Nice People Should Be Supported,

[MaryHappyWin]

Hi there.,
I have an important existential point to make about people and being nice.
I support equality and feminism. I support women having equal rights to males.
In my view women should have the vote. No woman should ever be raped. No woman should be sexually abused. No woman should be bullied.
I support equality for women.
All men should support equality for women. End of story.
I support nice people. People should be nice to each other.
But I am against seeing evil as sexy.
Nice people should not be hated for being nice.
It is evil to hate nice people.

Any person who is sexually aroused by evil is evil.
Sexual attraction is one of the most powerful emotions.
If someone is sexually aroused by people doing evil then they are irrefutably evil.
Anyone who supports evil is evil.
It is evil to be sexually aroused by bullies, wife beaters, and rapists.
It is narcissistic, depraved, warped, twisted, evil, nasty, smug, selfish, sad, creepy, pathetic, boring, trite, weak-minded, cowardly, and bad to be sexually aroused by evil people.
It is evil people supporting the bully, the rapists, and the wife beater.
Supporting evil is not romantic.
Supporting evil people is not inventive.
Supporting evil people is not brave.
Supporting evil is cowardly and creepy. Fancying evil people is a cliché by boring unimaginative smug cruel people.
Supporting evil is just supporting evil. No matter how it is dressed up it is a nasty thing to be evil.
One of the reasons some people stay in domestic abuse relationships is they are taught to see evil as exciting, manly, powerful and sexy. We need to stop seeing evil as manly or sexy.
It is evil to see evil as sexy.
Rape fantasies are evil.
I think rapists get away with rape often because some evil people in the justice system see rapists as sexy. It is evil to support rapists.
Men should be good.
Women should be good.
Bullying can wreck lives and can cause mental illness, PTSD, and worse.
There is nothing wrong with being nice. It is evil to be evil. It is nice to be nice.
The people who fancy evil people, tend to be very smug. How can you be smug about supporting abuse?
I am not trying to cause offence here. This is my opinion.

Nobody would argue with this. People don't fancy people because they are actually evil. I don't think many people actually are evil. People in the justice people see rapists as sexy? Seriously?!

I see what you are getting at about relationships, in the sense that some women still see some of the more traditionally 'manly' attitudes and personality traits as sexy when in fact they are just sexist, and some of those men turn out to be abusive. But that's really not the same as actively 'finding evil people sexy'.

One of the reasons some people stay in domestic abuse relationships is they are taught to see evil as exciting, manly, and sexy.

That's quite a narrow reason and not one that I think is the root cause of women defending or supporting their abuser. I think most abused women believe their abuser is good underneath it all, or they can be changed, or perhaps they started out believing they were a good person and they found themselves trapped by the time the abuse became apparent.

One of the reasons some people stay in domestic abuse relationships is they are taught to see evil as exciting, manly, and sexy

Sorry that's rubbish. Its usual as the PP said, or they are that shit scared that they are going to be killed, they don't leave. Or they dont want their abuser being allowed to spend time alone with their children

Exciting, manly and sexy ffs.

One of the reasons some people stay in domestic abuse relationships is they are taught to see evil as exciting, manly, and sexy.
No, we stayed because we are scared for our life or the lives of our children. And what the two previous posters said.

I'm concerned by the idea of labelling women as evil because they find themselves in abusive relationships. Attraction is complex and will be for many more reasons than the danger factor you mention, even if in some cases it could be a part of it. Abusive men are expert manipulators and once they get their hook in they can reel vulnerable people in and trap them. I'm very uncomfortable with victims being seen as evil because they allowed themselves to get into that situation.

Even if your examples are true and a woman decides to marry a man because he's edgy and dangerous, this doesn't make her any less of a victim once the abuse starts being directed towards her. It's also a very black and white view of the world that allows no room for mistakes or forgiveness, which doesn't sit well with me at all.

It's a bit black and white to see people as either nice or evil.

What if I get with an alcoholic who was in prison due to his tough upbringing... Am I supporting evil? Which one of us needs supporting more?

This is bollocks.

There is no such thing as "evil".

You can't separate people into good and bad. People are rarely that simple and are often many shades of grey.

My head hurts just trying to read that.

What absolute tripe.

It's too simplistic, I support your view that rape culture is a bad thing but I am not sure what your definition of evil is.
We have been told by the Left to 'be nice' recently almost as a mantra recently but what they mean is too allow our boundries to be destroyed and repress our reactions. It can be weaponised against us.
I think you should try and analyse the motvations of others and look for the nuance in each situation.

Bollocks
People stay in abusive relationships for many reasons. Poor sense of self, lack of childhood support or love, fear, low self esteem, ground down unable to see a way out. Many that are not excitement or power

You don't sound realistic and you do sound smug

How old are you OP?

One of the reasons some people stay in domestic abuse relationships is they are taught to see evil as exciting, manly, powerful and sexy.

Do you think victim blaming is evil, OP?

And why are you posting your message on a feminism board, with mostly women participants, rather than one which is predominantly male?

I don’t like the conflation with domestic abuse. People stay in relationships for various reasons, including love and fear. Those women are either fearful or misguided. Some are also co-abusers or enablers, but it isn’t black and white.

But for anyone who thinks this:

People don't fancy people because they are actually evil.

Go and watch any documentary about serial killers. They have groupies, women who write to them and even sometimes marry while still in prison. It is thoroughly perverted and presumably stems from the awful idea of being the amazing woman who can tame the brute.

@RavingAnnie

There is no such thing as "evil".

You can't separate people into good and bad. People are rarely that simple and are often many shades of grey.

Agreed. I can't believe that anyone can't recognise that. Seems more likely that that OP has some sort of agenda to cast women as the perpetrators of their own abuse.

I survived abuse in relationships and can categorically say that I did not stay because 'evil is sexy'.

You're talking nonsense OP.