to go both ways.

I would be complaining about the teaching of queer as an uncontroversial word. Lots of especially older gay men and lesbians do not find the word acceptable.

Schools, institutions of education, objecting to the use of the English language........

Sex pronouns are used to convert data into higher value information.
"They" is used when the human is unknown, "she" is used once the sex is known so 50% of the population can be excluded.

Cisgender is imo a regressive ideology of pink = girls blue = boys. A girls school to be selling "gender", lady brain, girlie feelings or other gender ideology is imo failing girls. One of the main reasons single sex girl's education still exists is sex based discrimination. The girls will still end up facing th same sex based discrimination except it will become harder to call out.

As for objecting to recognising legal reality, words like wife/husband have important meanings.
As YetAnotherSpartacus points out marraige or remaining in a relationship not recognised by the State is a choice.
The choice should be an informed decision as the concept of legal recognition of a union between two unrelated adults is important.
If it was not people would not have spent time campaigning to have a homosexual union recognised and given the same with rights and protections as heterosexual unions. That could be one of the teaching points around removing discrimination, rather than pretending marraige does not exist.

The school may want to reconsider if their political campaigns align with real life outcomes of these theories.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Queer_theory

'According to Jay Stewart, "Queer theory and politics necessarily celebrate transgression in the form of visible difference from norms. '

'Queer theory is the lens used to explore and challenge how scholars, activists, artistic texts, and the media perpetrate gender- and sex-based binaries, and its goal is to undo hierarchies and fight against social inequalities.[15] Due to controversy about the definition of queer, including whether the word should even be defined at all or should be left deliberately open-ended, there are many disagreements and often contradictions within queer theory.[15] In fact, some queer theorists, like Berlant and Warner[16] and Butler, have warned that defining it or conceptualizing it as an academic field might only lead to its inevitable misinterpretation or destruction, since its entire purpose is to critique academia rather than become a formal academic domain itself.[17]

Fundamentally, queer theory does not construct or defend any particular identity, but instead, grounded in post-structuralism and deconstruction, it works to actively critique heteronormativity, exposing and breaking down traditional assumptions that sexual and gender identities are presumed to be heterosexual or cisgender.[3][17] '

massive overstep. they're supposed to be teaching the children a curriculum, not instructing parents what to think and say to their children in their own homes.

Aside from the obvious, how is this school going to teach correct grammar?

Am I the only one then that uses wife to denote a female married partner of another human? With my lesbian friends both are wife.
Using partner could also mean a business relationship. That could get confusing

Partner is a far more nebulous term.
I use wife the same way as you sanluca

@Cuck00soup

Aside from the obvious, how is this school going to teach correct grammar?

Theys would not be bothering to do that in the sooner to be past times.

In some quarters it is currently be championed as being "discrimination" to teach propper spelling, grammer and sentence construction. Back in real life, private educations and external supplementary teaching will continue and the "haves" will advance in academia while the "havenots" will be further disadvantaged. An underfunding for children who need extra or different ways of learning should not result in a drive for lower standards in academic achievements.
End rant...

Do complain definitely but be wary of moving schools. Many schools are peddling this nonsense but at least you have some protections in a girls' school against mixed sex facilities. Of course if you can find a girls' school without the ideology then that would be better.

@Beamur

Partner is a far more nebulous term. I use wife the same way as you sanluca

Depends, though. 'Partner' is the accurate term for a life partner or co-habiting person who isn't married. Being married is a legal status.

I mean, I don't really personally care how people refer to me all that much, it doesn't affect matters for the most part. But if it's a school it probably has legal implications, no? Especially wrt contact, parental responsibilities, etc?

You've had some good advice here in terms of making a complaint. Please do so.

If possible, please write to your MP about this too - that your school is promoting gender identity ideology and is therefore breaching its duties under DfE guidance and s406, s407 of Education Act.

How dare they tell you how you can and can't refer to your husband/wife!

I'd refer them to the Human Rights Act - Freedom of thought, conscience and religion and Freedom of expression

www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/1998/42/schedule/1/part/I/chapter/8

www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/1998/42/schedule/1/part/I/chapter/9

As for cisgender, you may get some inspiration here : www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3561017-explaining-why-cis-is-offensive

Good luck

Depends, though. 'Partner' is the accurate term for a life partner or co-habiting person who isn't married. Being married is a legal status.

'Partner' might also have a legal status if you're in a civil partnership. I refer to my significant other as my 'partner' but if we enter into a civil partnership I probably wouldn't start calling him 'civil partner' except where it's legally relevant.

Saying "I'm meeting my civil partner for lunch" just sounds odd. Maybe it will become a thing though.

In your complaint OP you could note that...

Under s. 406 of the Education Act 1996, the pursuit of partisan political activities or promotion of partisan political views are forbidden for maintained schools. ... Schools should also be aware that complaints may be made if a particular candidate (because of extreme views) was excluded while others were invited.

@Feelingoktoday

My sons school has the flag flying this week. 51 weeks of the year there is no flag!

Will they fly the Adult Human Female flag during Women's History Month for March then?

Yes I’m waiting for the women’s history month flag.

@ViaGellia

Depends, though. 'Partner' is the accurate term for a life partner or co-habiting person who isn't married. Being married is a legal status.

'Partner' might also have a legal status if you're in a civil partnership. I refer to my significant other as my 'partner' but if we enter into a civil partnership I probably wouldn't start calling him 'civil partner' except where it's legally relevant.

Saying "I'm meeting my civil partner for lunch" just sounds odd. Maybe it will become a thing though.

Yes, true. I quite like 'civil partner', actually. I think you'd meet a 'civil partner' for afternoon tea rather than lunch, and have only the posh sandwiches and best napkins.

@Feelingoktoday

Yes I’m waiting for the women’s history month flag.

We should ask for this.

Also the other protected characteristics, do they get flags/weeks/days?

Actually a week of raising awareness of/for disabled people and disability issues would be brilliant.

Flags can be a real can of worms, just wait until someone wants one that is politically sensitive!

Flags for Scottish govt buildings are strictly timetabled. It's roughly equal time given between alternate Rainbow and ones for the birthdays of the Royal Family. Oddly enough.

www.gov.scot/publications/flag-flying/

Actually a week of raising awareness of/for disabled people and disability issues would be brilliant.

Absolutely - for me diversity always used to be about access for physically disabled or neuro diverse people, it seems to have moved quite far away from what I think at least part of the original purpose was.

Buzzwords and catchphrases are doing sweet FA for real 'diversity' issues.

I don't understand a lot of the thinking behind this, but why on earth "partner" and not "spouse" if you are attempting to refer to the person you're married to without saying what sex they are?

They are quite different in law and someone could stand to e.g. lose a lot of money from a will if they had to say "partner" instead of "spouse".

I'm glad to hear you're complaining. It's really helpful for teachers who are trying to push back against this to have parents on our side.