Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

What can I do...

15 replies

Bottleup · 27/09/2021 09:57

If I go into a female toilet and changing area and men are in there? I think this happened to my daughter and I on Sunday (albeit I admit I can't say for certain they were male, but my young daughter is insistent they were).

OP posts:
Thelnebriati · 27/09/2021 10:16

Leave and complain to the management that they should have marked the toilet as 'mixed sex', not 'women'.

MishyJDI · 27/09/2021 10:20

Well under EA legislation they have every right to be there, and you should perhaps just mind your own business and not bother them? That would be the polite thing to do.

Or you could confront them and ask to see their ID and right to be in there, but be careful you may be foul of a police harassment complaint.

My lesbian niece is sick to death of being chased out of the female toilets, as she is a butch lesbian and gets mistaken for a man. All she wants to do is pee.

Now if anyone has their actual genitals out in front of everyone, then that would be worth pursuing. But in practice people have private cubicles so can pee in peace.

Dont let the fear mongers on here get you concerned. I dont see transwomen or men are likely to take over the world as some on here would suggest! They are just trying to get on and live theirs in peace.

Wrongsideofhistorymyarse · 27/09/2021 10:22

They're not entitled to be there Mishy, stop talking out of your arse.

I'd complain to management.

littlbrowndog · 27/09/2021 10:24

@Wrongsideofhistorymyarse

They're not entitled to be there Mishy, stop talking out of your arse.

I'd complain to management.

🤣🤣🤣
Gncq · 27/09/2021 10:29

Saying something at the time is usually a good starting point, at least then you will know whether they are actually people with a penis rather than "butch lesbians" Hmm.

If people with a penis are indeed in the women's space you can complain to staff and ask that they're removed for not respecting the exemptions in the EA2010 that allow women to have penis free spaces.

PermanentTemporary · 27/09/2021 10:30

Are you suggesting that lesbian women, and only lesbian women, look like men Mishi?

I must ask my lesbian friends about this. I think most of them don't consider themselves to be lesbians in toilets as opposed to women in toilets.

Bottleup · 27/09/2021 10:37

Thanks. Genuinely not being goady. I didn't say anything to them - I didn't actually notice them. But my daughter who is 10 questioned me afterwards about whether they were allowed to be in there (assuming they were men) and I didn't know. My husband who was waiting outside also asked why there had been men in the toilet. It was an unusual venue where the toilets and changing areas were in one section with no separation or door, so from where they were standing in the toilet they would have had full view of the changing area which had no cubicles. I had changed in there myself only and hour earlier and it concerned me that, had my daughter and I been using the area at that point to get changed (as opposed to using a toilet cubicle) then would we have been within our rights to have expected no men in there at the time.

OP posts:
CreepingDeath · 27/09/2021 11:24

Ignore Mishy, they seem determined to spout nonsense.
If I were you I would let management know and make a complaint.

Bottleup · 27/09/2021 11:39

Thanks Creeping

OP posts:
Ereshkigalangcleg · 27/09/2021 12:25

Well under EA legislation they have every right to be there

It has nothing to do with the EA. There is no protected right for trans people to use the sex segregated spaces of the opposite sex. Hopefully if OP and other women complain the service provider might realise how uncomfortable women are with a mixed sex facility.

OldCrone · 27/09/2021 12:38

If I go into a female toilet and changing area and men are in there?

Well under EA legislation they have every right to be there, and you should perhaps just mind your own business and not bother them? That would be the polite thing to do.

@MishyJDI you must have misunderstood what the EA says if you think it says that men have a right to be in a female toilet and changing area.

It's one of the exceptions where it is legal to treat people differently because of their sex.

CatherinaJTV · 27/09/2021 12:53

@Bottleup

Thanks. Genuinely not being goady. I didn't say anything to them - I didn't actually notice them. But my daughter who is 10 questioned me afterwards about whether they were allowed to be in there (assuming they were men) and I didn't know. My husband who was waiting outside also asked why there had been men in the toilet. It was an unusual venue where the toilets and changing areas were in one section with no separation or door, so from where they were standing in the toilet they would have had full view of the changing area which had no cubicles. I had changed in there myself only and hour earlier and it concerned me that, had my daughter and I been using the area at that point to get changed (as opposed to using a toilet cubicle) then would we have been within our rights to have expected no men in there at the time.
the venue has to change their changing rooms. That sounds like it really misses privacy for all.
Artichokeleaves · 27/09/2021 13:01

If you are female who cannot use a mixed sex space or walk in and discover that you're in a situation you do not feel comfortable or safe in:

Leave. Prioritise your safety.

Ask management why the area was not clearly labelled mixed sex.

Ask management where their facilities are for women who cannot use mixed sex spaces, and remind them that the Equality Act has nine legally protected characteristics, not just one.

Try not to be distressed by the aggressive and discriminatory view that women must either bow to giving up their faith, culture, beliefs, privacy, dignity, safety and consent in favour of male people's superiority, and somehow 'getting over' their trauma, disability or PTSD, or give up the right to have equal access to public spaces as a punishment. Because that's male supremacism and open sex/religious/ableist discrimination and not inclusion or equality.

CatherinaJTV · 27/09/2021 13:03

That places sounds overly "public" to begin with though, with significant lack of privacy...

Bottleup · 27/09/2021 17:44

This is really helpful, thank you everyone.

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page