A reminder that all schools should be doing a parent consultation on RSE before the summer

[ValancyRedfern]

If you are a parent of a school age child, has your school consulted you on the new Rse curriculum yet? All schools should run a parent consultation before the new curriculum comes in September. This is a golden opportunity for all parents to have our voices heard on what our children are taught about sex, gender, gender stereotypes, sexuality etc. If your child's school hasn't contacted you yet about a consultation, I'd recommend asking them when it will be. This may be easier than going straight in all guns blazing if you are reticent about raising your head above the parapet.

I am so worried. As a teacher I am seeing special schools doing lessons where children create pronoun badges, teachers adamant that they should keep a child's pronouns secret from parents, teachers teaching gender stereotypes as indicators of trans identity, that homosexuality is same gender attraction...the list goes on. Please do chase schools up on the consultation if you have your own concerns.

Is this England only ?

Possibly. I'm not sure to be honest. I should have specified I'm in England in my post.

Is this primary and secondary?

Looks like some schools would have already done this and started the new curriculum?

www.gov.uk/government/publications/relationships-education-relationships-and-sex-education-rse-and-health-education

Yes. Primary and secondary. The new curriculum was due to become statutory last September, but then pushed back because of Covid. So yes, some schools may have done this last year.

Valency, sorry to be a pain, do you have a link/reference for the mandate that schools must consult on this?

You know how we like evidence on this board

I know from my work, but a quick Google has brought up this www.headteacher-update.com/best-practice-article/rse-health-education-and-parental-consultation/222762

Sorry I'm getting dd to bed. I will try and find the gov. UK info when I'm free.

Ah, I attended a meeting about this last year before Covid. I assume it is the same curriculum, it just got delayed? From what I can recall, though it was a while ago now:

The primary curriculum was shown to us and discussed. I attended as I was as concerned as you, OP. But it was very straightforward and uncontroversial. The furthest it went towards controversial was mentioning pretty briefly that all mammals, including humans, reproduce via egg and sperm (teacher specifically said that males make sperm and females make eggs, as per Department for Education slideshow/handouts explaining what is covered, which was a relief for me!)). That is covered when they learn about
how plants and animals reproduce in science lessons. It isn't covered until Y5/6, as is informing about periods, hygiene and so on (unless needed, she did say colleagues have covered it earlier with some children if their periods started, occasionally as soon as Y3).

They also cover that families are all different, some have gay or lesbian parents, some have single parents etc and we should respect that people may be different to us. That's covered as part of the general school values, anti bullying lessons and as and when it comes up.

And that was about it! I was all geared up for a massive debate and instead felt very reassured. I couldn't see what anyone would have cause to complain about, though I understand some may object to same sex relationships/sexual reproduction/periods being covered at all, however briefly, for religious reasons. The teacher stressed it was not possible to withdraw children from this curriculum as it would be with RE.

I've no idea what is happening in secondary schools though, as I've been informed of nothing by DS1's secondary school! All I am aware of is the ridiculous, nonsensical Youtube videos 'explaining'
LGBTQI...whatever the other letters are that DS had to watch during a Y10 'Values' lesson. I counted around 30 errors or contradictions in a 3 1/2 min long video and am compiling a very long email explaining what a crap resource it was, along with a link to better, approved resources that don't contravene the law!

The guidance states:
Your child’s school is required to consult with you when developing and renewing their policies on Relationships, Sex and Health Education. These policies must be published online and be available to anybody free of charge.
You can express your opinion, and this will help your child’s school decide how and when to cover the content of the statutory guidance. It may also help them decide whether to teach additional non-statutory content. Schools are required to ensure their teaching reflects the age and religious background of their pupils

Here are the guides for parents :
www.gov.uk/government/publications/relationships-sex-and-health-education-guides-for-schools

Valency, thank you for the reminder. I hope you don’t mind if I ask a quick question?

