Are any schools getting the trans issue right?

[rhinowars]

I have sent my kids' secondary school the Transgender Trend schools toolkit as the they are in the process of putting together a transgender policy. The school has told me that they think the Transgender Trend info is one-sided, and seemed to particularly object to the 'no child is born in the wrong body' strapline on the website.

I understand the school has pressures coming from all sides, including parents, the local authority, and the kids themselves. And that they don't want to be accused of discriminating against the trans kids at the school - of whom there are many.

But I have so many concerns, not least the issue of social contagion (sooo many kids now identifying as trans). I fear that, by trying to support trans kids (and trying to avoid being accused of discrimination), the school is normalising the idea that gender is just a feeling, that anyone who doesn't fit certain gender stereotypes is probably transgender, etc etc.

I have asked for more info on how they teach and talk about gender. At the moment, I don't feel like they're promoting a balanced view. Given all the nonsense on social media, I would want the school try to counter this by encouraging some critical thinking.

Does anyone know of a school with a policy/approach that promotes this balance, rather than being too timid to tackle the issues?

Look at Bayswater support. They have a lot of useful materials and advice.

In particular, the view of experts is that 'watchful waiting' is the right approach - i.e. not dismissing a child but giving them a safe space to think, ideally with therapeutic support. 90% of teenagers return to their natal gender by the age of 21 or so, which means that schools should not be making what can be one-way decisions about transitioning.

Thanks so much. The school says they are treating each child as an individual, but in reality this means going along with what the child says - ultimately setting them on a path which is hard to go back on. I will mention the watchful waiting and will take a good look at Baywater support.

Given them this:

safeschoolsallianceuk.net/wp-content/uploads/2021/08/22Aug_Advice-note-schools-socially-transitioning.pdf

My DS13 has a trans boy in his class. The way school have dealt with explaining trans issues is to say your outside genitalia are just body bits, nothing special, and you have to get changed/toilet with other people who have the same body bits. They then said it’s how you feel inside that’s most important and if you want to be addressed with a new name, new pronouns and wear the uniform that matches how you feel inside that’s fine. I thought that was quite a nice pragmatic approach but I’ll be interested in other views.

How do they deal with “normal” sexuality?! If you’re male, don’t like bloke things, fancy girls or maybe don’t fancy anyone yet, are you made to feel “wrong”? What stereotype does someone who is transgender present as? If there is a stereotype for “man” and “woman” then they need to have one for “transman” and “transwoman” otherwise you can’t put people in their boxes.

I don’t expect you can answer, but can they not see the problems here? Why is there a sudden explosion of people, and especially young people, identifying as trans? We have a 11 year old trans boy at our school. They arrived with no discussion so the children found out from whispers in the playground and also the fact that there was a boy with no penis in the boys loo (who would make the boys feel uncomfortable by staring at them when they were peeing). He also competed in the girls races at sports day which I found flabbergasting. I appreciate that they couldn’t tell the parents due to GDPR etc, but expecting everyone to just accept it without questioning anything was really naive. Lots of the kids had completely reasonable questions which weren’t dealt with and were discouraged from being asked.

Anyway…total detail…sorry!

DD's high school is bang on imho. Watch and wait, supportive but not affirming and appropriate suggestions of referrals to MH support locally and good pastoral care. The teachers are pretty GC tbh and link their pshe care into science teaching.

DD's good mate is trans, ftm, they use the requested pronouns and name but ask that they use the same sex facilities or the option of the separate accessible facilities.

I thought DfE guidance was now that children should not be taught the “born in the wrong body” idea? Not sure if that’s just primary or also secondary. Would be worth finding out and sending them the appropriate link.

Having checked with DS13, the trans boy had to choose a gender neutral name. And within class they did discuss gender as being a social construct but the teachers said in the spirit of acceptance that if someone wants to identify more strongly with a particular gender, that’s ok.
It’s such a tricky area. And obviously if toxic stereotypes didn’t exist then it would be easier all round. And the trans boy has to use the girls toilets and changing rooms.

Such a good question rhinowars
In my experience there's a difference between supporting the child, sensitively and professionally, ensuring that they have access to appropriate pastoral support if needed, working closely with parents and making sure that the school stays in role.
IF the child needs additional support then it needs to be via a referral to the Ed Psych, CAMHS, safeguarding and any other specialist organisation qualified to work with children and adolescents. Very keen adults from political groups have no place in mentoring or teaching children other than as part of a balanced age appropriate SRE curriculum led by staff in the school.
Schools have been drowned in faux advice from these very keen adult groups - not helped by the political capture of the DfE by Stonewall etc The school's role is to support the child's intellectual, social and emotional development - not to be a cheer leader for Stonewall or any other group dealing in sexual politics. They have no role in transitioning a child or to provide a curriculum that promotes any narrow ideology. The curriculum must reflect the needs of children and not the wishes of these groups.
I'd go so far to suggest that in some schools some adults have been allowed to run amok in promoting his ideology - usually lacking in appropriate professional qualifications but who have" been on a course" and are now over eager to implement what they've been told.

Well done for being sceptical. It's only when parents insist that their children are not unthinkingly gaslit with the "women have penises" and "men can grow a cervix" (the Labour party's most recent fantasy) that some schools (not all because loads are doing a fantastic job) will stand back and look at the how they're being influenced by those who do not hold all children's interests at heart.

