Upset, lost and feeling hopeless - work training

[Dinosaurhearmeroar]

Hi everyone - first time poster but long time lurker. Reading your posts makes me feel less alone 💕.

I am a teacher in an all girls’ secondary school and this term have seen a huge rise in girls now wanting to be known as a different name (usually Ash - why always ash?!) and pronouns ‘he’ or ‘they’. I am an open minded person and I am finding this very uncomfortable - we are getting 12 year olds requesting name changes and we simply go along with it due to it being a protected characteristic. We do not inform the parents which again I think goes against safeguarding policy. I seem to be the only teacher who thinks this.

Today we had diversity training which I wasn’t looking forward to and I was right - lots of unsubstantiated facts about trans and mental health (no idea where they’re from or what the sample numbers were etc) and the trainer telling us that sex is between the legs (at least she got that right!) and gender is in our heads and everyone has one. Cut to me bristling. She then confused gender reassignment and gender identity when talking about the equalities act which was flat out wrong. The second trainer said that “sex was assigned at birth” and I tuned out from then. We were asked to make our curriculums more diverse - the langs department is going to allow different pronouns despite it being grammatically incorrect. The trainers also recommended stonewall’s guide to teaching lgbt in schools which showed me they were not on top of the current debate at all.

I spoke to both trainers at the end mentioned that they had a responsibility to show all the debate and that gender was a belief - I said I didn’t necessarily have one (rad fem thinking here) and the trainer balked at this, like I was an alien from outer space.

Ultimately I found the whole thing deeply upsetting and ended up crying to myself at the end, rather pathetically. Throughout the whole presentation there was not one mention of women’s rights in this diversity training. Not a one.

At least I said something but I seem to be the only one affected - another colleague thinks I’m a TERF and others simply don’t care and think it’s great and kind etc…

Just feeling sad 😔

usually Ash - why always ash?!

I just assumed they're aspiring Pokemon trainers.

If kids were choosing their own names based on cartoons in my day, we'd all have rebranded ourselves as Lion-O or Jem. Maybe the odd Penfold.

Hmm, that diversity training doesn't strike me as being particularly diverse. @Dinosaurhearmeroar, have you asked when are the specialist sessions for the other protected characteristics under the Equality Act?

As far as the social transitioning aspect goes, we discussed it a few months ago here: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/4287310-Advice-schools-socially-transitioning-children-without-parental-knowledge-or-consent
and I think there was a more recent thread from a parent that had their kid socially transitioned without their knowledge, so if someone can point you to it you may find it helpful in approaching the argument from a different angle.

As I think I said in that linked thread, personally I reckon that a kid socially transitioning without their parents' knowledge is a safeguarding issue in itself. There's a danger that they will accidentally get outed by fellow pupils outside of school, or perhaps one of the office staff phoning to check on an unexplained absence, and parents evenings are going to be an absolute minefield. Even if you've got a "legal names only" policy for reports, it's going to require a lot of double checking for inadvertent pronoun slip-ups as well. Any poor reaction from their parents is only going to be exacerbated by discovering that this was being deliberately kept from them while the whole school knew.

Rule 1 I was given in teacher training was "never tell a child you will keep a secret for them", as you may need to breach that commitment for safeguarding reasons, and having a culture of shared secrets with adults makes them vulnerable to grooming. Does the head of safeguarding advise which pupils have name-changed with parental agreement, or are you left to work that out yourself? Is this a formal policy, or just what generally happens? Are the governors aware of this? Purely from a backside covering perspective I'd be requesting written confirmation from someone more senior that this is appropriate in each case.

Well done for speaking up! I hope the safe schools guidance and other info helps. Where does ‘women love pink’ come up? I push back on that one, with my little boys I say everyone can wear pink and point to the various pink clothes I make sure they have. With adults I’m a bit more oh do they? Have you asked them all? It’s probably some psychological overhang from the days when bright colours like pink were menswear.