I have received something from my son’s school and completed it but I’m not convinced it was sufficient. The Policy document they emailed to me is entitled “Policy Essential Information” and is only 4 pages long. To me that implies that they’ve only sent the bare bones of the Policy (to be fair, the existing Policy document on their website is entitled the same and is 5 pages long). Does that sound right to you?

I also received a document called RSE GRID Plotting Coverage Across Years which broke down the theme and content for each year group, which I found quite informative.

I just found the Policy and the Questionnaire very vague - I don’t know if I’m being overly critical or not.

Kitty if I were you I would respond asking for more information. Dd's school sent out what sounds like more detail than you have, but I still responded asking for specific info on the content of lessons on gender stereotypes and transgender identities (I haven't heard back yet, but part of the deal is that they should respond to issues raised in the consultation, so I will chase if I don't hear more soon).

Here is my thread containing my response to Dd's school consultation, if that is useful for you Kitty

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/4208044-My-response-to-school-RSE-consultation-Jigsaw-Primary

Thank you Valancy, that’s really helpful. I will have a good read through and send the relevant staff member an email.

It just felt so ‘quick send them something so we can tick a box’. I had to chase the school twice to actually attach the Policy to their initial email!!

Kitty if I were you I would respond asking for more information

Can I just second this? My school’s RSE policy is a similar length and entirely uncontroversial, but what is actually being taught is a completely different kettle of fish!

I have just responded this week to our primary school consultation about this. I think it really all depends on which provider the school is going to use for their PSHE materials.

Our consultation has come after year six had a PSHE lesson that appeared to focus solely on Transgender identity and a section about a TW called Roberta Cowell. The teacher also showed them a YouTube video called 'T is for Trans' by Queer kids stuff. This all came totally out of the blue, with no prior notice to parents and caused a certain amount of furore. For a segment supposedly entitled 'celebrating difference' it seemed to only be focused on one particular difference...

Several parents complained, some about the Trans content and some about the lack of notice to parents, considering the content. The video the teacher used is so bad, honestly, I was really surprised they'd used it - hosted by a NB person and a teddy bear aimed at children younger than yr6 and full of 'cisgender' 'Sometimes Doctors don't assign the right gender' and some guff about respecting pronouns at the end. It's terrible, so crap.

This lesson came completely out of the blue and although the school apologised and said it was used in error (the video in particular), the kids got taught a lesson full of inaccuracies before we even had a chance to counter with actual facts. If Gender identity is to be covered in schools, it should be taught in a similar way to RE lessons - that this is a belief system that some people adhere to, not as actual fact. The school have done nothing to rebut the contents of the lesson, so I can only imagine a fair few children will have accepted everything that was said as gospel (excuse the pun) Luckily, we talk a lot at home about all sorts of things, so I was able to ensure that the DC were not erm, 'misinformed'

We've found out that the school use Jigsaw for their materials, so it was useful to refer to Safe Schools Alliance for their comments on the lesson plans that Jigsaw provide (not as bad as some, but still problematic) However, even though you can see a brief overview of segments on their own website, lesson plans etc it really all depends on HOW it is being taught, on the approach of each individual teacher, doesn't it? And if a teacher is fully into the whole ideology, they will be teaching it in a biased way.

It's extremely frustrating that gender identity in particular is considered so mainstream that it is being taught as fact... considering it is a metaphysical belief, after all. Not very secular, is it?

My son's school asked for input.
I asked if they would be distinguishing gender from Sex. The said they would.
I asked who they were getting in to talk to the kids about gender issues.
They didn't know yet but asked for recommendations.
I told them I would remove my child if they allowed Mermaids in the classroom and I expressed my concerns about Stonewall.

Thanks Hip, this is my concern - it’s all very hush-hush and rushed. I will definitely get back to them.

I teach at a Catholic school and rdeaterials are provided by a Catholic org. It's mostly OK and gives a Catholic pov while acknowledging different beliefs. But gender identity is still taught as fact. Not believing in gender identity really is the new heresy.

Good shout OP, I will email to check.

Are they teaching this to even the youngest year groups?

