Talking to girls about male violence against women

[AlexaShutUp]

I have been reading through some of the threads on here about women being sexually harassed and assaulted, and reflecting on my own experiences, and it has got me thinking about how I should be talking to my 15yo dd about these things.

We have talked a lot about sexism and misogyny over the years. She is very aware of the issues at a societal level, but I haven't talked to her much about how this problem might affect her personally (other than the usual stuff about bodily autonomy etc). I have been struck by how many women (including myself) are affected by these issues from an early age, even younger than my dd.

I want to talk to her about this, but what is the best way of approaching it? Honestly speaking, it never occurred to me to report any of the stuff that happened to me, and I didn't recognise it for what it was (sexual assault) for many years. I just accepted it as something that women had to put up with. I don't want my dd to feel that she just has to tolerate this stuff, but equally, I know how easy it is to minimise these episodes when they actually happen. I'd be interested to know how other parents have handled conversations with their daughters about this stuff.

We’ve always discussed current affairs and implications for personal safety. Our eldest was very aware of Sarah Payne as about same age and fairly local. Then youngest was a bit obsessed with little Madeleine McCann and activity holiday accommodation.

I think ensure open and honest conversations. Building self-confidence to reduce risk of bullying and coercion, teaching all the children about consent and self protection. Giving them assertiveness skills and the right to voice concerns and differences.

We certainly advised all our children, of both sexes, about safety and consequences of feckless behaviour. We ensured an alternative money source when they travelled, required travel plans, had friends phone numbers and checked arrangements with other parents until they were adults. They know they can call day or night, they knew how to seek help safely if they were lost or frightened, from early childhood until current time as lung adults.
They are aware of behaviour that increases risks and how to minimise those risks. Not just the girls; boys are at more risk.
We paid for taxis if they found themselves alone or split from group on a night out, had tracker app on their phones (their choices), went to collect them if they were very unwell and tried to encourage them to live their lives mindful of risks from themselves and others but not unduly fearful.

The girl who was featured everywhere being pinned down by police was on GMTV this morning. She spoke very well and was clearly still feeling very upset. I think it's outrageous she has been fined £200. She's a student. The Police need to address what happened properly and hold the officers involved accountable. Certainly the fines should be waived.