Glad for this mumsnet feminism space - thank you all

[Iootraw1]

I literally happened upon this board on mumsnet after searching for information on trans matters and gay rights (son came out gay and family friend now trans) and to say my eyes were opened is an understatement.
I just never knew (being someone who avoids reading too much news and avoiding political discussions). A middle aged woman I am, who grew up in the 1980’s and thought she’d seen great progress for women over this period of time and that things were only going to get better what with the laws in place to protect us, and gradually changing attitudes in society.

But now have come to shocking realisation that all the good that feminists have worked for can just be eroded - and all within my lifetime!

I try talking to my family about these threats of trans trampling over women’s rights but find myself on the receiving end of scorn. My teenagers are obviously of a generation where they believe all is right in the world and anything I say comes from an old fashioned conservative viewpoint which is not acceptable in today’s society. Whose society - teenagers and young twenty somethings? Husband no better he just gets cross with me for raising these issues (which I believe are important to discuss) and annoyed that I frustrate our children (who are 18 and 14 btw). Doesn’t help that I am no good at debating these things and find myself sounding cross (can’t help it when I’m put down or shut down all the time and I’m not the brightest button with regard to verbal explanatory and persuasive speech).

I have no female close friends to discuss with either so I just want to say thank you to every single one of you on here who posts on women’s issues and rights. I don’t have to agree on everything but that’s okay because we all come from a place that truly cares about our own sex.

God knows we will all need each other.

Thank you for listening. 😊

Clarice99, you are so right. And people who hint that there's something wrong with you and your "rigid black and white thinking" are definitely not friends.

Welcome.

Remember to craft your "Radicalised by Mumsnet" badge.

I’m a lurker, well a failed lurker, occasionally I get cross and post. But I’m no way as knowledgeable or articulate as some posters here so my posts are usually rambles.

I have learnt so much.

I try to also read the OPs that are not ‘just’ about gender/trans etc. I’ve really enjoyed the women poets and artists threads.

Oh and IRL my Mumsnet persona is well hidden due to working in a sector that is not forgiving to MN feminism.

Being able to talk, speak our truth, analyse, discover, find, debate and compare has led to progress. coming together and talking has led to campaign groups, crowdfunders, court cases, judicial reviews and increasingly a place at the table where decisions are made. anything is possible.

lovely post OP

to the lovely lurkers who delurk with eloquence, it's great hearing from you. xxx

@thinkingaboutLangCleg

Clarice99, you are so right. And people who hint that there's something wrong with you and your "rigid black and white thinking" are definitely not friends.

You're right @thinkingaboutLangCleg she wasn't my friend at all as she just shut me down when I tried to talk about how scary things were becoming in the area that we worked - with DV survivors whose safe space was (and still is) being invaded by male perpetrators.

At the time, my diagnosis for ASD was fairly recent so I really gave myself a hard time for not accepting her points around her belief that TWAW.

I probably did overstep the mark by saying that she was setting a bad example to her daughters as they may find themselves feeling and being unsafe in future, but she dismissed my concerns with a 'oh, that'll never happen to them' which displayed a level of arrogance that left me 'gobsmacked' simply because none of us know what the future holds.

Yes I'm the same op, I'm 50 and had no idea until I started reading up on these threads so informative. My mother was a bra burning pioneer of of the 60/70's I thought we had it all until I read the state of affairs recently!

Despite the sometimes burdensome rules this is a great place. I was so naive when I came here . I am thankful for all those women who provide such great thoughtful posts day after day. I’ve even found some of the ‘ploppers’ on threads useful, the absence of coherent arguments have reinforced the strength of FWR regular’s arguments.

Hello OP. I’m pretty new in this bit of MN too. I work in the most super-woke industry ever and went along with everything until recently. Had an epiphany around the time of Jo Rowling’s most recent cancellation. It feels like taking a breath of fresh air after years in a locked cupboard. Lovely to see you here OP and to everyone else here too for all the brilliant conversation.

