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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

PSHE primary please help

3 replies

BulletandtheBullseye · 15/10/2021 22:58

I’ve signed up today to ask for help with this, but I’m a long time lurker and have been in the Twitter trenches on and off for several years so reasonably well versed. I’m very long winded on calm day so please please bare with me. I really need your help.

I addressed my kids (twins) primary school PSHE plans when the Department of Education released their update last year.

I was assured the school would follow it to the letter. I was assured they understood safeguarding concerns and concerns about the misuse of language for kids with autism.

I put forward suggestions for safe schools alliance, lgb alliance, transgender trend.

The plan for delivery I now have in front of me uses the terms gender identity, cis gender, agender, genderfluid and pan sexual.

In relationship education, in the same section the above terminology is listed, it also states that everyone has the right to be loved. Consenting adults have the right/freedom to love who they love, but the right to be loved sounds dangerously close to the right to have sex. Which we know is men’s right to access women’s and girls bodies.

I’m a loud mouth. I have no problem being upfront with anyone on this issue. I’ve spent my kids lives advocating for their disability needs.

(I have no job to loose, no organisations I fear for rejection from, my friends and husband agree with me. So I acknowledge it’s easier for me to be direct with school than it is for women worrying if it gets back to their job/family members)

But I’m now seething in rage at how sick it is that the people I should trust to keep my kid safe think ten year olds need taught about pansexuality and genderfluidity (my autocorrect is going pananafluid with these fictional words from the land of letserasesafeguards). Why would anyone teach primary kids they need to accept some people will have a sexual orientation that means being attracted to another persons fetish? THEY ARE TEN!!

Sex is binary, so same or opposite or both or neither attracted are the options available. Anything else is poor math and is as meaningless as an orientation that involves being attracted to candy floss.

I’m being flippant, I know. But it’s so fucking demeaning to anyone who has fought for legal rights protections for homosexuality or bisexuality, lived openly as such when that left them at risk of discrimination or attack, to have that diminished by claiming ejaculating cock tattoo orientated is the same thing.

Of course someone will tell me off for talking for lesbians who just luuuvvvv transbians and welcome them with open legs. So good of you to know my sexuality through a key board.

But in all seriousness please can you all help me get my thoughts together to succinctly and effectively word my concerns so this is corrected.

I’d especially like to be clear how this breaches the Department of Education most recent amendments to their guidelines, and safeguarding concerns about this obfuscating terminology. Reference to the needs to children with autism is welcomed as it’s in an ehcp that accurate, factual language must be used (I can’t recall the exact wording as I don’t have that document in front of me, but I can find it if it helps. Was agreed with the educational psychologist).

I have all the links from all the sites recommended here. I will be sending them if needed, as am already compiling them to start badgering secondaries once we make the final decision (in the hope we can fix these problems with those schools before the kids end up attending next year).

But right now I could really do with some of you wise women to help me articulate in sharp, short bullet points exactly how these terms breech department of education guidance and good safeguarding practice so that I don’t regress into BamBam from the flintstones, charging in like a toddler on my dinohoardingrex and whack them over the head for not seeing red safeguarding flags all over these words.

I promise in return for your very valued input I will go straight into our chosen two secondary schools and stubbornly stonewall them until they rectify their policies and lesson plans and remember that safeguarding is the priority. Always safeguarding.

(Wondering if anyone makes safeguarding earrings?)

If anyone’s made it this far I am very grateful.

OP posts:
HipTightOnions · 15/10/2021 23:10

What worked for me (eventually) was spelling out in detail where the resources my school was using were in breach of DfE guidance.

I used Transgender Trend’s excellent review of similar resources as a model.

See part 3 of the document you can download here:

www.transgendertrend.com/product/inclusive-relationships-and-sex-education-in-schools-rse/

HH76ds31 · 15/10/2021 23:21

FFS I would put the “right to be loved” in the same bin as the “right not to be offended” and the “right not to be challenged on my views”. WTF kind of corrupted thinking has got into our schools…it makes me despair for the future.

BulletandtheBullseye · 16/10/2021 00:33

I have that link hip. I have all the ssa, tt, sm, lgba links saved.

I get easily distracted in the need to collect all the information and I need to whittle it down to short but effective points that they can’t work their way out of. I need to hear how others would word it with regards to the terminology I posted and that disturbing phrase (sets off so many red flags).

I don’t want to go in and say - department of education says you can not teach born in the wrong body, and have them claim that gender identity doesn’t teach anyone’s born in the wrong body, that they just teach it’s people who feel like they want to live as the opposite ‘gender’ or something equally as wishy washy.

I need concrete explanation of exactly how their use of this is breach of guidelines and of safeguarding. In a way they can’t disagree unless they are being so deliberately obtuse it’s time for formal complaints.

If anyone can sum it up concisely I would be externally grateful.

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