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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Please help with secondary school decision

11 replies

BloodinGutters · 26/10/2021 17:15

I need help to choose between two and would appreciate the input of women here on the stonewall issue. My daughter has autism.

First school is not a sw diversity champions member, but old newsletters show they have been recently. However they don’t have a pshe policy on their website at all and googling the name of the school plus pshe policy brings up one up to date one with proposed policy on it and among other problematic outside organisations has stonewall listed as visiting. They also have stonewall visiting in the anti bullying policy to talk about homophobia and transphobia. There other policies seem somewhat stonewalled- gender instead of sex. I asked the dsl about this when visiting (she’s also the sendco). She was v indignant to be asked at all and claimed the policy didn’t say that, her name is on it, albeit under several other teachers, so maybe she wasn’t the main writer. She also claimed to have no understanding of how stonewall could possibly be a safeguarding risk. Had never heard of ssa or tt and didn’t believe that sw campaign to get rid of single sex exemptions and define homosexuality as same gender attracted. When I showed her the proof she wasn’t at all shocked -so I don’t believe she didn’t know tbh- and said I could talk to head about it. Stonewall lunch time club advertised all over school. (It has few extra curricular clubs over all, so feels like a large priority given to stonewall). Toilets single sex or unisex that meet building regulations.

Second school is a member of stonewall diversity champions. Only signed up a couple of years ago. Their pshe policy is flawless, and links the d of guidance and has a parent feed back forum on line that references the d of e guidance as compulsory. And explains to parents school must follow this. Ofsted were in recently and have praised their pshe policy especially. All policies are flawless, no stonewalling anywhere (I’ve read every one) equality law is represented accurately. Safeguarding policy is exceptional, very long and detailed but easy to read and understand. Has a peer on peer abuse policy that acknowledges that it’s mostly boys on girls. Was told they don’t give out full lesson plans for pshe but would tell everyone the organisations that come in and assured me they are always checked for working together compliance. Didn’t seem put out when I said I’d need proof. Their list of governors includes a lot of science backgrounds and safeguarding backgrounds, especially female governors. I did tell them I would be giving them information about the harm of stonewall in schools and didn’t get a horrified reaction and it seemed like they thought ofsted leaving sw dc was interesting. The only part of school it looks like stonewall has infiltrated is the online section about lgbt+ club, which no doubt means the lunch time club also. All assigned at birth and so on. But no posters etc as we went round, and school has tones of other clubs, so it doesn’t feel like it’s been given a large space proportionaly, if that makes sense. Toilets single sex or unisex that meets building regulations act.

There’s a bunch of other factors in decision, but they sort of balance out & both are outstanding schools.

So if this was your daughter with autism which would you feel more comfortable about.

I know that’s not the same as knowing all the other criteria we are weighing these up on, but based on the stonewall issue which would you choose. Ty!

OP posts:
LobsterNapkin · 26/10/2021 17:27

Probably the second. They seem much more likely to be open to issues and discussion.

I'm extremely wary of those kinds of clubs though, I know it sounds crazy but in my experience it is very easy for something akin to radicalization to happen there, including from other kids. Leadership can have it's own agenda, and there isn't much transparency for parents.

But since they both have such a club, that's not much help.

BloodinGutters · 26/10/2021 17:31

Every secondary school here has such a club.

OP posts:
MrsOvertonsWindow · 26/10/2021 17:50

It's a nightmare isn't it BloodinGutters ? Especially after today's revelations about Stonewall's advocacy for 'conversion therapy for lesbians' My instinct would be to go for the school with the good safeguarding and where the staff are not reactive and defensive about parents asking questions.
BUT I would be challenging the school about their LGBT group? What safeguards do they have in place? How is it monitored? Do staff attend and if so which staff? Is it mixed age? If so. how do they ensure the subject matters are age appropriate for all children? What are the rules / boundaries or is it a free for all? ... just as a start.

notocovid · 26/10/2021 18:35

2nd one.

FrancescaContini · 26/10/2021 18:42

Neither. The second one uses the phrase “assigned at birth” which means there’s a degree of promoting this pernicious ideology.

Are there no other schools?

BloodinGutters · 26/10/2021 19:05

The only other one I posted their lgbt+ policy recently then sent to Safe Schools Alliance. It’s a thousand times worse.

All other schools are sw dc. And all have bloody awful policies like the above lgbt+ policy. Or would take over an hour to get to, not including rush hour. And I need to be at home for our other daughter to get her school taxi.

The second school only uses the assigned at birth in the section on the lgbt+ extra curricular club. They are very accurate in all other policies, no sw language at all throughout those policies, and I’ve read every single one, ever page on their (extensive) website, every link, every newsletter that are on line. Can find very little on the first school because their website is very poor, but what there is reads fairly stonewalled even if they are no longer sw dc.

I went through all schools locally to look at transgender issues and these two are by far the safest by a long stretch.

We are in an area of the country considered to have very good school, and I know a number of people who have used ssa with primaries here so I would expect the same trend is following through secondaries also. So I suspect this is everywhere in schools currently.

OP posts:
BloodinGutters · 26/10/2021 19:09

I would most definitely be sending emails of all the ssa/tt/bbc article etc to any school before she even starts though. And I’d be using grievance procedure if needed.

OP posts:
1Endeavour2 · 26/10/2021 19:14

The second school. Sounds like they are open to discussion.

CatChant · 26/10/2021 23:21

Hmm, what a choice. Or lack of one.

The second because they sound more open to discussion but I wouldn't be jubilant about either one. Unfortunately, Stonewall seem to have infiltrated themselves into all secondary schools, colleges and higher education.

I have warned my DC not to leave their critical thinking skills at the door.

I was educated at faith schools - the type that brooked no argument or debate - if you didn't believe you didn't belong. That made me determined my own DC would be taught in a secular environment.

And yet the atmosphere of intolerance, no debate and being required to believe six impossible things before breakfast caught up with us anyway.

TrainedByDinosaurs · 27/10/2021 08:45

The second but keep involved and consider standing as a parent governor if there’s an opening in next few years. If i was you I’d also get sex matters to send a copy of Helen Joyce’s book to the head, I’d send it now and not attach my name if I’m sending them other info.

logsonlogsoff · 27/10/2021 10:46

2nd one seems like the best choice under the circs

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