When I was younger, I had the understanding that it was harmless unless someone forced. To each their own type of thing. However, through my own experiences with men, which isn't a lot and not in depth, and my own mind/body, it IS harmful, in subtle, accumulating ways.
I fully believe the modern porn industry exploits abused girls, even if those same girls don't see it. We are told that your sexuality is fixed, can never be changed. So we have abused girls that have fear, pain, terror, self-denying of their own needs/bodies/minds, people pleasing all cemented to their sexuality. Which is a travesty done by abusers cuz now these girls are permanently broken. But are blamed, too, with many saying, well that's just their sexuality. No, it was not supposed to be their sexuality...they were broken, groomed, had their sexuality shaped with terror, pain, etc. So now the porn industry, or the increasing violent and abuse kind, can proliferate, much to the glee of men who get off on causing terror, pain, shame, weakness, confusion.
It's so sad. My sexuality was broken by abuse, both direct and the day-to-day societal sexist bs. I did not understand that when young, and I still don't. It gives you extreme shame.
And yes, it affects men. Men I have unfortunately been with for a short time think it's normal. I thought, hey this is what sex is. This is what I'm for and supposed to like and if I don't, I'm not being an adult or normal. It was crushing. And men (older men too, not just young) use the line all the time of, hey other girls like this..you are supposed to like this. You can't say no. They get mad, thinking, hey all these porn girls and others do it, and I want you to, so you are the problem.
And it could just be me, but every single man I have ever been with or even comments from random guys (uncalled for comments) are all about how they have the power, and if you say no they are like but I want to. Even guys who say, hey I won't hurt you. They argue, shame you for saying no to something. And then they fixate on the one or few things you said no to. And the violence aspect is rife.
I literally believed that's what girls are for, it's the way of the world. Made me depressed. And I had a guy super mad cuz I said no to some things. He literally said, with extreme anger, it's all about what the woman wants and it's bs. I said wtf, no. It's about respect...if someone says don't do this to me, then don't.
I said if he told me to not do something to him I would not and never do it cuz I don't want to harm anyone. It's about respect. I said if I did something to you and said no but I kept doing it or pushing it then you would be upset. He didn't get it. Cuz most women don't go around forcing themselves on people. Men don't have that experience. They think women are controlling their sexuality by saying no, and they are seething mad they can't get what they want. If women were going around forcing acts on men, maybe they would see. "it's all about you women" he said mad. But I also never did anything to him that he was opposed to ffs. He got violent to me. Don't know if I explained that well. I had another guy, similar attitude, all nice til I said no, and then this guy, not physically, but verbally shredded me, all cuz I said no to just ONE particular thing. "but I want to just let me" I despair.
Also porn IS used as instruction for young people. It was for me, unfortunately. I didn't know. My family did not, does not ever talk about sex (even when I hit puberty) or bodies. I was left to figure it out myself, and through school (though sex ed was literally just about hey kids don't get pregnant and these are the diseases you get, and then thrown in their about consent.). I had no access to a computer til late teens and very minimally. In my 20s I did, and I did understand it as "oh, this is what people do for sex behind closed doors."
Also, I want to make a strong point that porn and sex can be used for self-harm. But it is seen as normal. For example, when I would hurt myself, I got sent to the hospital. But if I went around vaguely suicidal and hating self and feeling I'm only an object to be violent to and fell into situations with shady men, and basically did hurt self, put self in position to be hurt....well no drs or professionals batted an eye.
I literally had a very violent man say, you can do anything about this and if you hurt your own self you will be locked away, but I can do whatever to you. And you won't be believed. He is right and it really woke up! I tried reporting him to the police. Literally the male police officer laughed. I am not kidding. I left further realizing, yep I'm on earth to take abuse, god must think I deserve it. I even got upset at a therapist one time, said, hey if I hurt my own body I am locked away. But if I say, hey I'm gonna go have a relationship or sex with a violent guy and we are consenting, you can't do shit about it. She said true, I can't.
So I think a lot of damaged people are hurting themselves with this, on purpose unconsciously. And a few times I did literally consciously let someone hurt me bad. The fact it was consensual almost shouldn't matter in that case. I was basically using men's free pass for violence etc to "cut" me without me getting locked up, berated, pathologized, pushed from society. Can't hurt your own body, but hey if someone else does, cool, we don't care or go for it and make money or etc.
People should do what they want with themselves, but there is a fine line. And I'd wager many of the girls/women are acting out their abuse like I did (didn't realize this young) and/or using it to hurt and punish themselves cuz they hate themselves. And that's sad to have that industry exploit that.