I want to create a meetup group for women but confused about pronouns/gender/inclusivity

[piddocktrumperiness]

I'm thinking of setting up a group for women. A sort of women empowering women type of thing where there would be shared best practice be it in business, health, fitness, relationships, investing, personal growth and charity. I want it to be uniquely for women as I believe the lens is v different. I want it to be a safe space really too. I think men have had the advantage for many years through their clubs and networking circles that have marginalised many women.

Also it's the kind of group that I personally would like to be a part of.

It'll hopefully be a micro community of friends and wing women if needs be, social events with some structure too.

How do I do this without coming across as gender discriminatory because the gender/trans debate is so prolific and I'm finding it all v confusing

If it's local and f2f then prob less issues.

How will you get members IE where will you advertise it?

I wouldn't put it on here. It's a local thing. Would be outing. And would be instantly targeted by our monitors :)

@Redyellowpink

Can you advertise something like that on here? That way you'll get people with a similar mindset. Or are people cautious about meeting others through mumsnet?

I’d be very wary of that because the TRAs keep a very close eye on Mumsnet.

@piddocktrumperiness

Thanks everyone! I sensed it would be tricky :( *@ValancyRedfern* Can I just use the term 'Women' in the name then? and call it something like "women empowering women" or something along the lines?

I'm not sure how to help you on the women only front. You have to be brave enough to go out there and stick to your principles even under a lot pressure.

There's a few of those types of groups on Facebook. The biggest hurdle they face is getting the numbers up and moderating. In many of these types of groups that I've seen, they're simply too broad on subject matter. Sometimes you can learn a lot by connecting to people who are very different to you of course, but these kinds of group will have a woman posting about a corporate courses her company runs, then someone promoting what looks to be a mlm/pyramid type scheme, then a post about a drawing someone's toddler did, followed by recommendation requests for a good restaurant in Liverpool when most of the small group are from all over the place or would have no interest. The activity dies out too quickly because everything's too broad and random.

There's a fee things I wanted to comment on the language of your post, which might affect your marketing if you go along with it -

'Empowerent' - not a word I personally take to. It reminds me of huge brands like Gilette trying to sell me female empowerment through their pink new razor, 'empowering' me to shave my body hair. Men don't really use that language because many already believe they have what it takes but they just need to go on courses or develop their existing skills. They don't need to be 'empowered' as such and I don't feel that way either. I find that language a bit corporate-speak and a bit patronising.

'Best practice' - sounds like part of a power-point presentation in a law firm.

'Safe space' - this used to have meaning but it's nonsense speak used by people who want to shut important women up, like Julie Bindel. It's frequently used by university students who think that they should not be exposed to any ideas, ever, that make them feel uncomfortable.

'I'm finding it all v confusing' - how so?

I've been involved in dozens of women's networks informal and formal, professional and recreational.

It works best when you don't announce it as such and have no written formal structure or aims and keep it unbranded - just meet-ups and whatsapp groups and social activities and chat.

If you want to create a professional 'Woman Supporting Women' brand with a public identity, social media, formal aims - you're fucked already sorry. Your group will be invaded, or legal threats will shut you down or people will destroy you from the outset. If you are happy with Self-ID, then there are a million different groups already in that space so what's the point.

We're in a war situation here. Think of yourself as the French Resistance - you have to do it on the down low. Or the masons, funny handshakes, nods and winks.

Call it a book club - that more or less guarantees no penis people show up. Or 'PTA'.

@EmpressWitchDoesntBurn I do hope that the women on here are mindful of this and are careful before joining any group or disclosing details.

@EarthSight

These are all very valid points that I have not thought of. I've not set the terminology in stone but essentially I want to meet up and make friends with other women where it doesn't always have to be at some bar or coffee shop catching up on our week and what was on the telly.

That's all good but I wanted a few more layers on that. I enjoy personal development, psychology, health and fitness, food, I'm single and fed up of dating and I love politics and am v bothered by the issues that face women. So I figured maybe there might be others that like a few of these things too

@FKATondelayo

Mais Oui!
You are definitely onto something here. I like your thinking

That is EXACTLY the sort of proper womens group I'd love to be part of. I dont suppose you're anywhere near Milton Keynes, are you?

