Men only spaces

[MassiveHoard]

This article makes an interesting point about the need for men only spaces (not for the purpose of holding onto the masculine power base in society) and the effect of toxic masculinity on the quality of men's relationships. I thought it was worth sharing because of the different slant on single sex spaces than is usually discussed on here.
If men's relationships with each other were better, would that help improve the safety of women and girls? And I wonder how men would feel about trans men in those spaces.
I imagine those spaces might naturally become an old fashioned boys club, used to keep women subjugated. But then how does society address toxic masculinity?

www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2021/oct/24/romantic-partner-who-needs-one-when-its-friends-who-truly-help-us-get-through-life

I knew it would be Sonia Sodha and she'd be talking a lot of sense.

I support the work of Men's Sheds and Conroy's workshops. I must admit that in the Men's Sheds piece linked I was a little about the woman who'd shoehorned herself in but claimed other women would change the dynamic (usual guff about being 'one of the boys').

He added: “This is a social place for men to relax in their own company. They don’t have to watch their Ps and Qs, they can have their own type of banter. They can talk about prostates and all sorts of health issues which they are never going to talk about in front of women.”

I'd be interested to know from the various planned academic studies if the banter is the type notorious from 'WhatsApp' groups or whether (in that case) it's more akin to being sweetie wives, and how much health chatter there is.

I would, of course, be opposed to single sex clubs where decisions are made and power resides and that can affect women so substantially by excluding them from work and other relevant opportunities.

Yes, the nature of banter is very interesting. It's key I think to creating a supportive and safe environment, whatever the setting.

If men's relationships with each other were better, would that help improve the safety of women and girls?

Not only that, it would improve the safety of everyone.

This is one of the huge things that pisses me off about the genderist movement's attack on female people's political existence.

They think it's all about an inner sense of gender ID, but what it really is is two groups of people who are excluded and put at risk by the dominant toxic and violent construction of masculinity jostling around and fighting with each other within the space that Toxic Masculinity has defined for them, that of Not-Man.

The real source of the problem is society's fucked up ideas of what it is to be a man and what men are entitled to take and do, and what's legitimate, or at least justifiable, for such men to do to male people who don't fit or female people who don't comply. That's where the violence comes from, for both female people and trans people (who can, of course, sometimes be the same person).

But that is left unchallenged and untouched, just taken as read. So it's cast as trans demands vs women's rights, just a big ol' squabble between two groups of Non-Men. The real power structure is just too big to see, too big and entrenched to go up against.

So they try to create safety and narratives for themselves in that space by redefining which bodies can have a Man and Woman mind rather than recognising it's the shape of the Man mind itself that is the false construct.

All that energy going into pushing society into believing that male people who don't fit that toxic construction of a man must actually be women, and female people who don't fit that new male-inclusive concept of a woman must actually not be women at all. All of it focused on what a woman is and turning the spotlight away from what a man is. The trans women focus on appropriating what they need to be seen as a woman and the trans men focus on getting rid of what would make them be seen as a woman.

Imagine if instead of trying to escape by redefining womanhood, those men and women had put their energy into breaking down the toxic construction of masculinity instead! Such a fucking waste. Such a fucking diversion away from genuine progress.

Heartily agree, Blibbyblobby, very well said. So, what to do?