You are brave to have said anything.
I'm slated soon at my workplace for gender training and unconscious bias seminars and I am dreading the whole thing. I don't know how I can keep quiet, or how I can say anything. Just thinking about it makes me start to feel panicky.

Morning everyone - just an update following all your brilliant advice. I spoke to my deputy head yesterday to say how nervous the situation was making me and that I think we are going to get into legal hot water eventually. I gave her stats and figures (not too many as then they become meaningless!) and kept using the phrase “we are socially transitioning them without parental permission.” I think it went in? I also sent her the safe schools alliance guidance which is excellent so thank you for the recommendation. I told her it is a safeguarding issue and a mental health issue (told her the star that trans people who have the change of name etc don’t experience an improvement in mental health). Next stop - might get all of SLT “Trans” by Helen Joyce for Christmas…

Well done OP you may well have changed the course of these girls lives. However uncomfortable this situation has been, the fact that you've stood up means you have made an important difference. Power to your elbow and every other lurker on here doing the same thing.

Key question: Did the trainers suggest that non-conformity to gender stereotypes should be seen as synonymous with having a different gender identity?

DfE guidance
"Materials which suggest that non-conformity to gender stereotypes should be seen as synonymous with having a different gender identity should not be used and you should not work with external agencies or organisations that produce such material"

Also - be interested to know who these trainers were and what materials they used but realised this could be outing for you

might get all of SLT “Trans” by Helen Joyce for Christmas

Wow. THAT is a good idea frankly for the whole UK.

If sexmatters could arrange for teachers what they did for MPs. ... bloody hell OP well done. And just for comparison, look at the self-talk: 'Upset, lost and feeling hopeless' vs. the reality: 'Empowering, investigating and taking action'

have you asked when are the specialist sessions for the other protected characteristics under the Equality Act?

This is such an important point from GAHgamel The issues about changing sex apply to a minority of children. Disability, special needs, race etc apply to significant numbers of children. Everyone (parents and staff) should be asking leadership teams where and when are the equivalent training sessions and equal staff time being devoted to these issues.

There'll be an awkward silence .......

Well done, OP - it sounds like you've done an amazing job of putting the pertinent points across!

One thing to be aware of is that if this is the first time the Deputy Head is really thinking about this, it might take a while for it to really sink in and for all of the implications to dawn on her. So it may be that when she explains it to colleagues drunk on Stonewall, she gets shut down and ends up questioning herself too, as that's how the patriarchy obviously works.

As you're no doubt aware, it can also be very hard to be firm on these points when there are real and obviously vulnerable trans people involved, especially children, so there will likely also be an element of struggling to reconcile gender critical views with sympathy for the child's position.

Plus then, for SLT, there are all the practical considerations - if they've been allowing social transition up to now, where do they go from here in terms of existing trans children and newly-declared trans children? If they accept that social transitioning is a safeguarding issue, doesn't that place a duty on them to explain what they've done to the parents of trans children? What do they say to Ofsted and the local authority? Will it impact their own careers? They will understandably be worried about looking transphobic, damaging existing pupils' MH by changing their position, going against the cultural grain, etc.

Obviously, none of that is your problem or responsibility, and you've done amazingly well in highlighting your concerns to them. But you can see how it might seem easier to follow the party line and try to keep you quiet than to actually critically reflect on the school's practice and values.

I don't teach anymore so my experience of this is more from the corporate world, but the feedback I'll often get is "yes, I see where you're coming from, but..", (basically "I agree but my hands are tied, so shhh or you'll make it difficult for both of us"). And although I hope I'm wrong, I suspect you will have a long, exhausting road ahead of you of challenging language and assumptions and having to continue to treat pupils in a way you can see is ultimately damaging to them.

That said, I definitely feel the tide is turning now, so this dystopian nightmare won't last forever. Just hang in in there and don't lose faith - you're doing great!

have you asked when are the specialist sessions for the other protected characteristics under the Equality Act?

Perhaps the more important point is that gender identity isn't a protected characteristic under the equally act.