@Funnylittlefloozie
Thank you!

No, unfortunately- I'm in Wales :(

Piddock. I am a director of a Women's Empowerment group. We do every single thing you have mentioned 😊 it is very fulfilling and I have made friends I would never had met even though we are all local to each other.

The other thing to watch out for, apart from women who use ‘cis’ is women who have their pronouns in their social media profiles or email signatures - they’re more likely to believe in gender ideology & to push for a group to be mixed-sex.

Why not call your group a “gender critical feminist forum”? That should make it pretty clear that you don’t accept men or handmaidens in it!

I would join that!

If you mean on the meetup platform then I organise a meetup group (hobby group, not women only) so I may be be to give you relevant info.

But I don't want to drone on if you mean meetup more generally or you already know lots about how meetup works.

If a description of a woman’s group used the term “ICS” I wouldn’t read any further.

The problem is that transactivists have stolen the word “woman” and attempted to redefine it as including natal men.

“Cis” not ICS. Darn autocorrect!

On my local Facebook page one woman has just set up a ‘ladies’ group, they meet in the local pub every Wednesday afternoon, have tea and cake, and once a month will invite men so they can dance. 😳😳😳
I wonder what the demographic of that group will be?

I'd avoid any women's group that used the term "cis". I'd assume you didn't care very much about women at all.

@YouMadeABear

I'd avoid any women's group that used the term "cis". I'd assume you didn't care very much about women at all.

We’ve covered that upthread. The OP understands & very graciously apologised.

Is this the third thread now I two days on terminology that refers to inclusivity and uses the goady c*s or am I being really cynical?

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/4304155-Inclusive-terms-for-girls-women-and-people-who-identify-as-female?pg=1

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/4301114-Collective-Noun?pg=1

Is this the third thread now I two days on terminology that refers to inclusivity and uses the goady cs or am I being really cynical?*

Hmmm....sus here too...
Phishing for terms?

I won't be using any terminology like that. It was a mistake and I apologised.
@missnevermind I'd love to join- any chance you are close to Wales?

@PreachyGreen I've never set up a group before on the meet up platform, I would like to so I'd appreciate any advice I can get :)

The first thing I'd say about meetup - it's not cheap these days and here in West Yorkshire your kind of group would take a while to get going. Have you the finances to fund the group yourself for a year?

They do do introductory offers at times or you can get adopted by another group as it's three for the price of one. eg I know someone who runs a social group to fund his language group.

We pay 6 monthly; it's slightly more expensive if you pay monthly. It's charged in dollars so it varies but works out around £90 every 6 months at the moment. We charge £1 an event, hold at least 2 events a month and in a non-pandemic year make enough to give the surplus to charity.

Social groups round here usually charge an annual sub. So you'd need 18 members willing to pay £10 then you have the hassle of collecting and chasing up.

I'm sounding gloomy but pre-pandemic women's social groups did ok round here. I've not heard of any TRA issues; the two transwomen I've met on meetup were not pushy. I can't imagine either of them going where they didn't feel wecome. meetup tends to not get involved with membership. If you remove a member they would have their work cut out to get any attention from meetup, Twitter is another matter.

If you have any more specific to meetup questions, feel free to private message me. I think if you aren't able to fund it yourself then a different platform will be better for you.

Sorry, We are in the Midlands. The group has been running about 8 years. We have mostly Muslim women members so we are very protective of it being a women's only safe space.
Menbers find us by word of mouth or have attended one of our fundays. Mostly new members are introduced by a current member. We have to date not had to deal with a person not being born female wanting to join.
The consensus was at a group discussion with a council member that a person living as a female and living with female relationship/work issues / presented as a female at all times could be accepted as a member.
It is a little more clear cut as it is a religious / cultural issue as well. Not being in the presence of a male you are not related to by blood.

I still don’t and never will understand what it is to “live as a female” beyond wearing what is deemed to be women’s clothing & female stereotyped hair & make up

Missnevermind- do you mean a council member as in local cllr from the local authority?