Whenever I hear anything about gender identity or sexual orientation at the moment, I feel a bit like I'm falling down a rabbit hole into Wonderland where nothing makes any sense. I'm in academia and I work with feminists who are very pro trans rights and who say that LGBT rights in general are going down the pan at the moment. Having always been straight and never really known anyone who was either gay or trans, I tend to keep out of discussions out of fear I'll say something wrong. I should add here I've never studied feminism/gender theory or anything like that.
So I'm going to admit to my own stupidity and ask if people can enlighten me or direct me towards books that might enlighten me.
From what I can remember (I'm in my late 30s), when I was growing up, sexual orientation was very much presented as being the way you were born. However now I hear some people saying it's a choice and I read a Guardian article saying that this was a deliberate campaigning choice when campaigning for gay rights because if it was a choice, you could be told to change your mind. What's the current consensus, particularly when there seem to be so many more sexual orientations than I've ever heard of (e.g. pansexual, sapiosexual, asexual).
In a similar trajectory, I knew that some people had gender dysphoria but the idea of non-binary seems a new one on me. Is there a consensus that trans people are born in a different body to the way their brain thinks they are, or is that also seen as a choice?
Sorry if these are really basic questions but I feel like I need to know the answers to form a measured opinion!