I think school may be ignoring my emails re: gender identity

[Changeychangeychange]

After much deliberating I bit the bullet and emailed my child's school about 3 weeks ago now, on 24th May. No response. Half term came and went so on 7th June I followed up with a polite email checking it had been received. Got a reply from the secretary assuring me she would ensure the head would see my original email. Reattached PDFs from safe schools alliance etc. Another week has gone by, no response.

What should I do from here? Chase again? I don't want to make a complaint but I do want them to answer my questions this side of the summer holidays! My email was polite and asking for information about the planned teaching relating to gender ideology in the school. Also asking for information about the promotion of keeping secrets within the jigsaw PSHE programme. It very firmly flags me up as gender critical, which worries me in a LA maintained school in a stonewall champion city council.

The silence from the school is worrying me more than anything, surely the should want to talk to parents about PSHE concerns? I'm not used to dealing with schools as my child is in yrR, so I have no idea what to expect or what a normal timeframe for a response would be.

[quote MouseyTheVampireSlayer]This school (not my school) explains the difference well.
www.kapowprimary.com/blog/what-is-the-difference-between-rse-and-pshe/[/quote]
Thank you, this is helpful.

Teachers have no influencing over the curriculum and plan for what they are told to teach by SLT.

Schools are still wading through the shitshow that was Covid, dealing with the new variant and extra precautions that now have to be put back in place.

It's the last half term, schools are sorting transitions of classes, staffing, parents evenings, reports, Covid catch up data.....all whilst teaching the children, dealing with the usual last half term tiredness/boredom from children.

Please don't keep chasing the class teacher, they will be busy enough right now with actual important things.

Kapow are a company that produce curriculum content/ schemes of work for primary schools.

Teachers have no influencing over the curriculum and plan for what they are told to teach by SLT.

Also, many teachers don't understand either the sex gender debates nor that materials their given which have been bought by the school (such as Kapow, jigsaw etc) could be an issue.

In some schools subject leaders have been asked to write their own schemes (I have for my subjects, I've bought in a couple of units here and there.)

Pshe may actually be being run by a young teacher with only 2-3 years of experience. RSE may be tacked on to that or again bought in via the LA or academy trust who may have organised an internal scheme or bought into one.

Also, nhs trusts can buy in orgs to deliver pshe and RSE training and content to schools. The nhs has funded lots of things such as the proud trust, if their Gp data shows lots of teens seeking help for sexuality and identity issues/ worries.

A young head may be clueless to any issues and even trust the teacher in charge to have looked at all the guidance themselves.

Ofsted said that they wanted subject leaders (many are not slt) to have a depth of knowledge of their subject, go on cpd etc and be able to construct a unique progressive scheme of work that suits the school cohort as well as follow the curriculum.

My own head has little clue of what I've put in our scheme for 2 different subjects (neither pshe or RSE). The deputy is in charge of curriculum but new to the school and starting to wade through it.

Then there's bloody twinkl. And Facebook groups where teachers share ideas and resources. "Has anyone done a PowerPoint on ..."

Quite frankly the Tories have created a perfect storm.

@WarriorN

Teachers have no influencing over the curriculum and plan for what they are told to teach by SLT.

Also, many teachers don't understand either the sex gender debates nor that materials their given which have been bought by the school (such as Kapow, jigsaw etc) could be an issue.

In some schools subject leaders have been asked to write their own schemes (I have for my subjects, I've bought in a couple of units here and there.)

Pshe may actually be being run by a young teacher with only 2-3 years of experience. RSE may be tacked on to that or again bought in via the LA or academy trust who may have organised an internal scheme or bought into one.

Also, nhs trusts can buy in orgs to deliver pshe and RSE training and content to schools. The nhs has funded lots of things such as the proud trust, if their Gp data shows lots of teens seeking help for sexuality and identity issues/ worries.

A young head may be clueless to any issues and even trust the teacher in charge to have looked at all the guidance themselves.

Ofsted said that they wanted subject leaders (many are not slt) to have a depth of knowledge of their subject, go on cpd etc and be able to construct a unique progressive scheme of work that suits the school cohort as well as follow the curriculum.

My own head has little clue of what I've put in our scheme for 2 different subjects (neither pshe or RSE). The deputy is in charge of curriculum but new to the school and starting to wade through it.

Then there's bloody twinkl. And Facebook groups where teachers share ideas and resources. "Has anyone done a PowerPoint on ..."

Quite frankly the Tories have created a perfect storm.

