Sex ed in year 5.

[LetsTalkBoutSexBabyThereArTwo]

DD has had a request sent home for her to attend sex education. She is in year 5. I can't believe I'm in this situation but I am leaning towards not giving consent to the school.

The teacher has made at least one comment about people "changing gender from male to female" that DD happened to mention to me.

DD has known how babies are made (the full story) for years. Knows all about her body and has even had a lot of the info about the male body. I'm not British so I don't fully understand all the differences between PSHE and sex ed? I'm right in thinking reproduction is covered under PSHE right? Because that's Jigsaw who I've seen conflicting opinions about and I'm a bit concerned.

Mostly I feel like she doesn't need it as she currently gets the whole story at home and is mostly not embarrassed and I'm worried that it might become embarrassing at school, or might give her false information.

Any thoughts?

By false information I mean be told that boys can have a baby and feed their young. Girls can have penises etc. I don't want her being told anything that will confuse the actual useful facts that she currently knows and understands and can keep her safe in the future.

My dd is in year 5, they mostly learned about periods and what to do when they start. They looked at Sanpro products. They learnt about body changes.
It was about the biology of it and nothing on transgender as far as I am aware.

Thanks @wishiwasbytheseaside

Was the language straight forward do you know? "Girls get periods" Not "people get periods". Also do they still separate the girls and boys ?

There is a Jigsaw lesson in yr6 on trans issues but not so far as I am aware in yr 5. Theres also a lesson in yr 2 on gender stereotyping - theres a current thread in the feminism sex/gender board on that with some screen shots. I think the sex ed stuff is part of a separate unit (changing me) to the diversity unit and therefore taught separately. But given your concerns I'd personally try to speak with the teacher about it and find out more.

But given your concerns I'd personally try to speak with the teacher about it and find out more.

The school hasn't made that very easy at the moment, unfortunately. Thank you for the info re the other thread. Do you know which one it is or have a link please?

OP you say you’re not British but it seems like you’re living in the UK, if so you’re allowed, by law, to ask the school about what they’re planning to teach and what tools they’re going to use. That should probably be your starting point and decide from there

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/4286988-can-you-please-help-me-articulate-the-issues-with-this-jigsaw

Year 2 lesson on gender stereotyping....will take me a while to find the yr 6 stuff but bear with me

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/4249060-JIgsaw-PHSE-materials-I-have-details?pg=2

Yr 6 transgender lesson...I'm sure i have seen more on this but not sure where - if I find it I will come back and update.

41. All schools should work closely with parents when planning and delivering these subjects. Schools should ensure that parents know what will be taught and when, and clearly communicate the fact that parents have the right to request that their child be withdrawn from some or all of sex education delivered as part of statutory RSE.
42. Parents should be given every opportunity to understand the purpose and content of Relationships Education and RSE. Good communication and opportunities for parents to understand and ask questions about the school’s approach help increase confidence in the curriculum assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/908013/Relationships_Education__Relationships_and_Sex_Education__RSE__and_Health_Education.pdf

I've got a DC of the same age and as well as the usual stuff about periods etc, gather they were told to start thinking about what sort of person they'll want to date (ie they weren't asking them to consider whether they thought they'd prefer short, blond and kind to tall, auburn and funny).

Thanks, we are in the UK, We had an email yesterday and they want a response by Thursday. The school is dealing with Covid staff shortages and the teachers don't really come past the gates so I was trying to get some real-life opinions, not what could be biased from the school.

However, on opening again the online form to click the "no" option, I see there was an attachment I missed that does go into it a bit better. The children will be separated which I'm happy about.

Learning Outcomes: Learn about the life-cycle stage of puberty. The children will be taught about the changes that will happen to them as well as the changes that happen to the opposite gender.

Is it so much to ask them to use the word sex? Really. I think I will probably have her miss it. There's nothing they will teach her she doesn't know already.

Thanks to everyone who answered.

@GU24Mum

I've got a DC of the same age and as well as the usual stuff about periods etc, gather they were told to start thinking about what sort of person they'll want to date (ie they weren't asking them to consider whether they thought they'd prefer short, blond and kind to tall, auburn and funny).

Why do they need to be thinking about dating at 9 and 10!? Yeah, we're going to miss this.

Thanks for the lniks Changey!

The thing is, the sex ed stuff might be absolutely fine - biology based, factual, practical important information for growing boys & girls to know about their bodies. No problems there and probably what you've taught your child already - though historically these are the bits parents would have been withdrawing their children from. Its the rest of the PSHE that's the issue as I see it, as these are the bits that are supposedly non controversial - celebrating diversity and preventing gender stereotyping- when actually they could be doing the exact opposite. And as parents we have no real clue about the detail of what's being taught, or what personal or political opinions the teaching staff might be bringing to the lesson. And I don't think you can withdraw your child from PSHE, nor would you want to (probably) as most of it is absolutely fine, and it would be impractical to do so anyway as its very much embedded within all the rest of the teaching that's going on.

If I'd have known that would be included, I'd have opted out of that part of the lesson too...........

10yo/yr 5 DD2 is having 'the talk' today from the school nurse. The yr6 pupils will also be there - presumably as they weren't able to have it last year. As far as I'm aware, it's just about 'growing up' - periods, bo, development etc. but DD is primed to tell me if there's any mention of being born in the wrong body or GI stuff.

My Y5 dd already has a friend who thinks they are trans, so it may come up in the questions anyway, whether it’s in the lesson plan or not.

I asked the school for the lesson plan (they had the course outline etc on their website already, helpfully) and went back with some queries on how they planned to use My Princess Boy. They have adapted some of the Jigsaw content, so I wanted to check what was still in there.

Tbh, I also wanted to make the point that I was on the look out for anything that might make my GNC dd feel anything other than supported in being a GNC girl, and to make sure that they knew I knew about the latest DfE guidance on this. I’m sure they’re under massive pressure from some parents to go with the blue brains / pink brains approach, as there is an awful lot of gender stereotyping amongst some parents. So I wanted to make it clear that I was on the look out for this, because I am about the impact on my dd, given she doesn’t conform to those stereotypes.

Have the school said what specifically they’re planning on covering?

We had a letter home before DS1’s class (Year 5) did sex education this year spelling out what they would be covering (puberty and relationships being the main stuff), and giving details of who at the school to contact if we wanted more information.