More comfortable exile for menstruating women

[TeiTetua]

In rural areas of India.
www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-india-57335518

It is such a difficult area, I mean I know the practice is wrong but it isn't something that is going to be eradicated overnight. This I think sums it up.

"The new huts, she says, will provide women a safe space now while we pursue the future goal of eradicating the practice by educating the community."

Women and girls need to be kept safe in the meantime, but this is something that needs to change from within and that will take time.

It gives a reprieve from the men as well as the housework - so not all bad. The stigma and mindset needs changing but a nice hut will be good in the meanwhile.

Whilst my first reaction was JFC - I assume these huts might be more sanitary then the usual facilities these women and girls use - or preferable to the outside which many use and is very dangerous for them.

When I worked in Kenya, I stayed with people who practised segregation of menstruating women. I was initially horrified.

As the menstrual house was somewhere no man ever went, the women in the group furnished it how they wanted it. They also took advantage of men's wilful ignorance of how periods worked to use it how they wanted too. At any given time, one or two of its residents were genuinely on their period, another two were in there keeping their friend/relative company and another one was just having a break from her husband or family.

There was quite a lot of this sort of thing in that group. The men were always loudly trumpeting about what women were or weren't allowed to do, yet they tended not to be around a lot of the time and kept their distance from women most of the time they were about. This left women free to ride in the motorised canoe, use whatever tools they needed and go where they needed to go, despite these things apparently not being allowed.

I'm not sure whether this was universal or whether these particular women were especially confident, but in a lot of places, men were absent a good deal of the time and this gave women freedom.

@TheSmallClangerWhistlesAgain That's really good to hear. Thanks for sharing.

A hut of one’s own...

You know this is a genius idea. We should have period huts in the UK. Only people who are menstruating are ever allowed in. Except instead of huts they could be more spa like with reading rooms and bars. And bingo, we have a single sex space...

@alexyyy

You know this is a genius idea. We should have period huts in the UK. Only people who are menstruating are ever allowed in. Except instead of huts they could be more spa like with reading rooms and bars. And bingo, we have a single sex space...

An ageist one though... you'll be wanting some wise older women in there, won't you?

I would prefer the hut for pre menstrual times. I’m ok once the period starts but before...phew

The (old) period huts referred to in this article are nothing like the “idyll”:you describe, TheSmallClanger.

Shacks with no sanitation, no power, no lock, not even a door on some of them. Freezing in winter, mosquito infested in summer. A woman saying she was too scared to even sleep when there. Women left to die horrible deaths alone when things go wrong as they inevitably sometimes must.

Yes, your experience in Kenya of this phenomenon was more positive, but what’s being talked about here is entirely negative. Women being excluded from civic life, and put at huge disadvantage and real risk, because their female biology makes them “impure”. This is misogyny in its purest form. Let’s not romanticise it.

I agree with TalkingtoLang

• and even if some huts are more agreeable than the ones described in the article, isn't it about choice and power? What do we think would happen if a woman said, 'Nah, don't think I'll bother going this month'?

And who decided in the first place that women must be banished during their period? I'm guessing it wasn't the women.

But of course in the meantime make them as comfortable as possible.

isn't it about choice and power? What do we think would happen if a woman said, 'Nah, don't think I'll bother going this month'?

Yes, exactly. Sex segregated spaces that women actively choose for their own benefit are a world away from this exclusion imposed by men (and socially enforced by other women, as is typical under patriarchy) on the grounds of women’s impurity/inferiority. That women can’t challenge because of their complete lack of power.

I found this a really distressing article. Those women and girls suffer so much just because they’re female. Of course the new huts are an improvement on the old huts, and of course I see the rationale that deeper change will take time so improve these women’s lives as much as possible in the meantime. But it’s still horrifying.

And the fact this practice still exists doesn’t just impact those women, though of course the consequences are far more serious and direct for them - it demeans us all as women. It maintains the poisonous, crippling worldview of woman not just as subordinate, but as inherently tainted.

Ah yes , good point. I don't suppose even men will buy the idea that women in their 60s onward are still menstruating. Unless they are there to pass on their menstruating wisdom. I didn't mean to be flippant about this, just genuinely feeling the loss of women only spaces.

