Why are women encouraged to see jealousy?

[astonafar]

Again and again, on MN with any situations involving friends, lots of women will suggest a friend is behaving a certain way because they are jealous. Especially if the OP mentions they are young and slim, it is always they are just jealous.
In reality, situations are usually more complex and the OP may be playing a part in what is happening. But jealousy is always the number one reason seized on.
Why is this?

You came back to that thread over and over to make the OP of it feel like shit for wearing heels when you personally wouldn't do that anymore. Lots of people, but not all by any means were saying the friends were jealous. I think the friends just sounded more like common or garden cunts, the types that would make a woman feel like shit for wearing heels when they personally wouldn't do that anymore.

This baffles me too, there was a recent thread where the Op disliked a certain "fashion" and had seen it on a model. A fair few responses well you are jealous because she is young and beautiful .I honestly don't understand why do women say this. It's quite teenagery isn't it ?

@Anotheruser02 The OP on that thread was told that high heels are not fashionable anymore and they damage your body, but it was up to her. If someone is that fragile that this makes them feel shit, then they really should not post on MN about what they are wearing.
Like most people I do not give a shit what other people wear as long as it is not offensive.

@Iamthewombat

To undermine the opposing argument, and to discredit the person advancing it, usually..

In the 1980s, when Clare Short MP started her campaign against page three, the argument most commonly used against her was that she was “jealous”. The Sun called her ‘Crazy Clare’, and said that she was jealous of the page three girls because she was, according to them fat and old.

What other motivation could she possibly have had?

100% agree with this.

It's gaslighting and very damaging.

You're cherry picking the parts you bring here, the OP of this thread wanted the OP of the other thread to feel crap. It was obvious, only once was heels being bad for you're body mentioned. The OP who now has issues with women tearing other women down only yesterday told someone enjoy wearing your heels. Try and move with the times a little bit.

Honestly this sounded to me like every snide bitch I've ever come across, I'm going to give a nasty insult with a grin on my face, so that when you're offended I can claim "only a joke, you're too sensitive" to me that's the definition of negging.

@Anotheruser02 that was in response to a put down from the other poster.

I have a lifelong friend, a very scientifically minded logical person. I wouldn't rate her high on empathy/emotional intelligence. She seems to explain away every single off-ish behaviour between people as "jealousy".

It's almost certainly something she was told as a child "they're just jealous of you" (she's a high academic achiever) when actually she had problems because of her lack of social awareness.

But y'know what, this explanation has made her life very easy, compared to other people who get bogged down in "why did they do that, say that, made me feel hurt, I want to analyse it and now need to have a hard conversation...." She really doesn't bother with any of that!

It gets a bit annoying though because she believes it so deeply (that everything can be explained away as jealousy) that when I have talked about random situations to her, eg I mentioned the mother of my DP's kids doesn't speak to me at all when she drops off/collects the kids on his EOW. She treats me with complete in difference, like she's not bothered about me in the slightest nor do I feel she should bother. My logical friend seems to think it means she's jealous of me!

Women should be looking out for jealousy in new partners, because it is so common in men, and dangerous.

Yes, especially when women are told that a man being jealous is flattering, or in fact anyone being jealous is flattering, that it shows someone cares, so encouraged to accept it or even foster it. It's dangerous and destructive.

I think jealousy/envy/low self esteem are rife. Social media (and any other media) is constantly showing us the life we could have, the career we should have, the mother we should be, the flawless beauty we should have been born with.
That's not to say that jealousy isn't used to shut women up or dumb them down in situations where were it a man then they would be considered competitive and it seen as a positive.

Yes! I hate it & I don't think it's a reflection of real life at all.