Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Another stalker

5 replies

Cagedbirdsinging · 15/04/2021 20:01

My son has just told me that the ex-boyfriend of the woman he loves has now become her Stalker .
She ended that abusive , controlling relationship and he started the stalking immediately . He has accelerated his activity hugely as the months have passed and now that she and my son are in a relationship it's getting even worse .

  • hundreds of vile , sexually abusive and threatening texts each day .
  • unsolicited items left in her garden , on her car windscreen
  • waiting for her (hiding outside her place of work)
  • constant attempts to phone. She is distraught and now living in fear . My son knows about my Stalker , (forty years ago then an attempt to reestablish contact six years ago...stalkers and zombies never stop) so came to talk about it and ask for advice. So far I have suggested : Report to the local police first thing tomorrow. Then book an appointment with a solicitor. (I think the first hour is free) . Keep/screenshot/record/log every single incident and back-up all files . Save physical evidence . Report all to police . Be careful what goes in the rubbish bins . All the usual Women Stay Safe stuff (torch , whistle , car check , carry keys in fist etc ) And contact The Suzy Lamplugh Trust . She and my son will come round later this evening for further discussion and planning ; I will show her the victim impact letter I wrote and sent to my Stalker . I'm good in a crisis but I am feeling a little shaky at the moment . Handhold , anyone , please ? And any further advice will be welcome ; there are laws concerning DV , stalking and coercive control nowadays so I'm hoping she'll have firm legal backup .
OP posts:
Wrongsideofhistorymyarse · 15/04/2021 20:06

Huge handhold. Flowers I was briefly stalked by my first husband and it was terrifying.

I hope the resources below are helpful.

www.gov.uk/report-stalker

www.suzylamplugh.org/pages/category/national-stalking-helpline

paladinservice.co.uk/

Thecatonthemat · 15/04/2021 20:10

Your son might well be a target also. These men just want revenge and will do whatever they need to. It is a really scary situation. Please be very aware while you are getting advice

askingrandomsonlinemighthelp · 15/04/2021 20:10

You sound like a great source of support. I imagine your son is grateful he can bring his gf to see you about this.

Block his number or change her phone?
Police involvement.
Official lettres.
CCTV outside her door?

I hope you sort the creep out.

DontBuyANewMumCashmere · 15/04/2021 20:22

Re CCTV, what about one of those Ring doorbells so anyone coming to the door can be seen, whether she's in or out etc

Have you advised her to keep a log of what he's doing? Any contact, direct or indirect, or through third parties, or any behaviour like being seen near work/home by another person (ie not even attempting contact with her).

I'm sorry she's going through this and that you're having to relive it all too.
Police are shit at this (I'm a cop so I'm not just cop bashing, we really do have a blind spot a lot of the time) so I really hope they take it seriously.

GNCQ · 15/04/2021 20:57

So sorry to hear you had a stalker that must have been extremely stressful for you. And now your son too. (Moreso his girlfriend but him by proxy).

You sound like you know what you're talking about so I'll just give you a hand hold and Flowers

New posts on this thread. Refresh page