Fed up with “casual” sexism.

[OhDear2200]

This is my list of sexism this week...

My friend who is thinking of leaving her work place because one team mate is being funny with her after she turned down his advances when on a business trip, he then sent her messages telling her that he was going to have to watch porn instead. After she had to shove him out of her hotel room.

I was called a girl repeatedly through a meeting. I’m mid 40s and being doing my job 15 years.

Being shouted at by two men while running down a dark, deserted road with a friend.

Seriously when is this this going to stop?

Dunno. Sorry.

Familiar stuff though.

I suppose though. It will stop when there is a reason for men to stop doing it.

As such it's hard for women to change it. We've been trying forever.

Then your friend should speak to her boss and or HR. Things won’t change unless men like these are called out on it or made to feel some heat.

The idea of invoking a higher power (HR, police etc) is lovely.

But not how it works in practice.

The thought is that 57000 women a year (pre covid) losing their jobs because they're pregnant wouldn't happen if only those women had thought to go to HR.

Silly them.

@NiceGerbil

The idea of invoking a higher power (HR, police etc) is lovely.

But not how it works in practice.

Well she’ll just have to start looking for another job then !.

Sexists have a role model, the Prime Minister. The day he leaves office will be one small step forward.

@NiceGerbil

The idea of invoking a higher power (HR, police etc) is lovely.

But not how it works in practice.

Exactly! After the last catcall I got running past the local building site my partner was really encouraging me to report to the police.

But how's that going to work for me? The site is just around the corner. I can't avoid passing it most days. There's loads of them and one of me and they could easily find where I live. I run in the same gear. I can't afford to buy other outfits to disguise myself and running is about the only thing that is mine right now.

Louise Rolfe, who leads the Met's strategy on violence against women and girls says women should report harassment to the police. Well, why not - at least they might then get the scale of it hammered home.

www.thetimes.co.uk/article/report-all-wolf-whistling-pests-yard-tells-women-hrn8gpvv6?shareToken=bd605dd2b7fb7760ff662d5efd23c77d

@WendyTestaburger

Does the construction site have any ‘considerate constructors‘ branding or banners? Or you can check here

www.ccscheme.org.uk/affected-by-work/affected-by-works/

If they do, the site manager will definitely take it seriously. Or you can report directly to CCS. (I think)

I used to manage sites, I’ve had labourers removed (usually with immediate effect tbh) from my site for catcalling. The poor women in question were always a little shocked that I took it so seriously. But we do.

Complaints here:

To complain about a site or company registered with the Scheme, you can email us at [email protected] or call 0800 783 1423.

Even if the company is not registered they might have advice.

@Pyewackect

Then your friend should speak to her boss and or HR. Things won’t change unless men like these are called out on it or made to feel some heat.

I encouraged her to do that. She won’t as he has a wife and kids (knob) so she doesn’t want to cause them distress. I said she could gently remind him she’s still got the messages he sent her so stop being horrible.

What a shame. Your friend's colleague didn't seem to mind causing her distress. Nor did he care about the risk of hurting his wife and child.

That's not Cressida Dick's approach, who has said that they won't bother with sex offences if the victim knows the assailant (paraphrasing).

So I can't imagine wolf whistling being of interest.

[quote BillMasheen]@WendyTestaburger

Does the construction site have any ‘considerate constructors‘ branding or banners? Or you can check here

www.ccscheme.org.uk/affected-by-work/affected-by-works/

If they do, the site manager will definitely take it seriously. Or you can report directly to CCS. (I think)

I used to manage sites, I’ve had labourers removed (usually with immediate effect tbh) from my site for catcalling. The poor women in question were always a little shocked that I took it so seriously. But we do.[/quote]
Interesting- thanks!

Interesting, it is often a friend or partner that reports on their behalf. It seems common that the recipient doesn’t want to make a fuss. But IMO they should. It is unacceptable. But that doesn’t make it any easier to report. I totally get why someone would rather just move on and forget.

Just an idea, but next time you run past that site and get catcalling, why not whip out your phone and start videoing them. I'm willing to bet that will stop them in their tracks.

But how's that going to work for me? The site is just around the corner. I can't avoid passing it most days. There's loads of them and one of me and they could easily find where I live. I run in the same gear. I can't afford to buy other outfits to disguise myself and running is about the only thing that is mine right now.
You are probably not the only one they are doing this to. If you report it they won't know it's you. Or the complaint could have come from a bystander.

Thanks for the constructive advice re the builders people! I think I will report.

I like the videoing advice too. That is exactly the kind of person I want to be. Unfortunately I usually freeze or get the hell away.

There was a horrifying case locally where several women noticed something was off about a man walking with a girl, and filmed and confronted him. Turned out he had already raped the girl but the women's intervention saved the girl from further harm. Those women had amazing presence of mind.

Tell your colleague to keep those messages (if she hasn't deleted them already). That's evidence that might prove useful in the future.