Born in the wrong body

[jessmin]

My DS has used this phrase in relation to people who want to change gender identity. He has been taught at school as part of RSE that “it is possible for someone to change their gender identity if they really really believe they were born in the wrong body”. His words.

I've emailed the head teacher asking to discuss and am reviewing all the guidance from safe schools alliance.

My biggest concern is that I don't know what on earth he has been taught. Their online curriculum map and lesson plan did not mention gender identity or ideology at all. I didn't question the content because I naively thought they were not going there yet. It's Yr4. I now want to review all the material and teaching guidance notes.

I'm also concerned about him having the phrase 'born in the wrong body'. Can you help me explain why it's wrong to use that term? I'm not sure I'm articulate enough to get it across when challenged.

1. It's saying trans people's bodies are "wrong". It's incredibly offensive.
2. It assumes that every soul/ personality etc has some "correct" body that should be matched to it, which is obviously untrue. It implies that people with disabilities etc are in the "right" body, which to me brings to mind the story of vile comments Glen Hoddle made back in the day.

It's just based on a load of wacky or false assumptions.

Year 4 you say?

Holy shit

I should have been born in the body of a supermodel and I want all the plastic surgery available to make this happen. Being facetious aside, we should be teaching kids to accept and love their healthy bodies, not seek to change them through drugs or surgery. Peddling the idea that your body isn't good enough is harmful to impressionable kids (and adults, for that matter).

Until 24 September 2020, the trans activist line was that children are born in the wrong body. But then Mermaids did this screeching U-turn:

twitter.com/Mermaids_Gender/status/1309192315467116547

mermaidsuk.org.uk/news/do-you-still-use-the-phrase-born-in-the-wrong-body/

The reason was that shortly beforehand the DoE had released guidance expressly prohibiting teaching materials stating these kinds of concepts:

www.gov.uk/guidance/plan-your-relationships-sex-and-health-curriculum

We are aware that topics involving gender and biological sex can be complex and sensitive matters to navigate. You should not reinforce harmful stereotypes, for instance by suggesting that children might be a different gender based on their personality and interests or the clothes they prefer to wear. Resources used in teaching about this topic must always be age-appropriate and evidence based. Materials which suggest that non-conformity to gender stereotypes should be seen as synonymous with having a different gender identity should not be used and you should not work with external agencies or organisations that produce such material. While teachers should not suggest to a child that their non-compliance with gender stereotypes means that either their personality or their body is wrong and in need of changing, teachers should always seek to treat individual students with sympathy and support.

I remember a few decades ago there was a teenager who's dream it was to be an air hostess, but she wasn't tall enough. So she had surgery where her leg bones were cut and the surrounding tissue gradually stretched. It involved a lot of metal pins.
Wrong body? No! Wrong job! Sometimes people just need to be told they can't have everything they want.......

This must be it, I thought it was longer ago...
news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/1147874.stm

I've actually just changed my username and prepared to actually post in this forum (long term lurker) for the first time to ask advice on almost exactly the same issue. DS is also in Yr 4 and has come home from school telling me that he has learned about gender identity and biological sex today. He is hazy on the details so I have no idea what he's actually been taught but he said the teacher told him there are different genders and it's fine to change them. Stupidly, I didn't think they would introduce the subject so young. I was preparing for this to be a high school issue.

The curriculum overview sent out at the beginning of the year had a whole section on PHSRE and said we could withdraw our child if we were uncomfortable with any of the aspects mentioned. Gender identity was not one of them. Right now, I feel very much like I've given parental consent under false pretences, but have no idea how to broach this with the school or even other parents.

Is the Safe Schools Alliance stuff the best place to start?

Ask what such a phrase might imply for someone born with disabilities or a condition that coukd leas to disability? Appalling as if you can’t fix your ‘wrong body’ then you are doubly stuffed.

That's an awful story about the girl who had her legs stretched. It sounds like she made her legs dangerously fragile. I suppose it was about more than the job though - there was something about other children being cruel.

Stupidly, I didn't think they would introduce the subject so young
You weren’t stupid. Sounds like the school is being stupid if anything.

Thank goodness this wasn't happening when my kids were in junior school. I think people seriously need to think about 'voting with their feet' and withdrawing their children from Gender Identity Ideology. If enough parents do this, the schools will have to rethink what they are 'pushing.'

Many of the materials used probably breach the update in guidelines in England and Wales.

Definitely contact the schools who are continuing this, they have not updated their course materials. It was pretty clear that telling students they could be born in the wrong body was against last year's updated guidance.

For the very reason it was causing children distress and confusion.

Erm, has anyone spoken to the SENDCo about this and how they plan to avoid really distressing disabled pupils? Because they're going to hear all this and they won't get to identify into something happier.

Thanks everyone for all the replies and I have a great starting point for the discussion now.

@sunkendreams I'm so with you right now. My DS is yr 5 now and this was taught in the last half term of yr4, so June '21. I was so careful to review the material before hand, specifically looking out for this kind of batshittery. I feel let down and as though they have deliberately concealed this from me. It was just an offhand comment from me that led to DS saying this, otherwise I would never have known. And he'd have never have known any different.

I'm a disabled mum, I have a genetic condition and it's very likely my son has it too. I've literally spent his whole life very delicately talking about the subject of our bodies and how sometimes they don't work the way they should, we can't change them but we can change our surroundings to make life easier, are in control of how we feel about our bodies etc. I grew up with the 90's mantra 'love the skin you're in' (or was it just a good advertising slogan?).

