Sexism and gender ideology in Kindergarten

[azimuth299]

Hello, I was hoping that someone could point me in the right direction to help a problem I've been having.

I'm a Brit living in America and have an autistic five year old who is in Kindergarten in a public school. The school sent a message home to say that they would be learning about Pride Month and I assumed that for these very young children that that would mean talking about different types of families, maybe the struggle for gay marriage, that sort of thing.

Anyway, my child has blindsided me by coming home and saying that their teacher says that boys can feel like girls by wanting to wear dresses! I thought that we would be safe from this for a few years but apparently not! And his autism means that he's even more vulnerable to being confused by all of this than other very young children.

I want to challenge with the school and remove him from SRE lessons but I've got no idea as to how to actually go about it or the legalities of all of this in America. Can any of you point me in the right direction?

You can't challenge the content of the lesson.

However, you might have a chance of getting your child is excluded from it on grounds of autism. Does he have an IEP?

You would have to notify the class teacher of your concerns and then take it to the Special Ed dept or psychologist in the school or the district.

If you want to avoid all of this, you could send your child to a RC or Lutheran elementary, or possibly so e other independent school, maybe Montessori. It's hard to find another school outside of the public system that would be otherwise good for a child with autism though.

I would avoid using phrases like 'he is taking it literally' because they won't see that as a problem.

What area are you in, btw? My local area is generally the wokest of the woke and even they didn't go beyond saying that sometimes children have two daddies who love each other and can be married, or two mommies, or just one mom y or daddy, or grandparents, or parents they see at weekends, etc.

And that was for first grade, though it's possible the lesson should have been presented in KDG but couldn't because of covid and limited provision of any class when lockdown first happened during the KDG year .

If your school have gone the full trans path, then challenging the content or expressing any concerns about the content of the lesson will result in less concern for your child than you have a right to expect

He does have an IEP. I don't think there's time to get this written into the IEP though as they are finished for the summer in a few weeks. Would the SEN department be the best people to contact? If it takes a while it would at least help for Pride Month next year.

I won't move his school as we can't afford private and the school is a good fit for his needs. But it seems crazy that they are telling five year olds this sexist crap that if you like dresses you must be a girl

As you say, it is near the end of the school year. I know you said you couldn't change schools, but does your district have any good charter schools or alternative programs?

My DS started having problems with standard schools at around 5th grade. This was mostly due to the social clique stuff that starts to form in kids at about the same time. We decided to try out a local charter in our district that was heavy on academics with small class size. Later he transferred to an alternative high school within the district that also featured small class size. The small class size helped him socialize better, he didn't get lost like he did in class of thirty kids or get ignored by the teacher because of it. Both of these options were free to me because they were supported by the district. He also had the same teachers the whole time in each school, so I got to know them and we were able to work together for him.

I think it made a huge difference in his confidence and educational outcome in the end as he got an amazing education and didn't receive the kind of bullying I've seen other autistic children have to deal with, especially in later school years. He now is independent and doing fine.

Probably not an entire solution for you, but there's my 2 cents. I wish you the best of luck with your son. This stuff can't go away quickly enough, at least in elementary schools.

Thanks, yes that's helpful. I don't want to move him though as he does have good provision and no bullying or social issues yet. Plus I couldn't guarantee that this wouldn't happen in another school! I just want to be able to remove him from SRE lessons on gender ideology!

You can get it written into his IEP for next year.

I would approach the SEN dept with a narrative about serious distress on your son's part that he is going to turn into a girl if he plays with his doll or uses a pink marker, or that he will turn into a ninja if he dresses as one to play with his friends, or that he will turn into a puppy if he plays pretend games involving animals, etc..

Assure them that you will address the subject of identity yourself in good time but be clear that this isn't the right time for your son.

Short term I wouldn't hesitate to remove him on the days they wll cover this stuff.

Long term, I'd be looking at other schooling options, so at least you have some possibilities if you need them. It's not likely to get better next year.