And in PSHE teacher facebook groups, most still recommend Stonewall and only ever use the term, ‘gender’.

The school is too busy to get into gender ideology. I am guessing that the sum total of their teaching on this is some people may decide to live as a different gender. I doubt they have spent much time thinking about it which will be why you haven't yet had a response.

Isn't it known " anecdotally" ( on a previous MN thread ) that Jigsaw have told schools to ignore requests for clarification from concerned parents?

I'm pretty sure you've been flagged up in house as annoying.
There is little mention in your posts of your child, of their welfare, of their school experience,of the Covid restrictions and how this has limited their school experience.
This at a time when it widelyreported how kids of this age have suffered in the basics-wiping their bum, blowing their noes,dealing with their shoes, basic responding and talking to other people, holding a pen.
All YR teachers are running themselves ragged to make up this alleged deficit in kids' progress.

And then there's you, hammering away about a policy, insisting and quoting outside agencies, going to the top and not even taling with the person who actually works with your child, also, casting opinions on all the other parents, in one of your posts.
Im not saying your question is not important.
Im saying youve got your priorities and understanding of schools completely wrong.
What you are trying to achieve is something you ought to do in case of an actual complaint. In case of something having gone wrong, in case of your child coming to some sort of harm or being unhappy.

Are any of these things true?
You totally misread the role of the school. Number one is to keep your child cared for, progressing and making the most of the abilities they do and could have.

No mention of this at all in your posts. Presumably no mention of this at all in any of your emails or letters.
They will be face palming with every contact.
They work very very hard for your kid, and you want them to down tools for both your kid and all the other kids, so they can respond about a policy?
It's not the policy that counts as much as the individual teacher, and you haven't even spoken to them?
Get real.

I'm aware its the last few weeks of term. However I got in contact LAST TERM. Just before half term they contacted all parents, actually inviting us to get in touch about the sex ed part of the curriculum with any questions. I replied to that specific email, reiterating my concerns - still no response. I really don't think I need to feel guilty about contacting the school to find out what they may or may not be teaching my own child. I'm not harassing them!

In response to the pp stating individual teachers have no influence - this is why I contacted the head first. It's only because I've had no reply that I'm contacting the class teacher.

I know it's a busy time of year, but when isn't it? If I was writing this in December posters would be telling me to wait till after xmas. Meanwhile parents have no idea what (or if) or when their children are being taught about gender ideology. In addition they're using a PSHE programme that encourages 5 year olds to keep secrets from their parents and the school aren't answering my very real concerns about this. This is a huge safeguarding issue. I'm not happy to just leave it till the next academic year when we aren't being told what or when these topics might be introduced.

@Changeychangeychange

I'm aware its the last few weeks of term. However I got in contact LAST TERM. Just before half term they contacted all parents, actually inviting us to get in touch about the sex ed part of the curriculum with any questions. I replied to that specific email, reiterating my concerns - still no response. I really don't think I need to feel guilty about contacting the school to find out what they may or may not be teaching my own child. I'm not harassing them!

In response to the pp stating individual teachers have no influence - this is why I contacted the head first. It's only because I've had no reply that I'm contacting the class teacher.

I know it's a busy time of year, but when isn't it? If I was writing this in December posters would be telling me to wait till after xmas. Meanwhile parents have no idea what (or if) or when their children are being taught about gender ideology. In addition they're using a PSHE programme that encourages 5 year olds to keep secrets from their parents and the school aren't answering my very real concerns about this. This is a huge safeguarding issue. I'm not happy to just leave it till the next academic year when we aren't being told what or when these topics might be introduced.

Well again, this post reads as if your kid doesn't even exist. No mention of them. No specific query for anyone to address, the people who workvery closely with your kid. Just shouting about a policy, planned curricular content. As if what you teach them at home has no impact. Stop already. What you are teaching your kid yourself is that it's ok to bang on and on about theoreticals and simultaneously ignore realities.

Speak to the class teacher. Face to face, lie an actual person.

Abrupt, yeah, I know. Because I'm annoyed on behalf of whoever is receivng this stuff from you in the school.

like not lie
Obvs!

This is an over the top reaction MrMucker IMO. Two emails spread across two terms do not constitute harassment. It is perfectly okay for OP to question the school's approach without making it all about her child.

@Changeychangeychange

Can you explain the keeping secrets reference in Jigsaw please? I'm a YR teacher and there's no way we would encourage children to keep secrets, although we might talk about keeping some things as a surprise - birthday presents for example.

And in PSHE teacher facebook groups, most still recommend Stonewall and only ever use the term, ‘gender’.

