Women only gym. Am I being a killjoy?

[SapphosRock]

There’s a female only gym and cafe opening not far from me. The idea is so that women can train without fear of being harassed by men. So far so good. Sounded promising, I was tempted to join.

www.theargus.co.uk/news/19157289.mama-fit-female-only-gym-cafe-opens-burgess-hill/

On further investigation I actually think it sounds pretty awful for three main reasons:

1.	The owners are men. Not sure I feel about two blokes profiting from the discomfort and intimidation of women. Additionally, surely they will be present in the gym at times defeating the object of it being female only? 

2.	The name is shit. Women are much more than just Mamas.

3.	They haven’t thought through their membership criteria or PR. Some women asked some completely legitimate questions on social media about their policy on including trans women. These women were basically told to shut up and go away. 

In my opinion these men don’t have a clue about what women actually want from a female only gym.

Prepared to accept this is just be me being a grouch and they are approaching this with the best of intentions. Thoughts?

Yes, I agree daisies. But, in the end, I believe that women have to empower themselves and not resort to retreating into women-only spaces. Obviously, I'm not talking about refuges, prisons etc.

Feminism is about being strong, not weak.

I love my women only gym. It is all strength and conditioning.
Yes, the trainers are Male but we do completely different exercises and training methods to my husband, who is in an all.male strength and conditioning gym

A woman only gym wouldn't be my cup of tea. I have had far more problems with women being bitc*y than men. (Mainly in bigger gyms where there are cliques. I lift weights and have very few issues going into the mainly male dominated weights section. I would rather we build women up so they feel comfortable using all parts of the gym.

I don’t think that the two things (being a strong woman and spending time in single sex spaces) are mutually exclusive. No one should be forced to be strong 100% of the time, sometimes it is necessary or pleasant to step back from the fray and let down your guard. Sometimes a woman just wants to exercise in peace.

I prefer not to make my feminism about adding extra pressures on women who are often already overburdened. “Be strong, not weak” sounds rather demanding to me. Not to mention not all women wanting single sex spaces for exercise and leisure will be or consider themselves feminists. Anyway I think feminism is about liberation for all women, not only the ones who “deserve it” by being “strong enough”.

The selling point for a women-only gym is that there wouldn't be males there. If in fact, there is, it's a mixed sex space. More than that, it's a space promoting itself for vulnerable women, exactly the kind of space a predatory man would love to be.

So no, no thank you. I won't be joining.

DaisiesandButtercups applaud

Why don't they just be honest and as their marketing tripe just put
Hey ladies, we are a pair of misogynistic mid 20s men, with no idea about women and quite frankly we don't care. We just want your money, so be good little girls and hand over your cash to us so we can line our pockets whilst not actually giving you any of the things that make a women's only gym a great success. Oh and just so you know men of our chosing will also be admitted to the women's only space we are advertising. So put on your scolds bridle and head on down to mama fit.
No opinion needed as well just shout you down and tell you to shut up anyway

I think fighting the patriarchy does not have to include in the one bit of downtime you get. I've never had a problem in the gym (being of an invisible age to most men) but my younger self would have been more embarrassed. Mind you I'd be embarrassed around the women too.
We all know if this gym came out and said it wasn't open to transwomen they would face a tremendous online backlash.

Agree OP.

And to clarify in terms of the Equalities Act surely a service can't be offered to a trans woman without a HRC and not a man?

Doh. GRC

@HypnoRuler

Seems sexist to exclude men from a premises. The same way it would be sexist for men to exclude women from a gym, golf course, etx.

Not the same though, is it? As a rule, women don't harass, wank or lech over men at the gym.

My mother is 80 and for the past 20 years (obvs not including lockdown closures) one of her few activities outside her home has been attending a women only gym. She is a capable woman who worked as a nurse for 40 years and had 4 children but I know for a fact that she would no longer go to the gym if there was a chance that men would be there. Women are perfectly entitled to have spaces which do not include men, this does not make us "weak" and we do not have to justify it

*MaMa
*
What about ladies who aren't able to attend if men are there, for religious reasons? Or women and girls who have been victims of rape or assault by a man? I get you may be ok with men around you in an environment but not everyone is the same.