I’ve just received the package of lesson plans which are being rolled out to our primary school Yrs 5&6.

I’m in East Sussex and apparently all East Sussex schools have the same. The agency providing all the resources is Educator Solutions.

The website is www.educatorsolutions.org.uk
And is ‘in line’ with updated government guidelines apparently.

I had a chat (and ranted ) to the teacher this morning but had yet to look through the documentation. It’s been given to me as a done deal though.

The section I disagree with is on gender. Gender identity is being taught as fact.

So ‘sex’ is biological parts for a boy or girl.

But then ‘gender’ is defined as a term used to describe whether someone feels like a girl or a boy. And transgender is defined as ‘a person may be born with boy private parts but feel like a girl’ (and similar the other way round)
I want to go back to her on this with ‘what does that mean? What does feeling like a girl mean?’

I told her that I don’t believe in gender and I don’t feel like a woman. I am a woman. That’s it.

I’m not sure what to do with this now - I speak to my DD all the time so she knows all about it.

But yes it certainly looks as though they are teaching as an actual fact.

It’s all about being accepting and kind. My DD is very kind to others but I said to the teacher that if a boy in a dress walks up to my DD , my DD would never be mean , but if he asked her directly ‘I’m a girl, do you agree?’ Then DD is within her rights to say I will call you Brenda if you wish, but you remain a biological boy, you cannot change sex.

I don’t believe in gender at all.

I think the school should be teaching that girls can have short hair , play football and still be a girl and vice versa with boys. That gender pushes sexual stereotypes etc.

It also calls lesbians ‘same gender relationships’ - I’ve already had this discussion with DD and said it’s ‘same sex’ not ‘same gender’.

Is there some govt documentation I could refer her to stating that gender should only be taught as a belief and not fact?

I don’t like sexual orientation always included in the same breath as gender identity. To me LGB is a completely different subject to the T, shouldn’t be taught together.

@FrancesGumm I used some parts of the updated Department for Education guidance to reinforce my point about gender identity. I'll copy and paste the section below. It's directly from the DfE:

"This sets out that school leaders and teaching staff should:
• when teaching topics involving gender and biological sex, NOT reinforce harmful stereotypes, for instance by suggesting that children might be a different gender based on their personality and
interests or the clothes they prefer to wear. There should be no suggestion that children might be a
different gender based on their personality, interests or the clothes they prefer to wear. Resources used in teaching about this area must be evidence-based.
• NOT work with organisations who produce material which suggests that non-conformity to gender stereotypes should be seen as synonymous with having a different gender identity.
• ensure all content and resources are age-appropriate, aligned with developmental stage and takes into account the background of the pupils.
• exercise extreme caution when working with external agencies and only proceed if they have full confidence in the agency, its approach and resources.

They are pretty clear, aren't they?

Although, having re read them I can see that they still aren't going far enough re: gender identity... sorry, not much help, I know!

@ASkyPaintedGold - thank you, it is useful.
I will use the first point in my email about not reinforcing gender stereotypes.
I will ask ‘so how does Timmy ‘feel’ like a girl?’
I have no idea how anyone can answer that question.

I need to get my DD to keep putting her hand up and saying ‘but how does he feel like a girl Miss?’ , ‘what does feeling like a girl mean Miss?’ But ‘boys wearing make up doesn’t mean feeling like a girl Miss ‘ , ‘I feel like a mermaid , is that my gender Miss?’ and so on. Although I know my DD will just sit there and not make a fuss.

Or maybe they’ll just spout the sentence they have to say with no back up at all.

From this link (statutory guidance, primary, my bold)

www.gov.uk/government/publications/relationships-education-relationships-and-sex-education-rse-and-health-education/relationships-education-primary

As well as consulting parents more generally about the school’s overall policy, primary schools should consult parents before the final year of primary school about the detailed content of what will be taught. This process should include offering parents support in talking to their children about sex education and how to link this with what is being taught in school. Meeting these objectives will require a graduated, age-appropriate programme of sex education. Teaching needs to take account of the developmental differences of children.