Schools and "the talk"

[Whatwouldscullydo]

I'm assuming this is the right board for this as its a sex based issue.

I was just wondering what was going on at schools now as I seem to remember it being different fir dd1. Dd2s class ( yr 5) has recently had the whole sex education section of pshe. And yes I am trying to subtly probe as to what exactly they were taught re certain parts of the subject.

I was just surprised though that the girls and boys didn't get split fir part of it. I remember dd1 having a "mums/gardians and daughter " session where we actually went in for a demonstration/Talk. This time although thanks to covid we didnt have the meeting, well it seems that all the.lessons remained mixed the whole time. Luckily dd2 has books books akd I will.amswer the questions bilut many will have parents who done and I do feel that although it's important both sexs know what to expect from both sexes, that not giving a separate session where perhaps kids would feel.more able to ask questions ( I know it's done anonymously anyway but there's still no denying that it makes a difference the class is mixed).

Has this part been moved to say yr6 or 7. Or is this it now, erosion of privacy complete?

I didn't want to make a big deal about it and worry dd2 but despite the fact she plays almost exclusively with boys at break time and is friends with mainly boys, she still asked me why the girls didn't get a chance to talk on their own because not everyone will know what she does.

As much as I agree that we don't combat the embarrassment by pretending its a dirty secret amongst just girls/boys I do feel they still need sone time apart for some aspects.

Unfortunately, from what I can see in practice, it's fairly individual to the school and what materials/ advice they're following.

My sil is a primary teacher in charge of pshe and thought she was being progressive by insisting the boys were included till I pointed out on holiday with her last year that it's not that simple for all of it. And that girls have a right to privacy for a number of elements.

Whether she listened or not I'm not sure.

Academy chains have their own methods and other areas are led by how the LEA run it.

I'm in sen and we do separate for most of it. there's usually only 3 girls and 20-30 boys but we'd still separate.

When I taught / introduced sex Ed in a mainstream primary a number of years ago, y4, it wasn't separate but I don't think it included periods from what I remember.

It's absolutely worth querying it with the school and putting forward your concerns, and those of your daughter.

I attended a meeting at the school while back about the sex ed curriculum and specifically asked about terminology etc but I think the deputy head at the time deliberately missed the point . She's now head. I did respond to the consultation repeating the need for accurate terminology and not confusing the.kids re sex and gender and so far I've not heard anything from dd2 that indicates they overstepped in that regard which is good.

I didn't see anything that said that girls and boys would no longer be separated.

Dd did say that when a teacher came into the class to say the boys toilets were shut temporarily while they were cleaned shebwasbworrued they'd make the boys share the girls toilets but they didn't so currently there are still boundaries in place which is good.

I was just surprised they didn't get chance to have their own separate class. Dd says it's over now until next year anyway so I that does buy me sone time to find out what's due to happen there i guess

I feel like there should be guidance from the dfe on this, have you tried looking?

Not yet. I just assumed it would be basically the same as befire.

And as we know the Materials they use fir the rest of it well its really hard to access them. Schools are open in who they use and yet the only actual info of the lesson plans etc pop up on here as screenshots

I did recently wrte ti my mp again about schools pshe and the association with.mermaids and stonewall but I've yet to hear back

There may be a chance it's a covid change if it's class and not yeargroup bubbles ie. One form entry.

I've been in schools where year five don't separate but year six do. That was many moons ago and generally the period talks seem to be coming sooner out of necessity.

It is worth flagging this up now in anticipation for year six as staff assignment etc needs to be considered if they split. It can't be done on the hoof and if you leave it too late they'll not be able to change even if they felt it necessary to.

Its 2 form entry. Yeah covid has screwed everything up really because you can't really know of something is permanent or just bible protection at the moment. I will contact after the summer hols as tight now they r dealing with a yr closure and staffing so perfect opportunity to not be pinned down to answers and to ignore me in good conscience

Will also give me some time ti put the feelers out with some other parents

Yes I'd wait till September and find out more.

Schools are struggling at mo. A local middle has half the kids isolating and know how many staff. It's a nightmare.

All the sex ed lessons I've taught have been a mix of some single sex lessons and some mixed sex. Things like relationships, respect, consent and contraception - mixed sex. Well taught they can be extremely powerful and help peer groups challenge entitlement and sexist assumptions. We also have some single sex sessions as part of the course. We use the same materials for both sexes (they need to understand about the opposite sex) but have found that most students like the chance for some same sex discussions.

BUT - it's not always easy and currently some schools are under massive pressure from certain religious groups to constrain and minimise the sex ed curriculum. It's very worrying to see.

I can also link in any pe changing issues if they arise then too. Although I'm.sure they won't thankfully this school is not the worst for this stuff. I am giving them the benefit of the doubt. I am.glad they got the.lesson.last years cohort obviously missed out and all headed off to secondary without the info.

Dd isn't full of nonsense ( well she is not not with that at least ) so that's the main thing.

My DD is a bit older but her Yr5 teacher did this really well.
She split the class into boys and girls and did the lesson seperately - including telling the girls about male puberty and vice versa. It got all the giggles and embarrassment out of the way. Kids were able to ask questions etc.. Then she repeated it to the whole class together as if to demonstrate that nothing was too taboo or awkward to discuss together. I was very impressed with her approach (she was and is, a fantastic teacher)

That sounds good actually.

I do admit it presented a little bit of a dilemma given the current climate. Because I did try to explain that one day she may have a husband or a son amd need to know these things but I was also very conscious of trying to not normalise having to listen to men talk about their bits. A few years ago it wouldn't have really been an issue but for obvious reasons we have to be a bit more careful in that regard now.

In my DD’s school it is not split, it is all together for all of the Y5 PHSE material. I think that is fine, personally. What is taught is fairly basic biology, with a bit of relationship education thrown in.

I'm currently teaching year 5 and we're covering SRE in our PSHE lessons this term. My school used to do a boys talk and a girls talk but now teach the whole class together. I'm not sure when the change happened as I'm fairly new to Upper KS2

The plans involved one lesson on physical changes in puberty but I needed 2 lessons (each longer than I normally timetable for PSHE) because the children had so many questions. They would normally learn about menstruation in year 4 but that didn't happen because of covid so that could be part of the reason why there were so many questions.

The children knew that if they wanted to ask anything more privately they could talk to me or to the MDSA who works with our class (luckily for my class, our MDSA is also a Thrive practitioner and they are very comfortable talking to her about their problems etc).

That's great Beamur. That also allows children unable to "hear things" the first time a chance to re engage and gives a sensitive message about the need for single sex sessions on occasions.

I thought so too. She's a thoughtful teacher. Lots of other things she did were very perceptive about how children learn too.

That's greatBeamur. That also allows children unable to "hear things" the first time a chance to re engage and gives a sensitive message about the need for single sex sessions on occasions

Yy over

Its not that I have any objections at all to dd learning about what happens with the boys. Believe me I would far rather a chikd who was able to be one to help or reassure a child who was scared about what was happening to them or perhaps even able to realise something was wrong and get help than be the one giggling or embarrassed and making others feel the same.

But I do feel sometimes with all the bright ideas to try and make things less embarrassing for the kids or not to single a particular group out that it's often girls especially who lose out.

Jts hopefully gonna be a few tears until they enter relationships but some of those girls may have already started their periods and may even not be the best equipped for ot all depending on parents