Boy in girls changing rooms

[MissFenella]

DD year 7 has told me there is a boy using their changing rooms for PE. She has been trying to swerve PE the last few weeks and I asked her why.

I am going to pop an email to school pointing out single sex exemptions and the importance of the girls welfare.

Has anyone done similar or have a link to a suitable template etc. Just want to get my facts right without being overly emotive.

TIA

Safe Schools Alliance has this:

go.mumsnet.com/?xs=1&id=470X1554755&url=safeschoolsallianceuk.net/wp-content/uploads/2019/08/singlesextoiletsfactsheet.pdf

Email school quoting the relevant law. Talk about safeguarding, dignity and privacy for the girls. Get support from other parents. Get a meeting with the Head. Do all this as a starting point and then escalate as necessary using school complaints procedures and contacting school governors.

just to finish this up - he shouldnt have been in the changing room. Separate private accommodation has been made available to him and he doesnt have a choice about using that or not.

So resolved perfectly, quickly with no fuss or drama. Gives me hope for common sense!

Very glad to read that, @MissFenella. Thanks for coming back and letting us know.

Well done. No fuss or drama needed, excellent outcome.

great update!

I'd be concerned that your daughter is being unwillingly coerced into some very passive ideas about her right to boundaries and privacy.

I’m very concerned that ALL girls are being coerced in this way.

Not only that but our children’s experience of life is being diminished and restricted further on top of how hard things are for women and girls already.

It shocks me so much. Imagine someone telling you in the year 2000 there would be men allowed in women’s toilets and spaces in 2022 and it was bought in with no discussion and everyone would be too afraid to complain about it and maybe under threat if they did so.

Where are all the people who should be protecting women and girls? Where are they? The politicians, our government, the police... even M&S changing rooms.

They are standing idly by waving their rainbow flags.

If you are able to OP can I suggest you write to Lord Lucas and Baroness Nichols to record what happened? You could could your MP too to make them aware.

Sounds like it was a textbook case of being dealt with swiftly with everyone's best interests at heart. Well done!

Well done op.

@MissFenella

just to finish this up - he shouldnt have been in the changing room. Separate private accommodation has been made available to him and he doesnt have a choice about using that or not.

So resolved perfectly, quickly with no fuss or drama. Gives me hope for common sense!

Very glad it's fixed from the perspective of the girls and that you only had to talk to them calmly and sense prevailed.

Worrying that he "shouldn't have been in the changing room" but no teacher realised. Did they have an explanation for that or a plan to safeguard the girls by ensuring it didn't happen again?

Also a little worrying if the "no choice" means they aren't giving him the choice to change in the boys if he wishes. As denying him access to the correct sex changing room because of his gender identity is illegal discrimination and them not realising that suggests they don't understand the law and are liable to change with the winds if someone isn't happy with the new arrangement.

Phew. I know he’s just a child but so very entitled of that boy to have been told you can use these separate changerooms but not the girls and think I deserve to use the girls and go in anyway.

It shocks me so much. Imagine someone telling you in the year 2000 there would be men allowed in women’s toilets and spaces in 2022 and it was bought in with no discussion and everyone would be too afraid to complain about it and maybe under threat if they did so.

This. Its unbelievable isn't it?

And sending rapists to women's prisons and telling rape survivors to reframe their trauma to agree men aren't men.

everyone would be too afraid to complain about it and maybe under threat if they did so

Awful, woman hating stuff.

Well done OP. This is what happens when parents stand up for the rights of our daughters. This awful, woman hating stuff will continue in schools until parents speak out and insist that girls are allowed to undress etc without men and boys being present.

Have you checked their policies to make sure that they're not unthinkingly influenced by the toxic Stonewall ?

That is great news OP.

Congratulations @MissFenella Glad it's been sorted.

Although am I a horrible child-hating cynic to think that the boy made a "mistake" about changing rooms "accidentally on purpose"? Year 7 is about the age when naked bodies become suggestive ...?

I suspect the boy had been told by online supporters that he had a right to use the girls and it was discriminatory and transphobic if they were given privacy or allowed boundaries.

Not read the whole thread.
I heard rumours of a male pupil using the female facilities at our secondary school. He has been wearing a skirt since September.
I copied Safe Schools Alliance in and they gave me good feedback on replies. I also copied Ofsted I and made it a formal complaint to ensure they answered me. I put safeguarding in the subject header. Mention girls who have or are being abused and religion (girls who are Jewish or Muslim).
I posed it as a question, but make sure you use biological sex as I had to ask for further clarification as I used girl and boy.
Schools should not be allowing this. Unfortunately there is some bad guidance out there e.g NSPCC who say a child can choose which facilities to use.

Good luck.