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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Homophobic and misogynistic harassment?

3 replies

BlueMilk · 11/04/2021 18:17

Hi all, I'm here to hear your thoughts and ideas on how best to deal with this situation.

My ex husband who I've been separated from for two years now, and who I'm now legally divorced from, has started being increasingly verbally abusive, mostly through text messages but at times to my face. He calls me a "horrible cunt" and says "fuck off scum" etc. He hasn't been great to deal with since splitting up but this has escalated since I told him a few weeks ago that I was in a relationship with a woman.

Also we have an almost 6 year old son who he has been saying things to about me. I'm not sure exactly what he's said but my son tells me things like, "daddy told me things he doesn't like about you" and clearly it causes him distress.

Since I told him about the new relationship he made a referral to mediation to discuss child contact. He states I'm erratic in my pattern of letting him see his son...I'm not. He works at sea, sometimes for months at a time and comes and goes at the drop of a hat. I've come up with a somewhat structured rota which allows him to see his son when he's home but also has a pattern to it that gives me the opportunity to plan things and provides our son with some stability.

I'd just like to hear thoughts on this and how I might manage the situation. I don't expect it to get any better any time soon. It's distressing and I wish we could just have an amicable relationship for the sake of our son, sadly I don't think that's going to be possible and I'm concerned about the impact of all of this on my son.

Happy to give more details if needed. Thanks.

OP posts:
ArabellaScott · 12/04/2021 16:35

What a horribly difficult situation for you, BlueMilk. Your poor son. I'm sorry, I don't have any advice, but just wanted to extend Flowers and my sympathy.

Have you consulted with a lawyer about this new mediation thing? I would want to make sure my custody was protected, if that's possible.

BlueMilk · 12/04/2021 22:56

Thank you, that means a lot.
I intend to drop my solicitor an email, but we have been in mediation before and although the mediator is supposed to remain mutual, she clearly think my ex is a complete turd!
You're right though it would be sensible to check with my solicitor.
Thanks again.

OP posts:
ArabellaScott · 13/04/2021 15:30

Sorry I can't be of more help. You might get more response in relationships board?

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