Parenting a Transitioning Teen- Telegraph Weekend Magazine

[rogdmum]

A pretty balanced piece about the Bell judgement and the impact it has had not only on young people, but also on parents of transitioning (wither social or social and medical) teens.

In today’s Telegraph Magazine but someone (more clever than me) has archived it here:

<a class="break-all" href="http://web.archive.org/web/20210320073709/www.telegraph.co.uk/family/life/truth-parent-transitioning-teen/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">web.archive.org/web/20210320073709/www.telegraph.co.uk/family/life/truth-parent-transitioning-teen/

Very interesting article.

This section jumped out at me:

There were teething troubles with the hormone treatment. Lisa recalls pacing the freezing Belfast streets – she was in Ireland on a business trip – with Alex on the other end of the phone. ‘Alex told me he was suicidal, a feeling that was to last for several weeks,’ she says. When Alex repeated thoughts of self-harm to a counsellor at the Tavistock, Lisa was ‘horrified’. Alex was put on ‘suicide watch’ at school. ‘Eventually, we understood his low mood was due to the puberty blockers, so he was given a small dose of oestrogen that eliminated the feelings after a couple of months. No one is arguing that blockers are without risk, or that they have no side effects, but they were necessary for my son: they saved his life.’

Thank-you for linking rogdmum. I noticed the 'success story' in that article is Alex, a very sweet but naive young person who as done lots of interviews.

Taken chronologically from that article, Lisa, Alex's mother says...

For Alex, these puberty blockers were medically necessary. Life-saving, even.

he was put on puberty blockers in autumn 2016

she (Lisa) was in Ireland on a business trip – with Alex on the other end of the phone. ‘Alex told me he was suicidal, a feeling that was to last for several weeks,’ she says.

Alex repeated thoughts of self-harm to a counsellor at the Tavistock

Alex was put on ‘suicide watch’ at school

Eventually, we understood his low mood was due to the puberty blockers, so he was given a small dose of oestrogen that eliminated the feelings after a couple of months

Is this really a 'success story' and proof that PB are beneficial?

I think I must have been typing at the same time as you EdgeOfaCoin

It was a good piece. I wonder if they could have found a family where the child did not transition and was happy as an adult?

Still have the other stories as they are very important, but have one without or with desist or detransition.

What do you think rodgmum?

Maybe the definitions of the words "success" and "beneficial" are being rewritten along with the rest of the problematic words in the dictionary.

‘We had several hour-long consultations over the course of a year,’ she says.

I'm not sure what she means by 'several' - the definition is more than two but not a large number and the examples given are four or five (ish). That doesn't seem like many hours to address a life changing condition imo.

The article also doesn't explain the link between the child becoming suicidal from taking puberty blockers which then need to be mitigated by taking oestrogen to 'puberty blockers saved my son's life'. It is not clear how she judges that her child's life has been saved when the only apparent effect of the blockers was to create suicidal feelings.... odd.

Interesting as well that the family had a very specifically sex segregated lifestyle where boys and girls had very clear roles in social gatherings.

I thought that bit at the end of what you've quoted is strange - low mood and suicidal and self harm thoughts caused by blockers and solved by increasing oestrogen, yet the blockers "saved his life"?

Helleofabore I agree. It would have been better with a family where the child eventually desisted or detransitioned. That would have given a fuller picture of the various possible outcomes/paths. I would imagine it’s difficult for journalists to get case studies though. There aren’t many parents or young people willing to speak to the press for obvious reasons!

I hesitate to comment on parents who are trying to do the best for their child, but I do wonder how much of the perception of PBs being “lifesaving” is down to them being sold as a “lifesaving” solution.

How do they know it's successful? The process isn't complete for these adolescents. Well they still consider it successful when they have to have radical hysterectomies because their female sex organs have atrophied painfully from the excess testosterone being pumped into their bodies? Will they still consider it successful in 5 or 10 years time, when they understand how they have limited their life choices in terms of partners, children and health?

The story of the child in a religious family really struck me - how much happier the child was once the child had escaped from the restrictions of gender roles imposed on females. Was that really anything to do with taking harmful drugs?

On a semi-related note, apparently 60 Minutes is going to do a segment on detransitioners. Mainstream media coverage in the US at long last- could wake quite a few people to the issue. Hopefully they take a sympathetic stance

twitter.com/imwatson91/status/1373323417278156801?s=21

Why do so many of these parents claim "never to have heard of trans"? 49-year-old architect never heard of it? I say bullshit.

At 18, it is still far to early to say whether Alex is a success story for "transitioning" or not.

I am interested in this topic as my 15-year-old dd personally knows 4 girls in her year group who identify as "boys". I don't now what is going on, but it screams social contagion to me and I do worry that these girls are potentially ruining their lives.

@Apileofballyhoo

I thought that bit at the end of what you've quoted is strange - low mood and suicidal and self harm thoughts caused by blockers and solved by increasing oestrogen, yet the blockers "saved his life"?

Yes, I didn’t want to be accused of selective quoting, so included the whole paragraph.

The thing is, as a parent, you have to believe that you are doing the right thing for your child. If PBs make your child feel suicidal, you have to sincerely believe that the negative consequences of not taking them outweighs the negative consequences of taking them.

The thing is, as a parent, you have to believe that you are doing the right thing for your child. If PBs make your child feel suicidal, you have to sincerely believe that the negative consequences of not taking them outweighs the negative consequences of taking them.

Do you know what that reminds me of? Not splitting up "because of the children" and insisting that was better for them.

To be fair, the mother evil said she had never heard of trans came from what looks like a very religious family.

She may well have heard of trans, but just assumed that it wasn't something that applied to people from her religious community and so had no working knowledge about it?

@InvisibleDragon

To be fair, the mother evil said she had never heard of trans came from what looks like a very religious family.

She may well have heard of trans, but just assumed that it wasn't something that applied to people from her religious community and so had no working knowledge about it?

It was also back in 2015 before the flood of media coverage promoting trans kids.

Alex has previously said that they were introduced to the concept of being trans from watching online videos

Poor Alex. He simply didn't want to confirm to the narrow gender stereotypes offered to him as a child.
Not wanting to play with tea sets and Angelina Ballerina, or preferring the "boys' party bag" (whatever the hell that may be) doesn't mean that he wasn't a girl. Girls should be able to play with whatever toys they want, and vice versa.
Absolutely, utterly tragic to undergo such drastic surgery in order to be "allowed" to engage in what family/some aspects of society deem acceptable only for males. I'm really, really shocked by this.

Conform, not confirm