11 yr old and sex identification

[Christmasfairy2020]

So my oldest is 11 so I'm new at the raising older girls.
Anyways I strongly believe gender is based on sex. However people are free to be who they are. But I don't agree with men in female toilets and wards in hospital etc. Unless they have changed genders. I appreciate this is my view and everyone has their own views and the law etc.

Anyways from obvious conversations etc she has took on my attitude and has the thought now that people should be happy with their sex and not change it etc.

Now I know this isn't the best view to have and as I said its my view but I also respect anyones decision on who they want to be.

So to avoid my dd whom starts comp in September getting into trouble for her views is there anything I need to say to her about her views.?

When I say unless they have changed genders I mean had surgery

hi op, you might find it helpful to find out if your dd's school has been 'Stonewalled' (or is buying in RSE content from any similar organisation that will be against Dept of Education guidelines - there are still many doing this). Look at their website for logos, email to request specific Equality and Diversity policies, google the school name in relation to Stonewall and request their RSE curriculum - parents have a right to see this.

I would check if the school has sensible policies about single sex toilet/changing room provision (as per their legal obligations) to keep your dd safe.

If any of your enquiries throw up concerns (ie. your school pays a subscription to Stonewall or features guest speakers like Alex Drummond (bebearded, fully penised, self identified 'lesbian') to talk to young girls about undermining their safeguarding and legal rights), I would a) look into a different school or b) advise dd to keep her views quiet but let you know about any issues so you can challenge through whatever channels you can develop. If you are in Wales, Cornwall or Scotland it will be tricky as the people in charge are all signed up to the trans ideology.

I wish you the best of luck with dd's move to secondary - it is quite a big move but she sounds like a great, confident girl who I'm sure will find a good way through.

This shit really shouldn't be in schools.

Jeez I hope this isn't going to be the big topic in year 7. I have a DD the same age. I think I would just slip into conversation that "whilst I believe X quite a few people believe Y and can be quite sensitive about it" But hopefully your DD is capable of both age-appropriate critical thinking as well as a bit of social awareness.

Please do bear in mind that a) it is pretty tricky to discern who has had surgery and b) having a vaginoplasty and/or hormone treatment/facial feminisation surgery doesn't change a persons sex or their sexual orientation.

I'd be more concerned with getting her to understand how to handle abuse

Ok I think you need to clarify your own thoughts first - they're either muddled or you're not explaining them very well - I strongly believe gender is based on sex - what does that mean? Because it sounds like you think girls should wear pink and play with dolls, and boys blue and trucks.

I hope what you're trying to say is that sex is biological and males and females have separate facilities for safeguarding and dignity reasons? While gender is how someone feels about them self and doesn't have to be rooted in physical reality? Yes?

In which case all you need to tell her is that some people aren't happy with their bodies for whatever reason but it's important to treat everyone with respect and not be mean to them because they look different or dress unusually. And if she feels uncomfortable about someone or their behaviour to tell you.

I don't think there's a need to make a big deal out of it.

OP have a read of the Transgender Trend information:

www.transgendertrend.com/

Their campaign aims to:

1. Encourage the widest possible public debate and engagement on the ethical issues of medical transition of children and the teaching of unscientific ‘innate gender identity’ ideology to children.

1. Empower parents to challenge the new gender orthodoxy in their children’s schools and support teachers and professionals to safeguard the rights and protections of all children, without exception.

@titchy yes thats exactly what I mean. Thanks guys ill have a read on school policy etc:) and remind her to keep views to her self xx

This is a very hot topic in high schools amongst kids. Don't be surprised if your DD's views change a bit once she's at school.
Keep talking about this in an open way and encourage your DD to think widely and critically on opinions being presented as facts.
But she won't come across much from many of her peers that poses much questioning of orthodox thinking, if the experience of my DD is anything to go by.

The best things you can do at the end of prumary are to do plenty of reading and research so that YOU know exactly what you think AND you know your reasons AND you can explain them coherently. I have DD in Y7 and we had a lot of conversations over Y6 about it all so DD has gone to secondary school with a good understanding of the issues AND open channels of communication with me. Literally within weeks of starting secondary it hit us: what are your pronouns, am I pansexual/demiboy, etc. I am pretty clued up and so far there has been no question I can't answer, but I'm so glad I talked to DD in primary school because there is just so much to wade through this year and I think it might have been too late.

That's really good advice.

IMO the only thing that will defeat this stuff in schools is if the kids themselves are outspoken that they know it's nonsense. I hope there are enough of them who are brave enough to be the first to speak up.

Thanks everyone for very helpful advise :)