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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

J K Rowling Woke me up

18 replies

MerchedCymru · 18/07/2021 21:29

Great guest post by Ruthy Jones reflecting on her journey and increasing discomfort with gender ideology, and how she came to join our movement. Many of our members relate to her experiences, and some mention Mumsnet in raising their awareness too (well done you Mumsnetters!)

Definitely worth a look

merchedcymru.wales/2021/07/18/jkrowling/

OP posts:
Shedbuilder · 18/07/2021 21:54

That's a really useful addition — will reflect a lots of women's experiences and assure others just beginning to realise what's been going on that they are being perfectly reasonable when they question all the gender woo.

ChakaDakotaRegina · 18/07/2021 22:39

That’s a brilliant article - very clear and relatable

LongBlobson · 18/07/2021 23:06

That's nicely written and very much reflects my own recent journey.

notaclownfish · 18/07/2021 23:19

Great article! Describes my journey perfectly too

stillamum22 · 18/07/2021 23:32

Great read! Got me thinking too. I think Karen White first got my attention and it was wtf? I was ranting on FB and Twitter etc. and assumed this was an aberration and heads would roll. But then I kept seeing more and more stuff and it really felt like women's rights were unravelling. Then of course there was the delightful Jessica Yaniv but that was Canada right? It could never happen here. When I became more aware and saw WPUK mobilising then I knew this had to be the way forward. JKR was fab, like a thunderclap. The shit she got just showed what we were up against. No wonder other countries are so impressed with UK. Its like one step forward, two steps back sometimes but we keep going... The trans in women's prisons still gets me every time. womenwww.theguardian.com/society/2018/oct/11/karen-white-how-manipulative-and-controlling-offender-attacked-again-transgender-prison

Mulletsaremisunderstood · 18/07/2021 23:37

Brilliant article, I nodded along to this line: 'I’d heard the term transwomen are women too. I hadn’t realised anyone really believed it. I thought it was a kindness.'

I remember the shock of realising that some people (women) were actually pretending that twaw is real.

I thought it was like when you tell kids that Santa is real to make them feel better Confused.

Olderbadger1 · 19/07/2021 00:20

I was bemused I think - and probably assumed that this was no big deal given that there were only 5,000 people with a GRA. Then things started to ramp up a bit, and I started to check out MN feminist boards.

But I didn't really get worried until they put up that chilling projection 'Repeat after us - trans women are women' and no-one called it out. Well MN called it out of course, and other doughty souls, but those in power stayed silent.

I'm part of Merched Cymru now too. The solidarity and sisterhood is heartwarming. Courage really does call to courage.

FannyCann · 19/07/2021 08:06

Great article. Totally relatable. I must be about the same age, also busy raising young children and completely unaware when the GRC was quietly slipped into law. And believing women's rights, in the West at least, were pretty much a done thing.
I still can't really believe that some people actually do believe TWAW. It's just moved on from being a politeness to being a cosh.

Truthlikeness · 19/07/2021 08:27

I was completely oblivious until a (male) writer I respected got piled on for supporting JK Rowling's tweet in support of Maya Forstater. I started to read around the subject, very quickly discovered the cotton ceiling and the veil was lifted. It's made me much more aware of women's rights in general and the battles feminism still has to fight.

highame · 19/07/2021 08:27

A really good read and a fantastic start to the week. Janice Turner started my journey, we all seem to find ourselves here and we have a great resource to help us Grin

Mulletsaremisunderstood · 19/07/2021 09:10

Olderbadger1 I love this The solidarity and sisterhood is heartwarming. Smile. You're right, it has brought out the latent feminist in many of us. I didn't think I had this level of righteous anger in me, but here it is. Whether the TRAs realise it or not, they have mobilised a whole new generation of suffragettes.

And yes to the chilling 'Repeat after us - twaw'...like we are school children who need re-educating! The patronising arrogance is astounding. Is stinks to high heaven of male entitlement!

One of the most sobering things about all of this is, like you said 'those in power stayed silent'. Where is the integrity of standing up for women being abused and harassed for simply speaking the truth?

It showed me how little regard many in government and media have for women and women's issues. For all their bleating about domestic violence and the gender pay gap, they don't give a shit. Happy to take our money, happy to pat us on the head like a pet dog who wants a treat. But when it comes down to it, will never truly see us as deserving of the same importance or respect and dignity.

And like you FannyCann I thought women's rights were done and dusted. But what I've learned is that they are never done, there will always be someone chipping away at them somewhere in the background. Like around the time women would have felt more equal in the workplace, graphic pornography was on the rise, putting us back in our place. And now it has become normalised Angry.

Misogyny never stops, just takes a different form I guess.

