Pride, an older gay guys view

[lovelyjubbly10]

I’ve read a few threads about the weird things that go on at pride. Some of it is quite scary and it worries me as the G in LGBT where it’s all going.

When I was a young boy, it was tough out in the big bad world being gay. People would lose jobs, get kicked out of their home and suffer many different types of discrimination.

Pride initially started as a belligerent entity, basically a big f you to the world. It was really dangerous to attend one back then, and many people have been murdered in the process. In many ways you can draw similarities with the suffragette movement - society didn’t like the thought of women as people and certainly hated the idea of gays or lesbians as normal too.

Over the years, in many ways pride did its job. Laws were changed and public perception of gays and lesbians too. Most gay couples lead pretty boring and standard lives, and most of the public realise this now.

This has kinda left charities like Stonewall with not much to do. In the modern age being in a gay relationship is not just accepted, it’s viewed as completely boring and nothing different from straight couples getting together.

Most of my (now older) LGBT buddies don’t go to Pride anymore. It’s a young persons thing anyway and to be honest the war that we fought has been won in many ways. Pride is more an excuse for a good knees up for the younguns!

But, and it’s a full bodied round bubble but! Pride seems to have been co-opted by all kinds of crazy people, most of whom aren’t even gay or lesbian! Most gay people don’t attend pride anymore, we feel like it’s not representative of us anymore (and we’re just as scared of the weird leather/puppy people as you straight guys are).

Unfortunately, without the stewardship of the older LGBT crowd, pride is fast becoming a kinky sex thing rather than a celebration of gay couples. I’m not sure what the answer is really, perhaps pride has had its day really and needs to be stopped before its history is ruined by the weird sex crowd?

"Pride" as a concept for sexuality is a bit weird anyway. Sexuality doesn't make sense as a thing to be "proud" of, as such.

"Pride" was a counterpoint/counterweight to the shame imposed on gay people - "a big f you to the world", as you say. But with that shame now (largely) removed in the west, the pride becomes a sin, I think. (It is one of the Seven Deadly Sins for a reason).

Pride parades kind of have to become more shocking to give themselves a reason to exist - to try to get some opposition to try to justify the parade - to keep up the "f you". It's not a healthy dynamic.

I recently saw this dredged up from The Onion archives from 2001 - the pattern was spotted some time ago, but now it's everywhere.

Gay-Pride Parade Sets Mainstream Acceptance Of Gays Back 50 Years

"I knew it. I said we needed 100 dancers on the 'Show Us Your Ass' float, but everybody insisted that 50 would be enough," said Lady Labia, spokesperson for LAGALABATATA. "Next year, we're really going to give those breeders something to look at."

It was really dangerous to attend one back then, and many people have been murdered in the process

Murdered at Pride events in the UK? I've never heard of this and can't find anything about it after a few searches. Is there a link to this history, please as it's very disturbing if this has been concealed.

I'd agree that Pride is a very commercial event and it is unlikely to stop because of that.

I can quite understand why gays and lesbians would feel unwelcome at a Pride march. The whole thing has been hijacked by a combination of transgender activists and leather/rubber/animal fetishists.
The two ideologies are totally incompatible.
You, as a gay man, are same sex attracted, not same “gender”.
Trans ideology is homophobic, in that it tries to insist you include people with female genitals in your dating pool, as long as they identify as men. Your refusal gets you vilified as transphobic.
It is even worse for lesbians. There are harrowing accounts online by young lesbians who have been gaslit, browbeaten and coerced into sex with penis bearing transwomen, realising afterwards that it was in fact rape.

Stonewall has abandoned you to pursue its new trans income stream - alienating even its own founders.

Maybe the LGB Alliance needs to organise its own separate events, free from both homophobia and misogyny?

It’s become NY st Patrick’s day parade and mardi Gras rolled into one - on steroids - for... straight people.

Unfortunately, like many things it has been taken over by a bunch of glittery narcissists. Also straight people who call themselves queer to seem more interesting.

The younger generation are incredibly attention seeking. I don't know what the answer is. Ordinarily I would say ignore it, but they seem hell bent on having laws changed to suit their self-absorption.

My daughter (straight with L and G friends) always loved and looked froward to Pride London. She was hoping to take her teenage daughter this year, but thank goodness it was cancelled as I don't think it would have been the happy event of former years.....

I was talking to an older gay man a few years back, who said essentially the same. Ie. pride as served its purpose, and be wouldn’t go again.

This has kinda left charities like Stonewall with not much to do. In the modern age being in a gay relationship is not just accepted, it’s viewed as completely boring and nothing different from straight couples getting together.

Stonewall still had plenty to do. There are 69 countries which still have laws criminalising homosexuality. There are many countries, even within Europe where homosexuality, while not illegal, is still far from equal. As far as I'm aware, even in the west, lesbian, gay and bisexual people still have higher rates of mental illness and substance abuse. There are still people, even in liberal countries in 2021 who's families do not accept their sexuality. Who need support and a community to help them come to terms with that rejection and, especially if young, practical help.

The main fights were won. But the world isn't a utopia of equality for all people with minority sexualities. And it would have been nice for Pride to have continued as a place where people could celebrate their current freedoms and those who struggled to achieve them. To advocate for their counterparts in other parts of the world to have the same. A place for people to feel like they belong. A place, where even if it's temporary, it feels completely safe to demonstrate physical affection with your partner. A place where children can see same sex couples as normal because not all children grow up with same sex family members/family friends. Maybe even some bisexual people in heterosexual long-term monogamous relationships need a day to reconnect with all of their sexuality. (I know this last one can be contentious and divide opinions.)

