Teen daughter Street harassment

[Chompiemompie]

My dd1 has just turned 14 and men and young men harassing her has ramped up.

She has been brought up with firm ideas about consent, body autonomy, women's rights and history and feminism.

She is finding it hard to know what to do / react to cans full of men shouting obscenities, random men passing comments etc

To date she has been ignoring them and walking by as if nothing has happened but she is so angry. We have been talking about other ways to channel anger into activism etc but interested in what you might advise?

Sadly, I think a teenager ignoring it is the safest way to deal with it. Whilst we'd love to stand up to these people it's not worth the very real risk of violence.

Could she get together with some friends and do an assembly on it at school? Ideally with a few boys supporting for good measure. You could ask your local police station to provide a speaker too?

Ignore is all you can do.

Biting back never ends well. I know that from experience!

The only thing to do is get really angry. As I did. And read feminist stuff. (I didn't. I just came up with my views by myself).

In the end. Tell her they're wankers. And they do it to loads of girls and women. It's nothing to do with her. It's all to do with them.

Hold your head high and get fucking angry.

I without realising it stopped reacting to cars beeping when I was maybe 13.

I'm late 40s now. Someone beeped. I didn't react. DH said why didn't you turn? It could have been someone you know or a warning!

I said. Turning has never worked for me. 99:1 it's wankers.

Tell your DD she's not alone. It's been the same everywhere and all over the world. Some places it's worse. A lot worse.

Get angry. Be a feminist. Don't take them on unless you really want to. (I didn't play the game in pubs with insistent men and they usually get very aggressive very fast).

Ignoring is the best response.

These men are looking for a reaction. They enjoy unsettling/upsetting women and girls. For whatever reason it’s a way to show off and impress their mates. Losers.

They hate being ignored. It shows their opinion- which they think is so important- it actually of no concern to others.

If your daughter is able to so safely, take down the registration numbers. We’ve had a spate of girls from DS’ school being followed by cars or harrassed from cars when walking to/from school recently and the local Police have taken reports seriously.

Good advice above. Ignore. If she reacts she will get abuse. And make sure she knows you think they are scum. Good opportunity for feminist conversations.

If she has a Mobile in hand she could get a pic of the number plate if safe to do so. What I always wished I was brave enough to do was to spray them with a water pistol filled with coloured liquid. In a big group this might work... see the recent example of an 11 year old fighting back when being abducted and using blue slime to mark the attacker.

@Deliriumoftheendless

Ignoring is the best response.

These men are looking for a reaction. They enjoy unsettling/upsetting women and girls. For whatever reason it’s a way to show off and impress their mates. Losers.

They hate being ignored. It shows their opinion- which they think is so important- it actually of no concern to others.

I would agree with this, ignore. It's hard especially when you have right on your side but it is probably the best way.

When I was 12/13 it was shocking and horrible and I just scrunched in on myself. By the time I was late teens I had cultivated a nonchalant far away expression and wouldn't usually react.

If someone told me to smile they would sometimes be treated to a particularly nasty scowl.

It does stop, thankfully, or you get so used to it you don't notice.

The school assembly idea from a pp is also worth considering as the boys in her class will be the next generation of these men.