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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Can anyone help me understand this?

18 replies

WWYD2020 · 20/04/2021 13:17

I’ve been struggling to understand this and the conversations are happening more and more frequently, I see myself putting my foot in it. I’d like to try and avoid that.

For context: I have been brought up in a household that just encouraged us to do what ever we enjoyed; i am a woman and that saw me racing quad bikes, surfing, mountain walking and gardening to name a few. Until I actually went into a mainly male dominated field of work mid twenties I hadn’t experienced any sort of gender bias (from customers, not the company itself).

Now I’m finding it ever more complicated and I can’t help but see it as the more we enforce someone to be ‘gender fluid’ or choose a gender that day/week/what ever the question is then aren’t we enforcing the gender roles rather than abolishing them?

When do I identify as male? When I’m quad biking?

When do I identify as female? When I’ve put make up on?

What is the point of being fluid if not to ‘act out’ (sorry that maybe a bad way of explaining it but best I could come up with) that gendered task/action/look?

To abolish the gender stereo types don’t we need women doing typically male activities and vice versa? Rather than a woman saying she is male today to do the activity?

OP posts:
Babdoc · 20/04/2021 13:24

Welcome to the GC world, OP! Of course gender ideology stinks - it reinforces all the sexist 1950’s stereotypes in order to force people into boxes of “identity”.
Women who don’t like frilly pink crap, and enjoy extreme sports, are told they must actually be men.
Genuine feminists don’t accept any of that shit. We want everyone to simply live their lives and pursue their interests without restrictive labels. Similarly if a man wants to wear make up and dresses, that’s fine. But it doesn’t make him a woman.

ScrollingLeaves · 20/04/2021 13:29

Would you explain more about ‘gender days’ or ‘gender weeks’? Do these really happen?

Yes, I agree with you.

WarriorN · 20/04/2021 13:35

It's all sexist clap-trap.

Quad biking is just biking on a quad.

WWYD2020 · 20/04/2021 13:35

@Babdoc ah - I started to think my thoughts were not ‘ok’ anymore, as if time had moved on and I am somehow lost in the past but you explained it eloquently! Yes I’ve just grown up and then lived most of my life thinking that anyone can do any activity or look any way and be either male or female and I haven’t ever asked them or cared. Now I’m being asked and others, I don’t want to identify as a male to do typically male activities e.g.

@ScrollingLeaves I think I explained that terribly, my apologies, I meant that an organisation will ask what it is and then repeat that question a little later on so my assumption was that it has changed that often in the past.

OP posts:
WarriorN · 20/04/2021 13:37

Yes I’ve just grown up and then lived most of my life thinking that anyone can do any activity or look any way and be either male or female

Most of us grew up knowing and doing this.

Something went wonky after 2000.

ScrollingLeaves · 20/04/2021 13:44

Think of Grayson Perry b. 1960

WWYD2020 · 20/04/2021 13:46

@WarriorN

Yes I’ve just grown up and then lived most of my life thinking that anyone can do any activity or look any way and be either male or female

Most of us grew up knowing and doing this.

Something went wonky after 2000.

Good! I shall carry on as if nothing happened.
OP posts:
ScrollingLeaves · 20/04/2021 13:49

WWYD2020
Thanks for the explanation. I thought you meant a scheme where everyone would change gender for that day or week and that maybe this was a new approach in work places.

LostToucan · 20/04/2021 13:58

I’m similar to you OP - do lots of outdoor stuff, worked in a (very) male dominated industry etc.

I’ve never felt that I have to “identify” as any particular gender to be able to enjoy mountain biking and drinking pints. I do know that I am a woman because I’m an adult human female.

AryaStarkWolf · 20/04/2021 14:33

You're absolutely correct OP, the world is regressing massively. I was was a teenager in the 90's and back then we were fighting those stereotypes and today's teenagers are trying their best to force us back into those boxes, it's the height of sexism

WarriorN · 20/04/2021 14:42

An old school pic from the mid 90's, Alevel time, shows all the girls and boys dressed in jeans, DMs, checked shirts and/ or grandad style woolly jumpers.

A few slightly hippy goths but could barely tell and I don't remember any girl wearing anything other than jeans.

We thought we were well cool. 😎

In a way, to be well cool about focussing on our studies (and yes there was plenty of drinking and snogging and pub going with our rail cards for ID.)

FrancesGumm · 20/04/2021 14:46

Yes OP - it is all bollocks.

But sadly we are battling the Emperors New Clothes ......

Lordamighty · 20/04/2021 14:51

Yes gender ideology is the height of sexism. I wouldn’t give two hoots about it if it wasn’t so dangerous for young vulnerable people.

WarriorN · 20/04/2021 14:54

Keep calling it out as sexist.

People seem to understand that.

WWYD2020 · 20/04/2021 16:25

So, where is it coming from? Are people just looking for solutions in the wrong places?

I read a thread on here not so long back and someone’s teenager said ‘it’s not cool to not be gender fluid now’ and I couldn’t help but think, ehConfused?!

OP posts:
WWYD2020 · 20/04/2021 16:25

@WarriorN yes, I’d say that was pretty cool Smile

OP posts:
WarriorN · 21/04/2021 07:06

Honestly, it's all the visual media.

It's quadruple (or more) to what we had in the 90s. There were 5 live tv channels then? Magazines and newspapers. Posters, films.

We now have many forms of social media, countless tv options, accessible at any point, constant visual screens via phone and tablets plus the normal advertising that's always been there. And fucking YouTube. It's no coincidence that flat earthers are at an all time high too.

The book affluenza virus tracks and describes the impact of visual advertising on depression and anorexia pre all this. This is step two, with rainbows and unicorns.

Beowulfa · 21/04/2021 10:47

@WarriorN

An old school pic from the mid 90's, Alevel time, shows all the girls and boys dressed in jeans, DMs, checked shirts and/ or grandad style woolly jumpers.

A few slightly hippy goths but could barely tell and I don't remember any girl wearing anything other than jeans.

We thought we were well cool. 😎

In a way, to be well cool about focussing on our studies (and yes there was plenty of drinking and snogging and pub going with our rail cards for ID.)

Ahhh- The 90s! Oversized Nirvana hoodies could be matched with a lank greasy fringe on both boys and girls.

In the early 90s I was arguing with my school for girls to be allowed to play football in PE. They held firm, so the drama teacher (thank you Mrs Armitage) set up an after school girls footie club. I joined even though I was comically abysmal at all sports and hated PE; it was the principle.

Gender fluidity shits all over progress against lazy sexist crap.

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