Guardian article about body dysmorphic disorder. Oddly the don't recommend 'affirmation'

[aliasundercover]

www.theguardian.com/society/2022/jan/26/i-had-this-strong-feeling-that-my-face-was-disfigured-kitty-wallace-the-body-dysmorphic-sufferer-turned-campaigner

It's a fascinating condition and I don't think deserves any flippancy (not saying you were, OP).

The parallels are striking though.

I remember reading about it in mags in the 90s, and can't imagine how much worse the internet etc would've made it now.

I was diagnosed with it after being raped. Although with hindsight, it started with puberty but I thought it was normal to feel that way. My last psychiatrist (male) told me to stand naked in front of the mirror every morning for at least 10 minutes and tell myself how beautiful I am. On more than one occasion he stated that it was sad I couldn't see how beautiful I am and he refused at any point to let me away with any comment linked to my perception of myself. Over the years I saw multiple psychiatrists and psychologists but got zero affirmation along the way. In fact it was mostly a telling off for having a warped impression of myself, like I ticked too many boxes in their attractive column so therefore I was being stubborn/offensive for positioning myself elsewhere. I'm happier with my face/body now but it's been a long hard road with self harm, depression and suicide attempts along the way.

Yes I now know I had this, started late childhood and early teens. I know exactly which regular comments about my face triggered it, it's linked to very bad Kp. I also remember that blonde girls in adverts and cartoons, Barbie etc, were seen as the "better" type of girl. I didn't have blonde hair.

I don't have the other anxieties mentioned, eg ocd, but I was a very conscientious person.

I remember not being able to walk down a high st at university without pretending to want to try on some clothes so I could "check" my face in the mirror of a changing room. I wear make up as a control method.

I don't know why there aren't more links made to body dysmorphia and trans identities , especially the need to control how you look.

There's obviously cross overs to anorexia too which is more around anxiety and need for control.

Anxiety and resulting need for control are very human experiences but are definitely more common in people on the autistic spectrum.

DD had a bf with this. He was always at the gym building himself up when he was pretty massive already. Affirmation was not used. Instead things like "you did your legs y'day so you don't need to walk 20 miles today" etc. Reason and logic. Not that it was working too brilliantly; his counsellor wasn't great and he could have done with heavier psychological help imo, but what do I knoW.

What a heartbreaking article - and yet also life-affirming and positive.

One of the biggest problems, she says, is that BDD typically manifests in late childhood or early adolescence, around the time of puberty when many people are going through emotional and physical upheavals.

In common with so many other psychological and behavioural problems relating to people's sense of self, of how they fit in society, and of how powerless they feel.

Have a read of this. It's a very long but absolutely essential article about bdd from 2000. It opens with this:

"In January [2000] British newspapers began running articles about Robert Smith, a surgeon at Falkirk and District Royal Infirmary, in Scotland. Smith had amputated the legs of two patients at their request, and he was planning to carry out a third amputation when the trust that runs his hospital stopped him. These patients were not physically sick. Their legs did not need to be amputated for any medical reason. Nor were they incompetent, according to the psychiatrists who examined them. They simply wanted to have their legs cut off."

www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2000/12/a-new-way-to-be-mad/304671/

There's this bbc Horizon documentary from about the same time: Complete Obsession.

It's a weird url so you can search yourself using the above keywords. I've watched it without issue

m.ok.ru/video/281953962725

When I was a kid in the 80s having watchful waiting therapy I was in a group therapy with other bdd suffers, some had classic bdd like the woman in this article others had anorexia or bulimia and the rest of us had what would now be referred to as gender dysphoria it was explained to us that they were all forms of bdd and had very similar psychological treatments and that they only have different names to describe the way it manifests.
I have not and never will understand why trained medical professionals have allowed 1 particular group of patients to demand that not only dictate their treatment but that everyone must participate in their delusion

everyone must participate in their delusion

I've always thought it's the same as someone with an eating disorder. It would be downright cruel to join in with their false image of themselves. To truly 'be kind' is not to play along but to try and help even if the messenger gets shot.