Totally ridiculous and really damaging

[jennytogether]

I was reading an interview with Minnie Driver in the guardian yesterday where she describes having to be dug a hole to stand in to kiss her on screen love interest so that he is taller than her. And it struck me that this is so totally ridiculous...

As a woman who is 5ft11, and who was 5ft11 aged 13, I ‘knew’ that being tall was not feminine or attractive, (without being super skinny supermodel territory) and I guess I’m working out that it was because it wasn’t allowed to be visible. I can’t believe that directors would go to this much effort without critically thinking, perhaps our audience is ready for a taller woman and shorter man? Perhaps they are intelligent enough to understand that love between this type of couple is possible!!

It makes me annoyed that something so superficial is so standardised. Can anyone think of any films where the male lead is shorter than the female? Or is still no one daring to think this obstacle could be overcome?

It makes me angry that I’m realising that so much of my insecurity probably stems from something as ridiculous as this. This must go for shorter men too.

I think the very first instances were mounted horseback soldiers in ?Persia/Iran? yes, but heels worn as a status symbol to increase the standing (ta-boom tish) of the wearer was around 1700 French court, as far as I recall.

I've just had a flash back to my first wedding in 1981 .

I was four inches taller than the groom. In some shots the wedding photographer asked me to sag at the knees in order that we appeared more proportionate. And I bloody did as he asked.

jennytogether I recognise what you say about being tall is not considered feminine or attractive. I'm 5'10 and have always understood that this was the way it is but why?! Where does the idea come from and how was it transmitted so completely into my understanding by mid-teens?

My son and daughter are both 5ft8.

They are a similar enough shape that they can fit in each other’s clothes (jeans an t-shirts and jackets, I mean).

They are both embarrassed about their heights but in opposite directions .

I’d settle for Hollywood not being so overtly abusive of women in their themes. I proper gagged at a recent Netflix movie with Jennifer Anniston where she decides to have a baby alone and some deeply dysfunctional constantly negging male friend swoops in and swoops his sperm for the sperm donors. Instead of ending up in jail for his disgusting deception he ends up married to Jennifer in the end. It was such a vile premise for a happily ever after and it is only the tip of the iceberg as to how Hollywood tries to romanticise deeply deeply dysfunctional men.

@ArabellaScott

High heels were invented (well, popularised) to boost the ego of a man who thought he should be taller.

It's true, they were invented for men. High heels were invented for horse riding. Men would wear them because women weren't out on the horse. But then they just got "fashionable" for men.

Tom Cruise has to wear special shoes that have a hidden platform because of his shortness.

It was such a vile premise for a happily ever after and it is only the tip of the iceberg as to how Hollywood tries to romanticise deeply deeply dysfunctional men.

Rhett Butler rapes Scarlett O'Hara because he's jealous, and...she falls in love with him.

A film billed as one of the most 'romantic' of all time.

Yep Datum Hollywood has a lot to answer for normalising abuse of women in relationships.

Rhett Butler rapes Scarlett O'Hara because he's jealous, and...she falls in love with him.
I never viewed that scene as rape....i always thought he took her to bed after a long gap and she wanted him to because she decided she loved him after realising Ashley was a pillock...
Mind you have not read the book or watched the film in many years...

Also in my opinion in the book version Scarlett is a bit of a feminist icon, that side of her is watered down in the film.

Anyway, back on topic, there are lots where the leading man is clearly smaller than the leading lady but then camera trickery to disguise it.
Any film with Tom Cruise or Martin Freeman for example
I think the only one I can think of where it's part of the film are Bob Hoskins and Cher in Mermaids