@TalkingtoLangClegintheDark

The (old) period huts referred to in this article are nothing like the “idyll”:you describe, TheSmallClanger.

Shacks with no sanitation, no power, no lock, not even a door on some of them. Freezing in winter, mosquito infested in summer. A woman saying she was too scared to even sleep when there. Women left to die horrible deaths alone when things go wrong as they inevitably sometimes must.

Yes, your experience in Kenya of this phenomenon was more positive, but what’s being talked about here is entirely negative. Women being excluded from civic life, and put at huge disadvantage and real risk, because their female biology makes them “impure”. This is misogyny in its purest form. Let’s not romanticise it.

Sorry, I didn't mean to romanticise it. I'm also not sure whether the women where I stayed were especially confident, or whether others did the same. I had great admiration for their cunning and ingenuity and realise that in societies where the men don't work away a lot of the time and generally only socialise with other men, this is not possible.

I really was utterly horrified when I found out about the menstruation taboos and assumed that the house would be like the horrible one described in the article. My impression was that the men thought it was like that, although they avoided it like the plague and didn't ask questions about it either.

This particular part of Kenya has some amazingly strong and brilliant women, but it's far from a feminist idyll. I believe that at least some of the women I met had also undergone FGM, although I didn't talk about it with any of them. The menstrual house was their only escape from obligatory sex when their husbands were home and only a few had much choice of partner. Men were dismissive of them and believed all sorts of things about them that were untrue, and would be seen as such if they actually took any notice of women. And I don't know what would happen if a woman deliberately flouted the rules in direct defiance of a man.

There's a bit in there about what happens if a woman doesn't comply:
Chendu Usendi, a village elder, told the BBC that the tradition could not be changed because "it's been decreed by our gods".
He said defiance was punished and those who broke tradition had to provide a feast for the entire village with pork or mutton and alcohol or pay a monetary fine.
Aye and who'll be enjoying all that mutton and alcohol? Brilliant scheme the men have got going there.

I didn't read your post as romanticising it Smallclanger. It is nice to hear about positive experiences too.

Having a period isn’t “dirty”. But it adds extra difficulties if one is living in a place where sanitary arrangements are lacking and water might have to be fetched from some distance. Women suffer cramps and other associated problems (I never knew “period poo” happened to anyone else until I found out on Mumsnet), which might make it difficult to carry out daily tasks. Period (and menopause) awareness in the workplace is currently a thing in the developed world, where sanitary protection and suitable facilities are available to most. It must be far more difficult without access to such things.
Though sex when on your period is advocated by some on here as being no big deal or even fun, I can’t imagine it is if you don’t have a washbasin handy. I can see many reasons why women might take themselves off elsewhere during their period, not least to avoid having sex.

I grew up in India. My mum, grandma and generations before her had to self isolate in a different room during their periods. My mum always spoke fondly of those times. Food on tap, don't have to move a muscle, no chores, just eat and sleep and rejuvenate. And when they "came back" into the fold they could tackle life with renewed vigour. A socially sanctioned mini break if you will...

Of course this was all when families were huge and multi generational. So there was always someone t0 pick up the slack, look after the children etc. With nuclear families becoming a thing, all that fell by the wayside.

When I was still living with my family, my mum always used to make a fuss of me when I was on my periods though and make me my favourite dishes. Twas nice

OP did you have any thought/opinions on this? You've just posted a link

I'm Jewish and we have something called niddah, where we sleep separately from our husbands for seven days after our period. It's bloody marvellous. No pressure for sex when you're not feeling like it. Same after childbirth, but for much longer.

People view it as oppressive, but it's actually liberating.

But is this women making a free choice - which for me would also mean the freedom not to take part if they don't want to? Or is it women being resourceful and resilient about something that's been imposed on them by a misogynistic belief? Because I think there's a big difference.

And by the way I don't think the idea of a menstruating woman being impure is confined to any one culture or religion. I can well remember when women and girls weren't allowed on altars (unless it was to clean them if I recall correctly).