I say this as a gym addict and a frequent in the free weights section (not many ladies there full stop).

I don’t like men using the term “Mama” unless they’re talking to their mums.

Anyway, I used to be a member of a gym that had women’s days and men’s days. It had a sauna and the showers were very basic (no doors) which made sense to keep it single sex.

It was a brilliant gym. Sadly it closed as the new owner wasn’t very business minded or as well liked as the old owners (it was basically a family business).

@dworky

Lol, disagree.

Im sure most people at gym want to work out and not waste time.

Also, generalising like that is in itself sexist. How would you feel if men generalised about women?

The name doesn't appeal to me. Mamafit says its purpose is an environment for women wanting to lose post-pregnancy weight. And no, I don't want to justify why I think that. I'm a potential customer, I'm not obliged to research them thoroughly before not signing up and committing a direct debit to them.

Their aim is to attract customers, and the market will determine whether I'm an outlier in being put off by the name.

What I want from a women's only gym is a weightlifting area that provides fractional plates. Being female, I can't just increase my personal best 2.5kg at a time indefinitely. After a certain point, I have to work for every additional half a kilo on the bench press, and I need tiny weights to add to the bar, to faciliate that!

@ByGrabtharsHammerWhatASavings

I totally agree with you OP especially on your first point. I felt the same way when I found out the "she codes" courses were run by a man. The idea of a man profiting off the fact that men have excluded women from careers in web development really pissed me off. No no no, you don't get to solve a problem you created and then send us the bill for it!

I don't think that one guy can be held responsible for the lack of females who can code.

If he is the one who comes up with the business idea that serves a targeted niche...I don't get the problem. If there are women doing it too then great, if there aren't then some women should get in there and make a killing!

The name is giving me the boak. Would they call a males-only gym Dada Fit?

[quote HypnoRuler]@dworky

Lol, disagree.

Im sure most people at gym want to work out and not waste time.

Also, generalising like that is in itself sexist. How would you feel if men generalised about women?[/quote]
If you're happy at your usual mixed-sex gym, just continue to go there once they reopen.

You know what I think might work well for a lot of women? Instead of trying to create ´women only’ sessions, unisex gyms could create more sessions aimed at women’s needs without expressly forbidding men from attending. So like a weights for total beginners session run by a female trainer. Perhaps with references to avoiding injuries to your pelvic floor or abdominal muscles so it’s clear women are welcome and expected. It probably wouldn’t be attractive to transwomen trying to make a point because they probably wouldn’t want to lift weights and risk building up bulky un-feminine muscles. Some men who are happy to be considered total beginners might want to join too but if a large majority are women that would probably create a comfortable space for many women anyway. Likewise a postnatal exercise session advertised along with info about the gym’s crèche - or including babies into in the exercices. They could also run a separate session aimed at new parents that could include Dads too if there was a demand for it. - That might include more exercises involving the baby and discussions about posture and baby carriers and things like that. Having both makes it clear one is really aimed at postpartum women exclusively (I imagine any interested postpartum transmen would be welcome too). You don’t necessarily need to expressly forbid men from joining the session to create an environment dominated by women. Obviously this doesn’t fix the issue for women who really need a single sex space for religious or other reasons.

Personally for me the fact that two men run it would put me off if I was looking for a women's only gym, seems a bit weird!

@UnderHisAye

The name is giving me the boak. Would they call a males-only gym Dada Fit?

Good point! Of course they wouldn't.

I just googled out of interest and Curves is owned by a man, and men can be employed by franchise owners. Clearly loads of women weren't put off by that. Although they should have been put off by it being a bit shit.

Some of you are misunderstanding the Equality Act.

The owners of the gym can offer their services to females only, and there is a section in the Equality Act that specifically allows for transwomen to be excluded from women’s services/resources that are single sex.

I’m intrigued by the Mama thing. On the website for the gym it says one of the men previously had a mobile cocktail bar type business called Mama Gin.

I’m not near the gym but I wouldn’t use it thanks to the shutting down of perfectly valid questions about biological males.