Do you walk alone?

[Cwenthryth]

Not necessarily strictly a feminist discussion I guess more a personal one, but your brains are the ones I’d like to talk about this with

I was walking my dogs this morning very early, before 6am, in the forest - it was beautiful, felt like had the world to ourselves, with just a few bunnies and cows to share the glorious sun burning off the morning dew. Didn’t meet another soul the whole time and my car was the only car in the car park when I arrived, there was one other when I left.

I was thinking however as I was walking that perhaps I am quite vulnerable doing this, although I don’t feel any fear - when younger I backpacked around the world solo etc, it’s just never occurred to me to worry. But this is what happened to Julia James isn’t it. Just walking her dog.

Do you walk alone? Do you take any emergency supplies with you like rape alarms etc?

Yes, I do. Always have, although a couple of times I have thought to myself afterwards "that was stupid" as I was wandering about through nearly empty city streets, on my way home from a night drinking (many years ago now).

I am a big stompy type. I try to be aware of this when other lone women are about, as if I clomp up behind them in the dark they might think I'm a man.

I didn't used to give it a thought but Covid's made me lose my nerve. I have been homeworking, generally going nowhere other than supermarket and park and have to go to another city next week as client site visits have started again now. I'll be honest I'm crapping myself. I used to travel all over the UK, all times of the day and night but the thought of being on a train late at night or getting in a taxicab is scary. I have to do it and hope it's like driving was for me last year where after a few journeys I got my confidence back.

I do but not remotely. Tend to carry the dog’s poo bag around for way longer than necessary if it’s an isolated spot because somehow in my head (probably misguidedly) I could put off an assailant by squishing it in their face. I live in a town so have no issue walking along well lit streets to get home (more likely to get shouted at by a passing car than someone on foot). I’ve recently found some more picturesque spots to walk in that area quieter but I am very alert to who is around me when I do.

Depends on the setting, somewhere where I can get to a house or be heard screaming yes. I live rurally and wish I had the confidence to run or walk alone but I am so scared when I do that I don’t enjoy it. This is not born out of any major trauma, just a lifetime of unwanted attention.

Only in daylight, and only if I have to after dark, if its not a built up area.

@Wearywithteens

Im envious of all you carefree women. I’m a dumpy ‘invisible’ middle aged woman but I’m always alert and nervous. I have a family of lovely men but I don’t trust unknown males anywhere - even in a busy town - you just never know what is going through their mind and what they’re capable of. I’m aware that the risk is low but the consequences, if something happens, can be significant and devastating.

It's natural to feel nervous.

I think the thing that's coming through here is that some women are nervous but do it anyway.

I wouldn't say I'm carefree in certain situations, I've just trained myself to weigh up the risks and benefits.

Only you can decide what you're comfortable with though.

Not frequently (just through life circumstances) and I wouldn't walk alone anywhere rural/poorly lit/parks even at 'unsocial' hours through fear. I have an attack alarm on my house keys but in reality that's usually buried down in my bag somewhere so not much use.

I have been attacked by a stranger. I found all my ideas of how I'd react and defend myself were just ideas.
I was determined he wouldn't "win" and it wouldn't change the way I go about my life. But I have ptsd from it, and its a losing battle.
I'm kind to myself nowadays and accept that being scared is OK, and it doesn't make me weak.

Yes, but with my dog who would attack anyone she thought was threatening me. She went for a man before who approached me and I pulled her back just in time with the leash.

I do. I live rurally, in a small town with an extremely low violent crime rate. I think I might be more cautious in a larger town or cit. I do have a torch that is also a bottle opener that I carry on me, just in case.

Yes but I live in a small village so always feel very safe even where there are no streetlights

When I lived in a London suburb I was much more wary of walking alone at night

Yes, I walk and run alone sometimes with my very unthreatening little dog. Walk and run on streets, parks, fields,woods. Never feel unsafe.

