How to get through to 8 year old

[CallMeNutribullet]

Last night my 8 year old DD broke down and told me she wanted to be a boy.

She's always been fairly gender conforming but recently has said she's not a big fan of school skirts and dresses because she finds trousers more comfortable. She also asked for a couple of items of clothing from the "boys" section (which of course is fine). I've always told her there's no such thing as boys clothes/toys but probably not done enough to fight the onslaught of pink.

She's recently started puberty and I think isn't too keen on her changing body. She also has very fixed ideas about gender I'm struggling to tackle. She said she wants to be a boy because they get to do more "fun" stuff like learning to box and football. She doesn't like getting the tangles brushed from her long hair and enjoys gaming.

I've enrolled her in a boxing class and she'd like her hair bobbed so booked an appointment for that. I've told her she will always be a girl but there's nothing she can't do and if people in school tell her otherwise she should tell them there's no such thing as boys/girls stuff.

Does anyone recommend anything else? I'm really worried she'll get caught up in gender ideology as a way to "fix" the unfairness of these bullshit sexist stereotypes. Are there any good books about GNC girls aimed at her age?

Sounds as if you're doing a good job OP and there's some great support on this thread.

One thing I'd suggest (in addition to any social media access, especially via gaming) is checking what is happening in her school? There are some pretty grim materials (and organisations) out there selling materials to schools that breach the DfE guidelines that children should not be taught that they're born in the wrong body. Sadly too few teachers seem to have the insight / safeguarding sense (or maybe courage) to critically evaluate what they're using. Hopefully it's not the case in your school but as a pp said, check with the school to make sure make sure there is no attempt at positive affirmation should your daughter express these thoughts at school.

I believe that teams tend to be mixed sex up to the age of 11 although it tends to be just one girl amongst many boys.
Friend's DD in y5-6 played in a girls team out if school, and in the school team where she was the only girl. I think she was allowed to continue playing with the boys school teams at y7-8 (school didn't have enough interested to make a girls school team) but at some point the boys start pulling away and safety becomes a concern because of the size + strength differential.

As a side effect of having these discussions with DD, 9, she's getting pretty good at calling out sexism when she sees it. Mini feminists rock :)

On top of all the good stuff you are doing talk to her about sexist stereotypes, laugh at the silly people who say girls can't do xyz, talk about how it can be difficult being a girl especially during puberty. I think it is so important to tell them that sometimes it does feel awful but the answer is to find a new project, read a new book, find some friends who are like you, do some exercise and fundamentally things will get better. Mighty Girl website and Facebook page have inspiring women and good empowering reading lists.

Sounds like you have it in hand, and lots of helpful advice given.

Couple more suggestions
The Mighty Girl website has lots of good resources (although can be a bit US-focussed)
www.amightygirl.com/

Love this Elise Gravel poster. Simple but effective
elisegravel.com/en/blog/girls-can-be/
I put it on the wall in the upstairs loo, and some weeks later my daughter came to tell me she knew it by heart and recited it. It's now in her room.

Also (and you may have done this already anyway) I think its important to not skip the sympathy stage, so she knows you appreciate the frustrations she has, and share your own maybe, with how things can be restrictive and tougher for girls and women. I find with my kids (and with myself too!) that if someone goes 'yeah, it sucks' and offers an ear and shared experiences, then they're in a better mind to start looking to solutions.

A book with a strong girl protagonist - Ronja the Robber’s Daughter by Astrid Lindgren - one of my favourites as a child!