And also that sex, sexual orientation (not gender orientation) and gender critical beliefs actually are protected characteristics that the school is potentially breaching.

I would caution people against saying 'other protected characteristics' as it implies that Stonewall’s view of what the law should be is the actual law, and it perpetuates the idea that schools are merely trying to comply with the Equality Act. Well, they need to read the Equality Act first instead of relying on external trainers to read it for them, as they're adding words to the statute that aren't there, because these trainers get paid to tell people the law is not as simple as it looks.

What I would be asking for in terms of training to balance out bias would be for a law firm to come in and train staff on the protected characteristics in the Equality Act and use case law to guide staff on how to comply in the classroom.

Thank you, you are all such amazing women 💕

@LonginesPrime

have you asked when are the specialist sessions for the other protected characteristics under the Equality Act?

Perhaps the more important point is that gender identity isn't a protected characteristic under the equally act.

And also that sex, sexual orientation (not gender orientation) and gender critical beliefs actually are protected characteristics that the school is potentially breaching.

I would caution people against saying 'other protected characteristics' as it implies that Stonewall’s view of what the law should be is the actual law, and it perpetuates the idea that schools are merely trying to comply with the Equality Act. Well, they need to read the Equality Act first instead of relying on external trainers to read it for them, as they're adding words to the statute that aren't there, because these trainers get paid to tell people the law is not as simple as it looks.

What I would be asking for in terms of training to balance out bias would be for a law firm to come in and train staff on the protected characteristics in the Equality Act and use case law to guide staff on how to comply in the classroom.

Can I ask a question? How do you use case law as a guide for staff in the classroom? Do you mean MF?

Ty

Can I ask a question? How do you use case law as a guide for staff in the classroom? Do you mean MF?

No, I mean more generally.

I don't work in education law so I wouldn't know the specific cases (and you'd obviously want an education law specialist to do training), but I mean in terms of addressing how to treat issues involving pupils with protected characteristics that arise in schools.

I was thinking more about the previous question of "when is the school going to focus on the other protected characteristics?", so perhaps looking at examples of disability, race, religion, etc.

I think in this context, though, a discussion that includes confirmation that expressing philosophical beliefs including GC views (from the Maya Forstater case) would be helpful for teachers, as there must surely be schoolkids grassing on "transphobic" sentiment of their peers to teachers, and then teachers having to make a split-second decision on whether or not to treat that perceived transphobia as a disciplinary matter or to reassure the grass that people are entitled to express their views even if you don't agree with them.

Then the kid (or others) will argue that someone got in trouble for using a homophobic slur the other day, so how is that fair? And the teacher needs the facts in order to be able to distinguish between a view that's considered (by the courts) to be incompatible with human dignity and the fundamental rights of others, and views that may be upsetting to others but that the courts say must be tolerated in our society.

It's not right that kids be persecuted for protected characteristics under the equality act, and it's not fair on teachers in the age we're living in not to train them on how to deal with free speech in the classroom (on race, homophobia, trans issues or anything else). They need actual facts in order to apply their professional judgement as to what boundaries to set around acceptable speech in their own classrooms. How can teachers set and enforce clear boundaries for pupil behaviour if the school is telling them to ignore the law and follow Stonewall/similar guidance instead?

Should they ignore the school and follow the law? Or ignore the law and do what management say instead? Without training on the Equality Act, teachers are in an impossible position.

If I were still a teacher, I would be using the Maya Forstater case as a jumping off point to point out that it's a minefield for teachers trying to comply with the Equality Act in the classroom at the moment, and that the BBC documentary Nolan Investigates has highlighted to me the fact that we're clearly not applying the Equality Act correctly but as Stonewall, an understandably biased lobbying charity, have trained schools, regulators and the government to interpret it.

Stonewall and these trainers are trans rights activists, not legal experts, and schools and public bodies shouldn't be ignoring the Equality Act in favour of what these campaigners would like it to say.

Ty

That’s helped me clarifying thinking about a school problem.

Just wanted to give you support.

Keep going

thank you