Cagedbirdsinging

I'm a Late Onset Feminist

It's highly contagious 🥂

Clarice99

Hello OP, I'm more of a lurker on these boards. Sometimes I don't trust myself to post for fear of being banned for using the wrong language, i.e. that men are men whatever they tell us.

That's just awful. I can't really help, because the rules are the rules. But, sometimes, just affirming what someone else has said, adding your agreement, and supporting them, is more than enough.

Sometimes it's very difficult to avoid falling foul of the rules, but it's not impossible. And for many, your support will be incredibly meaningful.

@lootraw1 you sound like me I'm no good at debating this in real life either but I have a couple of friends irl to whom I can vent my spleen! My teenage DD disagrees with me on most of the issues but I can see her starting to think about some things from my viewpoint especially with regards to boundaries. However, she's still TWAW. DH listens to me but I think he probably thinks that I'm just ranting. I think he gets a lot of it though but he sees it through men's eyes and men aren't as affected. e.g. sports

Anyway, welcome! I've learnt a lot here over the last few years from some very clever women.

(Reposting from another thread as I put it in the wrong place - doh! )

I have had one little success today.

A friend posted a link on FB to a BBC article on the consultation on conversion therapy. (www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-57059459) I chickened out of replying to the post (she has lots of friends and I didn't want to start anything that would be awkward for her on her social media) Anyway, I messaged her privately with lots of information and included some links (TransgenderTrend and Billboardchris.com - he has some good resources that I hadn't seen before) We've had a chat and she thought the link to the article on TT about the big rise in referral rates of girls to the Tavi was excellent and it's given her plenty to think about. She just hadn't appreciated what the conversion therapy ban would mean in terms of gender dysphoria and agreed it was a much more complicated issue than she had previously thought.

Anyway, one person at a time. Maybe my persuasive arguments are better typed than spoken as I can add links and graphs.

Datun , your inspirational posts were the motivation I needed .

Herogram for Datun from me too

Thanks so much for this post - I've only just joined mumsnet and this could've been written by me. I'm slowly waking up to what is happening - largely thanks to a friend who has been very worried by what's happening in her daughter's schools (and is regularly speaking to the heads). Like you, I thought we had gained so much, but we're losing a lot, chip by chip, and I'm really alarmed by it.

I do need to read up on it all though, and so thanks for the link, Purgatory. Off to look at the break it down for me thread next.

@Iootraw1 I love these threads. People keeping popping up to say "I'm a lurker" It's good for the soul to know that there are so many people sitting back and taking everything in quietly. I still don't feel comfortable adding to most threads but I'm learning every day and starting to speak up IRL.

Thank you @Datun

Knowing that there are lots of lurkers, all holding the same belief, is very reassuring.

Real life is like that. People who are able to stand up and present a compelling, fact based case, and then other people who show their solidarity by being the captive audience and showing their support in other ways.

This is how it feels on here, with posters who are so knowledgeable, willing to share their knowledge in a non-judgemental way, allowing the 'lurkers' to tap into that knowledge and apply it to every day life.

Lurking and learning means we are likely spreading the message IRL - and ultimately that's what counts.

I'm really thankful for this section of the forum.

Many thanks also for these threads and chats - found my way here via the wonderful Magdalen Berns videos (recommended)

After I posted links to these on F/B some former students who I was on F/B with attacked me for saying 'hurtful' things, and then blocked and unfriended me. A former colleague warned me that posting any GC material could get me in 'deep' trouble....lucky I have my own business that cannot be attacked by them - such is the capture of that generation. This place now feels like a refuge.

Recommend also:

www.standingforwomen.com/

www.transwidowsvoices.org/ grahamlinehan.substack.com/

www.transgendertrend.com/letter-to-young-trans-people/
The above is the most heartbreaking story and why we can't be letting this happen on our watch!

The above are two of my favourite links - she just cuts straight through the gaslighting....