Please help me articulate why I don't want to add pronouns to my email

[CharleyMarley]

Hello,

My (male) boss suggested that we should all consider adding pronouns to our email. I am against this as I think it is bad for women's rights. I don't want to have to add "she/her" to my already feminine name.

Can anyone help me succinctly articulate why this is bad for women (so that a trying to be 'woke' male boss will understand).

Thank you.

Some recent discussion here: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/4358893-sharing-pronouns

"This is not something I will be adding to my email. I do not have a gender identity and for those who believe they do have one, this policy could mean that they feel pressured to either reveal it under duress or use a pronoun they don't feel comfortable with to avoid discussion and so feel forced into 'lying' about what they feel is their identity."

Can you tell I've been thinking about what to say when it comes my way?
I'm thinking that the above can't really have any intelligent comeback. I'm stating my own position but also saying that the (genuine) people it's meant to be inclusive of could end end being made to feel worse.

I have read the other thread and, working in the NHS, I reckon this shit will be coming my way before long. I have already had some emails with preferred pronouns stated.

Quote the Maya Forstater case - there’s a legal precedent for gender critical beliefs (i.e having a grasp of biology and how the world works, which is more than can be said of your workmates by the sounds of it)

Are you trying to make a point or not have to do it yourself?

I think saying having a feminine name has hindered you in the past because people take you less seriously but if you want to disguise it you currently just use an initial and surname, which you won't be able to do if they insist on the pronouns.

If he doesn't believe you about being taken less seriously, suggest he puts she/her as his pronouns and see what happens.

I am considering two responses…

1. replying I don’t know what that means… accompanied by direct quizzical stare a la David Rose stylee

2. coming back hard line with I will not be forced to make political statements that erase my own identity in the course of my job

< strokes chin >

A worker drawing attention to their sex in a work place is disadvantageous to women OP:

www.newsweek.com/male-and-female-coworkers-switched-email-signatures-faced-sexism-566507

You might get the response "well, your name gives the game away in any case" but there's the initials point above but also that the clearer you make your sex, the more likely it will put you at a disadvantage in some way.

There are lots of arguments but this is one of the most practical and is more likely to avoid politicised discussion.

I'm going to say a flat 'no'. I'm not explaining.

Just say you haven’t decided what you are and ask how you would find out?

It goes against principle 6f of the Yogyakarta principles.

f) Ensure the right of all persons ordinarily to choose when, to whom and how to disclose information pertaining to their sexual orientation or gender identity, and protect all persons from arbitrary or unwanted disclosure, or threat of disclosure of such information by others

yogyakartaprinciples.org/principle-6/

I'm preparing for this one.

I'd love to simply say "no, thank you".

However, I will actually refuse for two reasons -

1. It is to women's disadvantage to draw attention to their femaleness at work. [I work in a male dominated profession so this will be persuasive; if challenged, I will reiterate draw attention ie I don't believe it's fully obscured otherwise, but I dont think it's helpful to shout "btw I'm female" at the end of every email I send.]

1. I think it's important we don't have a blanket policy as some people will not be ready to declare their pronouns and we shouldn't be forcing trans, non-binary or genderqueer colleagues to out themselves if they are not comfortable doing so. [I am not personally exercised by this but it's true and leaves me less open to career-limiting suspicions of transphobia.]

I am daily grateful for a small number of senior colleagues who have not yet started putting their pronouns in. The men may well be oblivious but I hope at least some of the women are making a conscious choice to resist.

"This is not something I will be adding to my email. I do not have a gender identity and for those who believe they do have one, this policy could mean that they feel pressured to either reveal it under duress or use a pronoun they don't feel comfortable with to avoid discussion and so feel forced into 'lying' about what they feel is their identity."

And

It goes against principle 6f of the Yogyakarta principles.
f) Ensure the right of all persons ordinarily to choose when, to whom and how to disclose information pertaining to their sexual orientation or gender identity, and protect all persons from arbitrary or unwanted disclosure, or threat of disclosure of such information by others

Are the winners

I think it's completely unreasonable to be required to reveal ones sex when the working world is demonstrably sexist.

Thats before we get to the fender bollix

What @nauticant said.

There was an episode of Women's Hour with evidence on this, last year maybe. If I remember correctly any initiatives that "draw more attention" to the fact someone is female meant women not only faced more sexism, but they had to give more 'headspace' at work to countering it, which in turn negatively affected their work/took them longer to do it. Sad but true.

If more men, who do not experience this sexism, are automatically putting pronouns in their emails, this would surely constitute further pressure on the women to all announce their femaleness with pronouns, lest they will stand out?

CharleyMarley, just tell your boss you've considered it carefully and prefer not to, because you don't want to place any pressure on colleagues who may feel uncertain about their gender but not feel comfortable being the only ones without pronouns in their bio.

And you could add that professional with obviously female identities are at a disadvantage. Have him look at the story of the colleagues who swapped emails as an experiment after an accidental mixup alerted them to the issue of client bias.

Why not suggest that everyone has an email that conceals their sex, like [email protected] rather than BettyJeanBloggs or BarryJohnBloggs?

Reference the email signature case above and state that there is enough workplace sexism as things stand, you've no desire to make it easier.

Alternatively, if you fancy making mischief, put your pronouns down as "he/him".

I just said I would prefer not to and that was that. I wouldn’t volunteer reasons why, no need to get into a debate (unless you want to of course).

Could you say something like:
I don't really feel connected to the concept of gender nor do I identify as gender fluid or non binary. To that end I don't really mind what pronouns people use so I could put He/Him/She/Her/They/Them but it might be easier and more accurate to not use any pronouns.

Alternatively you could put He/Him one week and She/Her the next etc....

@AnyFucker

I have read the other thread and, working in the NHS, I reckon this shit will be coming my way before long. I have already had some emails with preferred pronouns stated.

Same

leans into mic

No, thank you.

And another thing!

Stating pronouns is a political act. It's supportive of the idea of 'gender identity', which is taking a very controversial political stance and putting it into a work email is totally inappropriate.

I would no more state my political/philosphical affiliations on the subject of gender ideology than I would put my voting intentions into my signature.

It's so unprofessional, unnecessary, potentially divisive, damaging, offensive etc.

I cannot imagine many businesses going with this as a managerial decision.

Thank you all for your input. I would love to be able to say "no thank you". But my company often force us to do things and no-one ever speaks up.

My initial response was going to be "what a load of tosh" but was looking for more eloquent responses.

I will share the links above and have a conversation about it.

I'll also have a look at the other thread.

Thank you.