Gender fluid confusion

[Mudday]

I've recently been told that I have to refer to an openly seriously 'gender fluid' person I'm meeting soon, as 'they or them'. I find this incredibly difficult simply because it confuses the hell out of my love of language, the myriad psychological implications of 'objective plural', and respect for an individual human being. Not to mention the fact that all of us, regardless of sex, are to an extent a gender fluid mix of male and female seeing as our flaming parents/creators were. I am also confused by the fact that people like JK Rowling are getting terrible hassle for defending female apparently 'binary-restricted' identity. What is going on? Everyone has the right to own their own identity, but never at the expense of another's.

Not always surely though?

How about;

Person X "Earlier, Ann said that that the sky was purple".
Person A "No she didn't!"

"No, Ann didn't do that" sounds odd.

Or have been rude all my life?

I know that she is the cat's mother and can recognise instances where names should be used but there do seem to be instances where the third person singular is more appropriate.

I've decided that 'they' is the cat's father btw given cats' sexual behaviour.

I guess it doesn't help me that the term gender fluid makes me think of jizz. I'm sorry but I can't help it.

I don’t think I’ll ever be able to unsee that.

Hey, I don't like it anymore than you do. I said I'm a woman, I never claimed to be a lady.

I guess it doesn't help me that the term gender fluid makes me think of..

....any liquid secretion associated with one sex in particular. I can think of a few.

I'm also autistic, and while I obviously have no problem with the standard commonplace use of singular they for a person of unknown ("someone left their umbrella") or unspecified ("no visitor should leave without their umbrella") sex, I have real problems using it once I know someone's sex, because it feels like lying. I experience extreme discomfort at having to speak counterfactually in front of people who know I'm speaking counterfactually. When it comes to comfort levels, you might as well tell me the correct pronoun to use for person A is a flash of my tits, and referring to them using anything other than a titflash will make them uncomfortable. What about my comfort?