Like the old Ronald Reagan quote about fascism returning disguised as liberalism. The is plain old misogyny, dressed up as something else.

ArtemesiaK · 19/07/2021 09:27

My first inkling that something was amiss was the Hampstead bathing pools incident. A woman had complained that there was a man in the women's pool. I thought how frightening that might be especially at a time of day there weren't many people about. Anyway, turned out he was a TW. The local authority confirmed that TWs were welcome in the women's pool. TWs said they "didn't feel comfortable" in the men's pool,poor dears (there is BTW a mixed pool).
But the J K Rowling furore knocked me sideways. I thought her remark was funny and could not understand who was complaining. TMs who menstruate but call themselves men? TWs who are jealous because they don't? I saw no reason at all why so much invective was being hurled at her. After that, men in women's prisons and women's sports, then I discovered this haven of sanity, where I have learnt so much more frightening stuff, like the indoctrination of children in schools.....

FannyCann · 19/07/2021 10:32

Like the old Ronald Reagan quote about fascism returning disguised as liberalism. The is plain old misogyny, dressed up as something else.

Also a (un) healthy dollop of liberal fascism wrapped up with it.

Bibidy · 19/07/2021 10:52

@Mulletsaremisunderstood

Brilliant article, I nodded along to this line: 'I’d heard the term transwomen are women too. I hadn’t realised anyone really believed it. I thought it was a kindness.'

I remember the shock of realising that some people (women) were actually pretending that twaw is real.

I thought it was like when you tell kids that Santa is real to make them feel better Confused.

Yes I agree.

I saw something on instagram this weekend that referred to 'period-havers' and a few unsuspecting people had picked up on it in the comments, saying "Period-havers?? Confused Do you mean women?". People were replying back literally explaining that "Not just women have periods, what about trans men and intersex people?"

Just a complete denial of the fact that menstruation is female biology. Both trans men and intersex people only menstruate due to having a uterus, which is part of the female body only. I feel as if it's presented like we've been ignoring a section of the population who menstruate for other reasons than that?

I just still can't get my head round when it changed from acceptance that people are who they are and should be able to live their life a certain way, to denying that females even exist at all?

Inclusivity to me is "women, girls and anyone who menstruates". Not denying that it's only people born with female biology that menstruate when that's the clear truth.

gailforce1 · 19/07/2021 11:00

JKR now featured in the mail online regarding the threat of a "pipe bomb" being posted to her as she has not been "cancelled".

Shedbuilder · 19/07/2021 11:25

I was talking with a couple of other lesbians over the weekend about how weary we are of fighting this. We've been jumping up and down and trying to attract attention for, in my case, more than a decade. At that time no one outside the LGB community seemed to have the faintest idea what we were talking about — and actually, most of the LGB people I know didn't see it as much of an issue. Although those who encountered the local Exocet-missile of a TRA (who destroyed a lot of lesbian and women-only groups) finally began to get it.

I'd talk to my nice middle-class educated straight friends about the implications of men arriving in women's society and saying they were women and we weren't allowed to challenge them and they'd be 'Calm down, Shed, you need a holiday. It's just some random poor confused soul' or they'd tell me I needed to see a psychiatrist. They just couldn't see the homophobia and misogyny: some of them still don't. It's been the most isolating and demoralising period of my life, seeing women's rights being stolen in plain sight while people tell me to be nice and stop fussing.

I'm really pleased that now more women are seeing what I saw 12 years ago and are taking up the fight. I've run out of steam and I think I probably need to take a month or two off from it. It feels safer to do so now.

If this is ever over I'm not sure I'll ever feel as trusting or as comfortable as I once did. It's exposed a deep pit of everyday homophobia and misogyny just under our civilised veneer. I have a Jewish friend whose parents spent their lives after the war with a bag packed, ready to make a run for it if necessary. After the Brexit vote and Labour's anti-semitism my friend made up a wheelie-case containing everything she might need if she had to flee suddenly. I never used to understand but now I do.

mollythemeerkat · 19/07/2021 16:10

This article is a journey taken by many of us. Shedbuilder - I initally started thinking about it because my daughter flagged it up as something that was worrying her lesbian friends. I think you are right that the tide is starting to turn - someone on another thread talked about the Overton window being inched open. We`re not there yet but hopefully we will be.

highame · 19/07/2021 17:03

Much later to this than you shed and molly but you don't know how grateful we are that you have amassed knowledge that we can draw on. We thought things were on the right track after the 60's 70's, how daft were we. I agree shed, I wont ever feel properly comfortable again about women's rights. I will always have one watchful eye.

Speaking of which, parliamentary recess this week. I'll be watching for anything coming out under the radar.

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