Honestly, the fb groups are a big issue.

Most are run by people who have books, training and resources to flog. And agendas.

Im in one for another subject. Various independent trainers with their own businesses advertise their services and give advice.

Online training is also advertised; made more accessible to all via the pandemic and zoom.

I also saw a senior leader suggesting to another senior leader that an issue a parent had raised around diversity "just be ignored" in a group for SLT. Luckily others challenged this and pointed out how silly it was, but clearly this is an attitude some take.

OP I'd contact the head again and mention you've asked several times and 'perhaps the governors are better suited to answering your question?'

Tbh a call to ofsted would mean a grilling over your concerns and also lack of reply.

Mr Mucker:

I'm aware its the last few weeks of term. However I got in contact LAST TERM. Just before half term they contacted all parents, actually inviting us to get in touch about the sex ed part of the curriculum with any questions. I replied to that specific email, reiterating my concerns - still no response.

This is unacceptable, they asked for queries!

Please don't pester the class teacher about it, it's nothing to do with them.

I would phone the office and ask for an appointment to speak with the head in the first instance.

I've seen the Jigsaw resources our school is using for yr1 and it seems absolutely fine (although it is just one or two of the modules, not all). Sensible stuff about how boys' and girls' bodies are different.

Everything else aside I think it's perfectly reasonable to have an idea of what schools are teaching about body parts, being private, etc, so you can make sure you are giving the same messages and not inadvertently saying anything confusing (using certain terms instead of others, etc) particularly if this is your first child gong through school.

Schools do expect questions about curriculum. MrMucker's is oddly naive and reductive.
Tbh I would probably have started by asking for a meeting. The class teacher isn't responsible for school policy so I'd have found out which teacher was responsible for this part of the curriculum and asked for a meeting with them.
This is a busy time of year - and it's not true to say all times of year are busy. Teachers are always snowed under at the start and end of a term. Another option would be to contact whichever parent/teacher group is in place. But if you don't want any other parents to know your views, then I would wait until a few weeks into the new term (after summer) and ask for a meeting with the HT.

Obviously what I've written here is not exactly the same as my communications to school. I'm not going to reply in detail to each reply above suffice to say I feel quite upset at pp's angry response to me.

My communication has been polite, and I have asked very specific questions which should not be difficult to answer. All I have asked for is information and clarity about what is being taught in this topic

The issue of going to senior leadership is interesting- within this thread I've had various advice, speak directly to class teacher, go straight to head/leadership team, contact the governors, even Ofsted! (I have no intention of doing the last 2 unless absolutely necessary, of course I want to have a good relationship with school). As I wrote above I have asked for a meeting with the class teacher so will see how that goes.

In reply to the suggestion above that I haven't related my posts to my child - I wasn't aware I needed to tell a bunch of strangers personal details about my child's education, development or schooling. This is a school wide issue and my concerns are for ALL children exposed to gender ideology taught as fact, not just mine. There are some specific reasons why I'm concerned for my child which I'm not going to get into here - my post is about how best to engage with the school. I am of course aware of the impacts of covid on schooling, but it is ridiculous to suggest the school shouldn't need to respond to parental concerns about other issues because of covid.

MrMucker seem very concerned that parents shut up and stay out of the way.

A common refrain from people who see safe guarding as a hindrance.

No parent can delegate safe guarding. It's your primary function.

If parents have concerns, express them.

If anyone tells you to shut up, ask why.

@Quisto

Isn't it known " anecdotally" ( on a previous MN thread ) that Jigsaw have told schools to ignore requests for clarification from concerned parents?

I’d forgotten about this, but now you say it, yes I think I did read that.

@Akela64

MrMucker seem very concerned that parents shut up and stay out of the way.

A common refrain from people who see safe guarding as a hindrance.

No parent can delegate safe guarding. It's your primary function.

If parents have concerns, express them.

If anyone tells you to shut up, ask why.

Thank you for this, I appreciate it.

See Jiggingthesaw’s post on page 3 here:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/4036363-Does-anyone-have-access-to-Jigsaw-PSHE-lesson-plans?pg=3

[quote Nix32]@Changeychangeychange

Can you explain the keeping secrets reference in Jigsaw please? I'm a YR teacher and there's no way we would encourage children to keep secrets, although we might talk about keeping some things as a surprise - birthday presents for example.[/quote]
See the section on Jigsaw here:

safeschoolsallianceuk.net/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/Parents-Guide-to-external-PSHE-RSE-providers.pdf