Neither Stonewall nor Pride needed to be done. Neither Stonewall nor Pride needed to go off on a bizarre, acceptance without exception of not just "all gender identities" but every last one of the asexual-demiromantic-pan's people, tangent either. They could have just acknowledged that they'd succeeded in their biggest goals but wanted to still safeguard and hopefully help lead the way for those still struggling.

Fwiw, as an outsider, who is young so never knew the 'old' pride, pride these days looks nothing but a party, predominantly a fetish fest.

Well, from an old-ish straight lass’s perspective, I’d suggest that Pride probably still has a place given that being lesbian or gay is still very dangerous in some parts of the world so there is still a statement to be made about that. I’ve nowt against kink personally, but not sure I’d want to air it in public. Each to their own and all that!

@NecessaryScene

"Pride" as a concept for sexuality is a bit weird anyway. Sexuality doesn't make sense as a thing to be "proud" of, as such.

"Pride" was a counterpoint/counterweight to the shame imposed on gay people - "a big f you to the world", as you say. But with that shame now (largely) removed in the west, the pride becomes a sin, I think. (It is one of the Seven Deadly Sins for a reason).

Pride parades kind of have to become more shocking to give themselves a reason to exist - to try to get some opposition to try to justify the parade - to keep up the "f you". It's not a healthy dynamic.

I recently saw this dredged up from The Onion archives from 2001 - the pattern was spotted some time ago, but now it's everywhere.

Gay-Pride Parade Sets Mainstream Acceptance Of Gays Back 50 Years

"I knew it. I said we needed 100 dancers on the 'Show Us Your Ass' float, but everybody insisted that 50 would be enough," said Lady Labia, spokesperson for LAGALABATATA. "Next year, we're really going to give those breeders something to look at."

God I love The Onion. That's spot on.

I’m still trying to work out why the T has been added to the end of LGB when these are about who you sleep with / find attractive, and the T is about who you feel you are but apparently that makes me transphobic?!

This is something I’ve wondered about. If I was only looking on here, or on Twitter, I’d believe Pride was now almost entirely given over to those with kinks and fetishes. But until Covid, I know that a lesbian friend posted each year about Pride, including photographs of the friends she would be attending with. She always seemed very excited about it.

So for people who have attended or are still attending, is there a big lesbian, gay, bi and trans crowd, with a few blatantly sexual (inappropriate for public) attendees, who you can avoid if that’s not for you (though obviously this could make it inappropriate for children or as a spectator event). Or is it now majority kink and fetish, so in your face that it can’t be ignored? Or does it depend which one you go to?

I ask partly because my daughter is a young lesbian and I know she and some friends were hoping to attend some Pride events. It’s entirely up to her. She’s a young adult, so not my business, but I have been wondering what she will encounter if she does.

I ask partly because my daughter is a young lesbian and I know she and some friends were hoping to attend some Pride events. It’s entirely up to her. She’s a young adult, so not my business, but I have been wondering what she will encounter if she does.

It will depend. I've never witnessed any kink at the Pride events I've gone to. There is some drag at my local one but even that is more like men in costumes of female characters like Elsa and Maleficent, which I'm not really sure is drag as opposed to just taking the opportunity for dressing up as a character you admire who happens to be the opposite sex.

Tbh, I've only been to the family events. It's mainly just a parade followed by music and kids games and water sports (boat races and zorbing, no-one gets pissed on) in a riverside park. I'm not exactly sure where the funding is coming from but the bouncy castles and water sports tend to be free to the user, so it's actually a great event to take kids to. The atmosphere is nice, there is some alcohol consumption but it doesn't feel excessive. I've always left by late afternoon, so I don't know what ends up happening at the evening/night events.

now majority kink and fetish, so in your face that it can’t be ignored? Or does it depend which one you go to?

There were threads here from some of the pre-COVID ones where children were invited into puppy play tents and to be on top of men, in costume, who were clearly aroused.

There were reports from people who were sitting in family restaurants and people from Pride came in wearing full fetish regalia. The BBC has been selective about their photographs for some time (I'm sure many of us recall the 3 'little girls').

It had served its purpose - legally women have fewer rights on the basis of their sex than gay/bisexual individuals or couples and they don’t have the benefit of the police as their personal attack dogs if someone attacks them/insults them in the basis of their sex.

Pride is all just a commercialised party these days.

@Adarajames

I’m still trying to work out why the T has been added to the end of LGB when these are about who you sleep with / find attractive, and the T is about who you feel you are but apparently that makes me transphobic?!

I would argue that the T was added when Stonewall received a grant from the Arcus Foundation in 2015. That's when it all went a bit pear shaped.

Neither Stonewall nor Pride needed to be done. Neither Stonewall nor Pride needed to go off on a bizarre, acceptance without exception of not just "all gender identities" but every last one of the asexual-demiromantic-pan's people, tangent either. They could have just acknowledged that they'd succeeded in their biggest goals but wanted to still safeguard and hopefully help lead the way for those still struggling.

While I absolutely agree, the reality is that adopting the trans cause has made Stonewall a lot of money. It's given them a new way to generate revenue. They now 're-educate' many workplaces and public organisations into the indoctrination of gender ideology, and charge a hefty fee for the privilege .