I grew up with the 90's mantra 'love the skin you're in' (or was it just a good advertising slogan?

Rachel Rooney did her nice little "My Body Is Me" children's book.

That wasn't an advertising slogan - it was "terrorist propaganda" and "anti-trans extremism", apparently.

A quick link to some of the Safe Schools Alliance factsheets. It's only by challenging schools about this misinformation that this will ever stop.

safeschoolsallianceuk.net/resources-2/factsheets/

I would send the school the government's DfE guidance from September 2021 that a PP linked to, OP.

If you didn't have that to fall back on, then there's safe schools alliance, etc - but no need for that when it looks like the school isn't following the latest government guidance anyway (which they obviously should).

Also, I'd point out that it's potentially indirect discrimination under the Equality Act 2010 on the basis that a disabled child (or child of a disabled parent) is far more significantly disadvantaged by that teaching than a child without a disability (or parent with a disability) being taught the same material.

Good advice by LonginesPrime. Anything by Safe Schools Alliance UK runs the risk of being dismissed as transphobic. It doesn't matter what the truth is, there are a lot of brainwashed teachers out there.

Also, the potentially indirect discrimination point is an excellent add-on. Any school would be utterly foolish not to wake up when seeing that in writing.

'Love the skin you are in' was apparently an Oil of Olay slogan but it is similar to a well known French expression 'to feel good in one's skin'

www.lawlessfrench.com/expressions/bien-dans-sa-peau/

[quote ArtemesiaK]This must be it, I thought it was longer ago...
news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/1147874.stm[/quote]
I am a similar age to her and around the time she was in the news I badly broke my leg and experienced lots of complications. This injury required 4 operations, external fixation, and a very long recovery to fix.

I remember at the time seeing her in the news and feeling so angry that someone would choose to inflict that hell on themselves, silly girl.

Just like the many trans individuals chasing surgery that girl needed counseling not surgery.

I remember at the time seeing her in the news and feeling so angry that someone would choose to inflict that hell on themselves, silly girl

I hardly think it's the child's fault -she was 15 at the time and from the difference between the doctor's and the mother's accounts of the need for surgery, it sounds like she might have been coached through it by an adult.

@jessmin

My DS has used this phrase in relation to people who want to change gender identity. He has been taught at school as part of RSE that “it is possible for someone to change their gender identity if they really really believe they were born in the wrong body”. His words.

I've emailed the head teacher asking to discuss and am reviewing all the guidance from safe schools alliance.

My biggest concern is that I don't know what on earth he has been taught. Their online curriculum map and lesson plan did not mention gender identity or ideology at all. I didn't question the content because I naively thought they were not going there yet. It's Yr4. I now want to review all the material and teaching guidance notes.

I'm also concerned about him having the phrase 'born in the wrong body'. Can you help me explain why it's wrong to use that term? I'm not sure I'm articulate enough to get it across when challenged.

It’s wrong for school to use it because the d of e guidance says it’s wrong for them to use it. You don’t even need to argue a case why it’s wrong because it’s in the guidance update that schools had to adopt by sept 2020.

It’s in the d of e plan your relationships, sex and health education curriculum document. Just download it, print off and go into school.

I’d ask for the full curriculum plan for pshe and any/all resources they plan to use also. Be ready to use grievance procedure/escalate to ofsted if needed.

(As a side note- times article with ofsted says 50% of outstanding schools will be loosing that rating in up coming inspections)

(As a side note- times article with ofsted says 50% of outstanding schools will be loosing that rating in up coming inspections)

I wondered how Ofsted could possibly know this in advance of actually inspecting the schools, unless the criteria for outstanding have changed massively.

I was secretly hoping they might be planning on stamping out 'gender woo'.

@dotoallasyouwouldbedoneby

(As a side note- times article with ofsted says 50% of outstanding schools will be loosing that rating in up coming inspections)

I wondered how Ofsted could possibly know this in advance of actually inspecting the schools, unless the criteria for outstanding have changed massively.

I was secretly hoping they might be planning on stamping out 'gender woo'.

I don’t know, but it was in the times, came up on the news but on iPhone.

The article said over 4000 secondaries had outstanding & they expected only half to retain that. That most would drop down to good but some to inadequate. They vaguely referenced the emotional upheaval of lockdown and at the end it referenced the peer on peer abuse report. So I expect the pshe update links into that. Ofsted update how they assess this when d of e updated guidance. But it’s vague and complex how they assess it as it comes under several areas they assess, including the ones that cause serious failures, like meeting social, cultural, moral etc needs of pupils.

Ofsted left stonewall diversity champion scheme earlier this year. The pshe guidance gets reviewed every three years, started last yr, then we got a new education minister, now telegraph are reporting that d of e will be one of the next in the list of those leaving sw, Ed minister is alive to the problems with sw.

So I’d think it’s likely the guidance will be further updated/enforced.

The guidance is still awful. It says in one part to not teach kids are born in wrong body, not reinforce stereotypes. Then in another it says schools must teach with the law in mind with regard to -lists a bunch of things, including gender ideology, which we know isn’t in any law.

So I suspect you’re right. That Ofsted will harshly mark schools because they know there’s serious problems with this. Then after a bit of distance-so they can avoid their blame in it all- d of e will tighten up guidance and de stonewall more, make it clearer for schools so Ofsted can tighten up their criteria again.

Then all anyone will notice is how they fixed this problem in schools. They will be removed enough to avoid all accountability themselves.