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“I started watching porn when I was like 11,” she told Stern. “I was an advocate and I thought I was one of the guys and would talk about it and think I was really cool for not having a problem with it and not seeing why it was ‘bad,’ you know?”
(continues)
“I think it really destroyed my brain, and I feel incredibly devastated that I was exposed to so much porn. I think that I had sleep paralysis and almost night terrors and nightmares because of it. I think that’s how they started because I would watch abusive BDSM and that’s what I thought was attractive. It got to a point where I couldn’t watch anything else—unless it was violent, I didn’t think it was attractive.”
Like so many of her peers, Eilish’s understanding of sex and her first sexual experiences were heavily influenced by porn. She says that she couldn’t speak up about not wanting to do certain things because she felt pressure to perform.
“I was a virgin, I had never done anything, and so it led to problems where the first few times I had sex,”she explained, “I was not saying no to things that were not good. It’s because I thought that was what I was supposed to be attracted to.”
Before moving on to discussing her dating life, Eilish talked more about the unrealistic and unattainable standards porn influences in our culture.
“I am so angry that porn is so loved and I’m so angry at myself for thinking it was okay. The way that vaginas look in porn is f—ing crazy, no vaginas look like that, women’s bodies don’t look like that, we don’t [orgasm] like that, and we don’t f—ing enjoy things that are what it looks like people are enjoying.”
You can read more and watch the interview here:
fightthenewdrug.org/billie-eilish-watching-porn-at-11-she-shares-impacts-it-had-on-her