Finally stuck my head above the parapet

[doodlyfiddly]

I've been following threads, the news etc, getting increasingly wound up at times but keeping my thoughts mainly to myself, not wanting to rock the boat.

Today, my child's school has asked for views on their draft sex/relationship education policy and I have emailed to point out that (particularly with regard to biological information) where they have referred to 'single gender groups', 'mixed gender groups' and how information 'should be available to all, regardless of ethnicity, gender, religion etc', they should be using the word 'sex', rather than 'gender' as that is the correct, protected characteristic.
The trouble is, I feel silly/guilty for even voicing it. Am I?
Do you get used to having views that conflict with others? I don't feel particularly apologetic, I just struggle to shrug off caring how other people may misinterpret or view my comments.

You’ve done absolutely the right thing, OP. If they mean sex, which I assume they do unless they somehow know the gender of every child in the school, then they need to use the right language.

I emailed my local Women’s Aid last week as they had listed the nine protected characteristics of the Equality Act 2010 and written “Gender (or Sex)”.

I pointed out to them that if they are quoting UK legislation, it has to be accurate and to my surprise they wrote back thanking me for pointing it out and have now corrected it!

Yes, to answer the question: you get better at this with practice. And once you start speaking out you'll find others who say what a relief it is to know someone shares their views, and together you can work together and challenge more confidently. Well done and good luck.

Absolutely the right thing to do. If they'd actually lifted it from the equality act it'd be sex and there's no room for being unclear.
Either you've highlighted a genuine mistake which will be corrected or unearthed political leanings which schools are not supposed to push.

Myself I would want a meeting with the page/sre lead to follow up, but that's just me. You could request it with the understanding that you will communicate it to the pta and parents.

@Warmduscher

You’ve done absolutely the right thing, OP. If they mean sex, which I assume they do unless they somehow know the gender of every child in the school, then they need to use the right language.

I emailed my local Women’s Aid last week as they had listed the nine protected characteristics of the Equality Act 2010 and written “Gender (or Sex)”.

I pointed out to them that if they are quoting UK legislation, it has to be accurate and to my surprise they wrote back thanking me for pointing it out and have now corrected it!

I think a lot of the time it's an honest error, a result of the insidious, deliberate conflation of sex with gender in recent times.

Little victories like this will continue to accumulate.

Do you get used to having views that conflict with others?

Yes!

Yes, it definitely gets easier each time. Well done for challenging them.

Well done OP! If you know any of the other parents it may be worth asking them to do the same. I did this at my dcs school - shared my comments on the policy with other mums who I knew were GC (or would 'get' it) and they also sent in their comments, much more impact if there are a number of voices.

I think this is a good thing to do, and also normal to feel weird about it.

It's true that for many people they use gender still as it was used back in the 90s, mainly as a word that means the same thing as sex. I think it can be especially common in schools because teachers become adverse to saying "sex" in front of kids in the 11 to 14 range as it makes them temporarily very silly. So they get used to saying gender.

That means they may not "get" why its important right away, but it is, really.

Well done OP. Apologies if you already know this but there are some brilliant resources / draft letters for contacting schools on the
Safe Schools Alliance website:

safeschoolsallianceuk.net/

Transgender Trend also have lots of publications about SRE:

www.transgendertrend.com/

Both essential reading for parents and educators - anyone in fact concerned about the safety and wellbeing of children.

Well done you. You have the law on your side for this one, so to an extent that is your answer to any challenges. But it does feel really uncomfortable when you start to speak up. It is so hard to predict who will be sane or who has swallowed the cool aid

No need to feel silly, they asked for views, you pointed out their mistake.
It may have been that they were forming their policy based on their previous policies which may have quoted the old Equalities Act, which had gender (IIRC).
They could go on thinking this is correct and with gender now not just being a more genteel way to say sex, this could have brought with it problems.
It can feel awkward to mention things if you’re not used to it, but the more you do it, the less you’ll feel like that.

Yes, it gets easier. And the more of us who speak up, the easier it gets.

Well done, OP. This stuff matters. You've done the right thing.

Do you get used to having views that conflict with others? I don't feel particularly apologetic, I just struggle to shrug off caring how other people may misinterpret or view my comments.

It gets easier, especially as you realise that you are correcting misinterpretations/misrepresentations of the law and doing so is for the benefit of the children, staff and school.

Yes it gets easier. Actually easier than living with the cognitive dissonance. Always stay calm, polite, logical. As @R0wantrees says it is a step for child protection. That's what mothers do right?

You've done the right thing. I recently stuck my neck out at work when they kept touting talks on 'gender diversity' and I had to point out its diversity of the sexes that was required and the aims of the business so could they please use the correct language.