Janice Turner: Distress signals which reveal young women's burden

[ErrolTheDragon]

Heres her Times column today

www.thetimes.co.uk/article/distress-signals-reveal-young-womens-burden-j2sfdzc8t?shareToken=6d368b452712efc7cf639fe473d34b9d

Once again La Janice nails it.

Thanks for sharing Errol. I'm glad this was in a prominent publication.

She nails it every time.

The young woman’s burden is always wanting to be liked. Not caring what others, especially men, think about you is the secret bonus of age. But girls crave approval. For my generation the bar was low: be pleasant and pretty. Now the arenas in which perfection must be achieved are manifold: school, career, looks, sexual allure, often of an extreme pornified type. Plus a brand new personality test borne of our performative politics: you must be seen to “be kind”. Not just to those who know you, but faceless millions who don’t care if you live or die. Young approval-craving female brains are rewired to weigh their self-esteem in Instagram “likes”.

So right, so sad.

Thanks for sharing Errol, I've tried to forward it to my daughter child.

thanks for the share. Janice is so smart, her writing gives me new perspectives every time I read it

I would so like to meet Janice Turner and express how grateful I am for her excellent writing . Thank goodness she exists!

Thanks for the share. She is so precise in her capturing of these issues.

As usual, Janice nails it again. Thanks for the share.

You could strap me to a ducking stool and I would still deny that breast-binding is progressive.

Yes. If people were trying to advocate that position for footbinding, it would be categorised very differently and might attract questioning or even opposition rather than encouragement and valorisation.

There's a strong energy of Irischild: I will not say it

archive should the share token lapse: archive.is/jlFGM

She is so very good. Always nails it

Yes, although I'm not sure that women really age-out of needing to please, rather than come to terms with the fact that once past a certain age a woman is incapable of pleasing, or just so unimportant her pleasing or not is an irrelevance. If you don't have power then pleasing becomes terribly important, because those that dislike you can make your life hell. The women who step out of line are treated as warnings to the rest of us.

Absolutely brilliant.

My goddess that Irischild poem is superb! Thank you for sharing it

@MaudTheInvincible

My goddess that Irischild poem is superb! Thank you for sharing it

Isn't it just.

I repeat parts of it to myself as a rallying cry to courage and a reminder of how and why we're in this.

@EsmaCannonball

Yes, although I'm not sure that women really age-out of needing to please, rather than come to terms with the fact that once past a certain age a woman is incapable of pleasing, or just so unimportant her pleasing or not is an irrelevance. If you don't have power then pleasing becomes terribly important, because those that dislike you can make your life hell. The women who step out of line are treated as warnings to the rest of us.

I disagree - I definitely hit a point where I realised I wasn't remotely interested in pleasing people, conforming, worry about embarrassment. It's so liberating.

I'm 50 and my imposter syndrome has evaporated too, NeedNewKnees

We become more radical with age, said a very smart woman who seems to have become less radical and decided TWAW, but there you go.

Agree, I'm really happy in my body and myself in a way that is entirely new. If I'd felt like this in my 30s I'd have done great things.

Well, of course some women 'age out' of people-pleasing (and/or specifically man-pleasing) and others don't. Some are even fortunate enough to escape that phase.

Thanks for sharing OP
I feel so much for young women these days and the pressure on them to be perfect.
At nearly 50 I agree with Janice we just needed to look/ be nice - still not great but we were free from the curse of social media.
So glad she’s nailed the ludicrous fuss over Emma Corrin. She is sending a toxic and dangerous message. She should be ignored not lauded.

Janice is spot on once again.

And that Irischild poem is incredible.

Such a brilliant, and important piece of writing. It's heartbreaking that it will be overlooked by so many decision-makers in our society.