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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

School head has borrowed my copy of Irreversible Damage...

43 replies

Nonmaquillee · 27/05/2021 11:36

..following my discussion with him regarding the school planning to use Stonewall materials in RSE sessions.

When I arrived, he told me that he had a meeting 45 minutes later. I was with him for over an hour. I had taken the book as well as quote from the DfE guidelines re not affirming stereotypes, the SW glossary (I picked out a couple of words and I asked him what they meant eg non-binary. He gave an approximation of the “correct” answer as per the SW ideology. I then said, well, what does this actually mean? He said, ah, well, it’s a complex issue. To which I replied, well, if you and I both find it complex, how do you expect a 14 year old to understand?
I had already said, of course, schools can’t present information to children that the teachers themselves can’t explain and he had already said, oh no, of course not 😂). Also took along the quote from the report into the University of Essex re SW using their own interpretation of the law. In advance, I had also emailed him the BBC report on the EHRC cutting ties with SW.

He wants to meet again in a couple of weeks with the RSE teacher present.

He had believed that gender identity was a protected characteristic. I soon put him right.

Thanks to all the wise women on here who provided links and advice!

OP posts:
OhHolyJesus · 27/05/2021 11:40

Well done OP that sounds really encouraging!

(I have emailed my work about correcting the protected characteristics they list so to accurately mention sex, not gender.)

Small acts of bravery all add up!

Do come back and share what happens at your next meeting.

Procrastinator3 · 27/05/2021 12:00

Well done, Nonmaquillee.

NeedNewKnees · 27/05/2021 12:19

You absolute legend!

Motnight · 27/05/2021 12:23

Well done!

Bancha · 27/05/2021 12:27

This is amazing!

Abhannmor · 27/05/2021 12:36

What a result. And he sounds very reasonable tbh. Let's hope the RSE teacher is amenable to reason too.

Cailleach1 · 27/05/2021 12:37

Well done. For all the pupils in the school, too.

boydy99 · 27/05/2021 12:37

this is fab, so encouraging to hear people listening 😀

Mollyollydolly · 27/05/2021 12:40

Well done. Real world action.

Cwenthryth · 27/05/2021 12:40

Good work OP brava

mollythemeerkat · 27/05/2021 12:41

Brilliant. And its a good book for someone just getting to grips - very readable.

ArabellaScott · 27/05/2021 12:43

Fantastic, OP.

Fancy touring schools to give other HTs the benefit of your wisdom?!

supercritter · 27/05/2021 12:43

Good work for the day

Erikrie · 27/05/2021 12:44

Well done op.

Nonmaquillee · 27/05/2021 12:50

@ArabellaScott

Fantastic, OP.

Fancy touring schools to give other HTs the benefit of your wisdom?!

Why not?!?! 😂😂
OP posts:
Nonmaquillee · 27/05/2021 12:55

It’s not wisdom at all - it’s just keeping my ears open and following the excellent advice given by several women on this board. Oh, and hearing my youngest DC not that long ago saying that “gender is assigned at birth” 😳

The head himself conflated gender and sex by saying that the school has “gender neutral” toilets. I replied that if the term gender is so slippery and thus open to interpretation, it couldn’t be the case for toilets which need to be single sex.

I’m having a big glass of red this evening.

OP posts:
Leafstamp · 27/05/2021 12:56

This is absolutely brilliant, well done OP.

I am optimistic about opening the eyes of our Head, she is "very interested" in why Mermaids and Stonewall do not make for good information sources and I have provided further information.

JustcameoutGC · 27/05/2021 12:56

Ooooh good on you. Have been mostly tackling this in work, but school is next. Had been thinking of going in more on the actual materials used, but I like your bigger thinking approach.

Nonmaquillee · 27/05/2021 12:57

It’s worth making an appointment to meet face to face.

OP posts:
myfuckingfreezer · 27/05/2021 12:58

Well done! I've just filled in a work EDI questionnaire which asked about every characteristic, except had gender not sex.

I politely explained why this was stupid Grin

A bit sick that it's not anonymous, but there we are.

Leafstamp · 27/05/2021 13:01

@Nonmaquillee

It’s not wisdom at all - it’s just keeping my ears open and following the excellent advice given by several women on this board. Oh, and hearing my youngest DC not that long ago saying that “gender is assigned at birth” 😳

The head himself conflated gender and sex by saying that the school has “gender neutral” toilets. I replied that if the term gender is so slippery and thus open to interpretation, it couldn’t be the case for toilets which need to be single sex.

I’m having a big glass of red this evening.

Yep, I if you have you eyes and ears open, it's all pretty obvious (to most people). It's just a shame that voices on the other side have been particularly loud and people these days are very afraid of "offending", when really it is just engaging brain, and saying, "wait a minute..." and as long as the action and words that come next are respectful to all, and have due concern for safe guarding then there is no reason why offence (or should that be "literal violence" Wink) will take place.
Killeditwithkisses · 27/05/2021 13:07

Well done op - you shouldn't have to, but glad you did!

YetAnotherSpartacus · 27/05/2021 13:08

Well done!

ValancyRedfern · 27/05/2021 13:17

That is fantastic OP. Well done! Still waiting to hear back from dd's school about the rse consultation. I'll be requesting a meeting after half term if I don't hear anything.

PrawnofthePatriarchy · 27/05/2021 13:45

Well done, you brave woman! Star

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