(sorry for the long response but I am enraged at the position that schools have been placed in)

I genuinely can’t understand how something that has the potential to cause the children involved so much pain and long term harm, that’s spread so quickly through the teenage population, has been accepted by so many adults. Adults whose jobs are so wrapped up in safeguarding too.

If anorexia or bulimia had exploded in the same way, or instances of self harm had shot up in the 1000s of %, then we’d be trying pretty damn hard to stem the social contagion causing it. We’d (society / teachers) certainly not be teaching the kids how to throw up, or giving them tips on how to access blades.

Schools must not promote 'born in the wrong body' bullshit.

It's on the Gov.uk website.

They should also be providing single SEX facilities and changing rooms.

One more thing (I was in a bit of a hurry earlier).

We have actually been there and had to ask DD's school not to affirm. The Safe Schools Alliance were also very helpful and argue that it is illegal to do so without consulting the parents. TBH I think they are desperate for a test case against a school, but no parent wants to put their child through this.

Mermaids say "No one is born in the wrong body."

mermaidsuk.org.uk/news/do-you-still-use-the-phrase-born-in-the-wrong-body/

Thank you all so much. That's crazy that even Mermaids are saying no one's born in the wrong body and yet the school are treating the statement (on the Transgender Trend website) as controversial.

I think they're out of their depth but they are trying and they're happy to discuss. So it feels like there's a chance to influence them - just not sure I can do it alone... I'm going to get in touch with Safer Schools Alliance and Bayswater group, and will track down the DfE guidance.

I agree with the parallels with anorexia above - we don't affirm a girl's belief that she's too fat, for example. I'm finding it all extremely scary. I'm going to ask the school for details of PSHE curriculum and I'm also trying to pin down what happens at the LGBT lunchtime club, which they describe as a safe space for kids to discuss issues.

My daughter's school is brilliant.

A child can dress in the uniform they feel comfortable in, call themselves the name they are comfortable with and express gender as they see fit.

But the acknowledge sex matters and that is how they segregate. There is the option to use staff Changing if you are trans but no using the opposite sex facilities.

and seemed to particularly object to the 'no child is born in the wrong body' strapline

So much for body positivity...

@Glenthebattleostrich

My daughter's school is brilliant.

A child can dress in the uniform they feel comfortable in, call themselves the name they are comfortable with and express gender as they see fit.

But the acknowledge sex matters and that is how they segregate. There is the option to use staff Changing if you are trans but no using the opposite sex facilities.

This is how it should be. Respectful but not forcing it on everyone else.

Definitely look at all the Safe Schools Alliance Factsheet. Then check all the school policies such as equality, bullying to ensure if they list the protected characteristics they use sex not gender. This is a great place to start, then move on to the bigger stuff.

My DS13 has a trans boy in his class. The way school have dealt with explaining trans issues is to say your outside genitalia are just body bits, nothing special

“nothing special”?

Do they think genitals are just decorative and that they play no part whatsoever in sexual reproduction? And these people are educators?

Yes, there are schools that get it right. However there are also parents who have well and truly bought into the trans ideology and schools are having to tread a very fine line to get it right.

Here you go op. Lots of stuff worth looking at from sex education to not allowing political lobby groups into schools.

www.gov.uk/guidance/plan-your-relationships-sex-and-health-curriculum

The school has told me that they think the Transgender Trend info is one-sided

If they think it's one-sided they recognise that there is more than one 'side'. But one-sided compared to what else? Stonewall/ Mermaids/ Allsorts? Do they recognise that these other sources are also 'one-sided'. Or do they think they're balanced?

If the one-sided Stonewall information conflicts with the 'one-sided' Transgender Trend information, how do they decide which is the right side?

Important bits. Also good to know they have the correct protected characteristics in case the school have done the sex/gender swap or gender reassignment with gender identity.

@wiltonism

One more thing (I was in a bit of a hurry earlier).

We have actually been there and had to ask DD's school not to affirm. The Safe Schools Alliance were also very helpful and argue that it is illegal to do so without consulting the parents. TBH I think they are desperate for a test case against a school, but no parent wants to put their child through this.

SSA person here. Hello everyone. Glad you found our advice helpful @wiltonism I just want to clarify our position on legal action. We think it is likely there will be a case against a school at some point. We know of several potential cases in the early stages and many of the parents who contact us go on to get legal advice. Sometimes getting a solicitor involved is enough. A solicitors letter can be a powerful thing to a school and it’s enough to get concerns taken seriously and addressed. Our position is that we will support any family who wish to pursue legal action but there are many steps before it gets to that point and parents need to go through the school complaints system first. Here is our guide to complaining. safeschoolsallianceuk.net/resources-2/factsheets/#How_to_Complain_to_your_Childs_School

On another point, any child pursuing legal action will be granted anonymity, as will their parents. That is not to minimise the enormity of taking that step. Just wanted to pick up on that point.

I am concerned about the one I work in. 2 trans members of staff who mentor the growing number of trans kids. One of those members of staff has a public Facebook page with memes about 'Terfs with no teeth'. Worrying.