I often walk alone. But the sad thing was that I felt unable to give permission for my DD (13) to walk alone in our local woods when I allowed my DS (15) during Lockdown. That conversation with my DD made me sad and I didn’t know if I was doing the right thing - I said she could walk alone around our local area but just not in the woods. Statistically she is probably as safe or not safe in either scenario. A car could pull up beside her on a road, she could encounter someone unpleasant etc. I could see the look in her face as I deliberated whether she could walk alone or not. She thought it was unfair. I agreed. And in that moment I realised I was welcoming her into that fundamental space that women navigate every day of their lives - often on a subconscious level. I said there are times when you need to be vigilant but you can’t stop doing stuff out of fear. But sometimes we need to be aware of our safety in a way that men don’t. She said that’s shit. I agreed.

Yes, I run in the woods in my own, without even a dog for protection, all the time. Lots of people think I shouldn't but it's my happy place and I'm prepared to take the small risk to have it.

I like to think I could outrun any attacker and over 10k I probably could, but realistically any averagely fit man is going to beat me over 20 yards.

I also get the tube alone at night and walk home from the station at home. I take some precautions and am aware of my surroundings, don't use headphones for example, but I'm not going to stop living my life.

I just refuse worry about it.

Yes I ^alk and run alone all the time. To be honest it's never bothered me. I remember reading as a teenager that men were much more likely to be attacked on the street than women and, rightly or wrongly, that gave the confidence to realise the risks were minimal. I'd rather rather walk home alone from a date, for example, than have a relatively unknown date walk me home.

I do solo coastal and woodland runs but only if it’s daylight.

I also purposely don’t follow a set routine and mix up routes and times. Not really sure why as if someone wanted to attack me they would probably do it there and then not come back the next day. For some reason though it makes me feel safer though.

I must be honest, not if I can avoid it during quiet time. I live near a giant park but avoid using it when I know it is not busy. I used to take a walk on its loop before work and got harassed severely by a man who later got convicted for sex offences. There have also been a couple of muggings down there.

@Lovetomato I am getting close to that stage with 11 yo DD now (and 12 yo DS, who I believe is at equal or even higher risk of male violence)

I walk my small dog through isolated forest every day, not in complete darkness but often at twilight.

When it’s close to dark I tend to either stick to wide open popular spaces or, more often, completely isolated routes where I’m hidden by the trees and unlikely to see anyone. I carry a rape alarm when DH reminds me, but doubt it would be of any help.

I do sometimes feel intimidated, and once had a man deliberately try to intimidate me. I remind myself that, statistically, an attack is very unlikely. In fact, the small number of attacks I know of have all been against elderly men this doesn’t stop the lone-walking elderly men I see on my walks cautioning me that women shouldn’t walk alone

For me, what pisses me off, almost more than the risk of attack, is the fact that if I am attacked the Daily Mail, social media etc will be full of “she shouldn’t have been waking alone there” type comments. I have never seen this response to any of the attacks on elderly men. Despite them being higher risk.

On a more lighthearted note, I sometimes walk past or park at a known dogging spot (and am always surprised by the times of day they are active!) I feel completely unthreatened and have actually found them polite and easy to approach if my car is blocked in

"Two women a week are killed by a partner or ex partner. I think that's gone up to three a week.
Women are much more at risk at home than walking outside."

Women in general are, that's totally true. But this thread is asking us about our personal risk assessments. My personal risk of DV is zero, so therefore I am obviously more at risk walking alone outside.

I do it, but I am jumpy.

Yes. There is no one else to walk with. I just try to be sensible about where and when. Not sure about all the advice about not wearing headphones. If I have my music blading out I feel safer than listening out for an attacker I may well not hear beforehand even without the headphones.

I'm going to be more careful after yesterday. A couple of twelve year olds decided it would be amusing to block my path and harass me. I pushed past them in the end (once I got over my reluctance to do anything physical towards a child) but they were taller than me, I was exhausted after a long day and suddenly I wasn't sure what would happen if they'd been more aggressive. It must have looked worrying because a cyclist stopped to check I was ok.

I have always walked along at any time of day or night and I even hitch-hiked alone far and wide in my youth. I feel dreadfully for people who have suffered an attack and I understand that that can have consequences, but I don't think women should curtail our own freedom unless the dangers are extreme.

Women are much more at risk at home than walking outside.

But we spend much more time at home than walking outside. Is that a like-for-like comparison?

I'm not entirely sure random stranger attacks are as vanishingly rare as people think sadly.
I'm thinking of the number of women who wouldn't walk alone after dark anyway so wouldn't become a victim, and non-reporting.