Choking women, porn and Alana McLaughlin's MMA win

[ArabellaScott]

An interesting article on the imagery and prevalance of choking women. Both in porn and the recent 'rear-naked choke' hold used by McLaughlin to defeat Celine Provost in an MMA fight.

'In polite society, one does not speak about the unsettling truth that some men (and women) get off on male violence.'

nationalpost.com/opinion/barbara-kay-mma-choke-hold-highlights-the-problem-with-porn?fbclid=IwAR0ukX0oBiPU0B5eu_2bJGmk2rsOkOuBZwKuPZpHxWThyaOJJtyxPuGIgDI

Debby Herbenick, a researcher at Indiana University with a specialty in sexuality, has found that choking during sex is increasingly common among university undergraduates.

The abstract of a July 2021 study that she is the lead author on — titled, “Prevalence and characteristics of choking/strangulation during sex” — found that, among undergrads, “26.5 per cent of women, 6.6 per cent of men and 22.3 per cent of transgender and gender non-binary participants reported having been choked during their most recent sexual event. Additionally, 5.7 per cent of women, 24.8 per cent of men and 25.9 per cent of transgender and non-binary participants reported that they choked their partner at their most recent event. Choking was more prevalent among sexual minority students.”

I am devastated for the occult brain injuries these young people are acquiring and inflicting on others.

I am distressed for the risks that they run that they will kill or be killed or sustain/inflict grievous harm through their practices.

I'm unable to follow the link (out of articles) but I was unaware that Douglas Murray had commented on the choking incident in Spectator .
www.spectator.co.uk/article/where-has-the-truth-gone/amp?__twitter_impression=true

Yes. And I'm frankly scared for my daughter.

@ArabellaScott

Yes. And I'm frankly scared for my daughter.

Yes.

To be blunt, I'm afraid for friends and family who are negotiating dating and relationships after the end of a long-term relationship.

Remember the humorous way that being out of the dating scene was handled in Sleepless in Seattle ? (What's Tiramisu? - if I failed to understand other undercurrents to this scence, please, nobody enlighten me.)

A friend was recently asked out by a widower (fairly obvious that she would be his first date post his wife's death and he'd been married for around 40yrs). She is in a similar position. She initially agreed and then got cold feet because she decided that the potential benefits could not begin to weigh against the fact that she didn't want to negotiate expectations around romance or sex.

The harms of this are far reaching - especially when we're so constantly told that we are a sociable species and loneliness is actively harmful for us.

I don’t know that it’s particularly more common today than before, maybe we’re just more open about it.

There is a lot of truth in the saying that:
Everything in life is about sex, apart from sex which is about power.

Among undergrads, “26.5 per cent of women, 6.6 per cent of men and 22.3 per cent of transgender and gender non-binary participants reported having been choked during their most recent sexual event. Additionally, 5.7 per cent of women, 24.8 per cent of men and 25.9 per cent of transgender and non-binary participants reported that they choked their partner at their most recent event.

This is why reporting sex separately from gender identity is so important. I strongly suspect that the
majority of the 25.9% of trans and non-binary people who choked someone in their last sexual encounter are not of the same biological sex as the 22.3% of trans and non-binary people who were choked.

I don't know how old you are, CBUK, but this is a new thing. 100%. It might have been a 'thing' in some very niche circles in the past, but ask any woman over about maybe 35 - nobody used to do this. Not ever.

I’m over 35. Absolutely experienced this is the mid - late 90’s (my late teens and early 20’s). Multiple times. I was shagging other students and total random. A broad selection from all walks of life. Chokers from all backgrounds. Internet porn was definitely around, though maybe not quite as easy to access as it is now as no smart phones and speeds were slower.

Oh. And also men trying for anal without consent. So that’s not new either. Just I was picking men up in clubs and pubs not on line.

Former sex worker here. I was active from approx 1997-2007. Saw literally 100s of men during that time and this ranged from high end escorting (£350 per hour in mansions/fancy hotels) to hostess clubs to run down flats/massage parlours (£20 a time).

Never ever in all those years and across very varied working conditions, locations and client demographics did I once experience a man putting his hands around my neck.

Some punters were disrespectful and pushed boundaries. Usually this was about money and time paid for. Sometimes it was them wanting unprotected oral sex or to have anal sex (this was not standard practice).

But no punter ever expected or even expressed a desire to strangle me. Ditto slapping, hair pulling, spitting etc.

This kind of violence was NOT a standard sexual expectation among heterosexual men then. It really wasn’t.